


Unwanted Attention

by MidwestWeeb



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, College Parties, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Developing Relationship, Drinking Games, Drugs, Everyone loves reader, F/M, Fluff, Heavy Drinking, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Insecurity, Not Poly, Past Rape/Non-con, Pining, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Esteem Issues, Swearing, college volleyball, emotional abuse/trauma, more like elimination, shy but spunky reader, the relationships are tagged because it's a WIP and the end game hasn't been revealed yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 81,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25255048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidwestWeeb/pseuds/MidwestWeeb
Summary: It had been a while since your last college party, maybe even a year or so. Your intention had been to enjoy going out with your cousin, Hitoka Yachi, who was the team manager for your college’s men’s volleyball team. Despite wanting to avoid everyone’s attention, you end up catching the eyes of a few of the star players. Some become foes, some become friends, and one becomes even more…
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji & Reader, Akaashi Keiji/Reader, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio & Reader, Kageyama Tobio/Reader, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou & Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Oikawa Tooru & Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 78
Kudos: 422





	1. Arrival at the Party

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic!! I've honestly just been working on it for a couple of days, and wanted to put it somewhere that wasn't just in my brain! I wanted it to be similar to a reverse harem, and with these boys... it isn't a bad thought. Basically it's just a story I entirely came up with, so don't feel obligated to agree with me on some character actions or personalities! 
> 
> The story takes place in an American four-year institution. I've made the first years from the series sophomores in college, second years juniors, and third years would be seniors. 
> 
> I am also not a fashion major or expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I have been obsessed with looking at outfits on Pinterest, so that's where I will be getting some inspiration.
> 
> Happy Reading! 
> 
> MW

The familiar ring tone of your phone started just as you were putting the finishing touches on your hair and makeup. It was definitely your cousin Hitoka Yachi calling to make sure you were getting ready for the party. You sighed and braced yourself to answer thinking briefly about how embarrassing it is that your younger cousin had to invite you to college parties. Although, it was thanks to her job as the men’s volleyball team manager that she always seemed to know where the parties were. You also reasoned with yourself that since you’ve been so focused on school the past couple of years, you never really established yourself as a partygoer. _That’s kinda a lie,_ you admitted to yourself. (You did spend a lot of time on schoolwork, but it was more a result of something or _someone_ else rather than a choice). However, this year, you were a junior and things had changed, so you were determined to have some fun in college before it was too late.

“Hello?” you said with just enough annoyance to tell the caller that you already knew what she wanted.

“So, I’m assuming you’re ready then?” Yachi asked with her overly enthused tone that she always used to counter your attitude. Her voice was muffled by several other voices in the background. “I am texting you the address. It’s at the volleyball boy’s house, so when you get there just tell them you know me. I’m on my way there now with some of the guys, so we will definitely beat you.” The voices got louder to the point where you could barely hear the last thing she said.

You respond, “Ok, I’ll leave here shortly. See you there.” Assuming Yachi was getting distracted and wanted to keep the conversation short, you hung up after that. Looking down at your phone, you wished Yachi was the manager of any other team. It wasn’t that you didn’t like the volleyball boys, honestly, you had never met them; the sport in general just brought back bad memories. Memories you didn’t want to think about ever, let alone tonight.

Snapping back to reality you acknowledged that if she was on her way there with the guys, some of the younger teammates most likely pregamed in her apartment. That meant she probably already ahead of you and feeling a buzz. Standing, you grabbed some liquor from your stash and poured out a shot and a half. You grimaced at the thought of being twenty-one but also still a lightweight. Determined to have a bit more fun than your usual careful self would allow, you made it two shots. After choking on the horrible tasting liquid, you took one last look in the mirror.

Yachi had actually helped you decide on a short sleeve, white t-shirt underneath a plaid body-con dress. You were good at coming up with outfit designs, but you always got nervous when picking out your outfits; you really didn’t want to make yourself stand out. However, when you examined yourself thoroughly, you realized it was a bit too boring, so you put on a black belt and chunky, high-top boots to finish the look.

Despite the shy and reserved exterior, you constantly exhibited, the grungier look matched your personality a bit better. You always did have a little bite to your bark, but you were conditioned to suppress that part of yourself. Tonight, there wasn’t anyone you were trying to impress, but Yachi insisted you dress confidently, and this felt comfortable. Besides, you were a fashion design major, after all, so you had to look the part. Most of the other girls there would probably be severely underdressed in an attempt to gain the attention of the athletes present. You figured your choice of clothes might help you fly under the radar. You didn’t want any attention, especially not from any more volleyball boys.

As your eyes lingered on yourself throughout your internal monologue, you couldn’t help but smile in the mirror a bit. While this outfit probably wasn’t the most revealing, it did compliment your legs and curves well. It also looked nice with your simple but glittery eyeshadow and your softly curled hair. After a few seconds, corners of your mouth turned down as a familiar voice echoed through your head:

_“You really think anyone but ME would find YOU attractive? – Tsk. Well, don’t come crawling back to me when you realize you’ll be alone forever, stupid bitch.”_

A pit grew in your stomach. It felt like a black hole was opening up, threatening to swallow you whole. _Maybe I shouldn’t go._ But just as the thought finished in your head, Yachi’s text with the address popped up on your phone. You sighed, you could do this, you were just going to have fun.

_________________________________

Getting into the party was easy, truly all you had to do was say you knew Yachi. Since this was her second year as a team manager, most of the guys were familiar with her. It was impressive how Yachi had broken out of her shell the past two years of college. She used to be so shy and nervous, but I guess being a team manager in high school helped her with that. _Maybe I should try getting a management position,_ you joked internally. Her time as a team manager even helped her pick her current major – sports management. She certainly loved volleyball and you gave her mental praise for enjoying while also being good at her job.

Now that you were in, the challenge would be finding her. Even though the party only started about thirty minutes ago, the house was packed with bodies. _Guess it’s not that surprising since Yachi said the team was pretty good._ Still, it was definitely out of your comfort zone, and it probably showed considering everyone you tried to shyly push past gave you an annoyed look.

Scanning around the building, you realized it was your first time you had been in the volleyball house. You hadn’t even been to one of the games. At first, it was because _he_ wouldn’t let you, now it was because the memories hurt too much. It was okay though, working on your portfolios, searching for internships, and networking took up the majority of your time anyways. When you weren’t doing those things, you were snuggled in your studio apartment watching a romance anime or something.

This wasn’t your first college party, but you were surprised that the volleyball house looked a lot like the fraternity houses you see in the movies. The idea made you laugh because you knew that even though it belonged to a sports team it somehow felt like cultish things were still conducted here. As you stood in the front room, you noticed a big staircase to your left that opened up to a cutout on the second floor with a circular balcony. Behind the staircase, there was a large room where you could see shadows of people from the party lights. To your right there was an even larger room that was entirely open, you could even see a DJ in the back. In front of you, there were a couple of different doors (that you assumed were locked) and one long hallway.

Once you gained your bearings a little bit more you decided a drink might help ease the nerves and decided to follow the hallway to the kitchen. You were even surprised to realize that you weren’t feeling too buzzed from the double shot you took back at your apartment. Pressing against the wall of the nearest hallway, you walked towards what you assumed was the kitchen. After slowly pushing your way there, you couldn’t help but let your draw drop at the sight of so much alcohol. It truly looked like someone had dumped a liquor store on the island in the center of the large kitchen.

_How athletes could drink so much considering they were supposed to be in their best shape?_ You thought and considered asking Yachi when you found her later.

With so many drink options in front of you, it almost made you more overwhelmed. However, while you were looking around you noticed something strange. Quite a few groups were standing near the drinks, but one, in particular, caught your eye. Near this giant bucket of red juice on another counter, a group of guys stood staring, exchanging whispers between one another. Although they were trying to hide it, you could also see them stealing glances and pointing at the girls who you were assuming already had juice in their cup. It gave you an uneasy feeling.

You stared for a second too long as one of the boys noticed and called out, “Hey beautiful, want to try some ‘Jungle Juice’, it was made by yours truly?” When he spoke, you could see the glistening of the metal piercing inside his mouth. He was wearing a vintage, yellow button-up t-shirt (that was mostly unbuttoned) with dark, cuffed jeans. Your eyes automatically went to the chain around his neck, but you caught a good view of his chiseled chest and abs in the process. He was definitely a volleyball player.

Mentally facepalming, and shocked you got caught staring, your cheeks turned a light shade of pink that you hoped was hidden by the poor lighting. You began fumbling with your words, “I-I t-think I’ll stick with a b-beer.” Turning your face, you start frantically looking around for the beer. _How could catching a glimpse of one guy’s body turn you into this much of a stuttering fool,_ you groaned internally. To make matters worse, all you can see are empty cases among the sea of liquor bottles. _How are they already out of beer, it’s been 30 minutes._

While you were busy frantically looking, the boy jumped off the counter he was sitting on and started walking towards you. You gulped nervously as you felt him approaching, “You sure you don’t want to try some? I really think you won’t regret it,” he said moving forward, causing you to turn and step back to meet the countertop behind you with your backside. He was standing so close, it forced you to look directly up at him, leaving what felt like a fingernail’s width between your faces.

_Shit, it’s like these guys just know how to pick me out._ The panic starting to rise in your throat. Every cell on your body seemed to stand on alert, but it was like you were a prisoner of his gaze. His eyes held intense energy, it was intimidating. This guy was a tool, you should’ve slapped him, or kicked him, or yelled at him to ‘fuck off.’ But you never did learn how to stand up for yourself, and you guessed that’s one of your many flaws.

He was someone who used his looks and attitude to get what he wants, you knew this. It reminded you too much of _him,_ he even looked like _him_ too _._ If you weren’t so familiar with these types of guys, you too might have admired how handsome he was with his athletic build, undercut, spikey blond hair, and piercings. But you didn’t want any boy’s attention, and you certainly didn’t want his, you couldn’t do it again.

You stood dumbfounded staring up at him while your eyes began to burn from holding back frightened tears. It felt like you were frozen for eternity. Suddenly the frost began to melt as you felt a warm tap on your right shoulder.

“Terushima, that’s enough. That’s no way to treat a guest.” Turning to you he said, “Hey, did I hear you say you wanted a beer?” Despite showing hostility towards the guy he named Terushima moments ago, he greeted you with a warm smile and a very reassuring voice. You thought he must have been an angel with his silver hair and soft features. Since it was in your nature to pay attention to a person’s outfit, you couldn’t help but notice how well he pulled off overalls.

Before you could respond, Terushima scoffed and said, “Loosen up Suga, I’m just trying to have some fun with the new girl. I haven’t seen her around here yet, she must be one of our new groupies.”

“Actually, make it two,” you replied, ignoring Terushima’s comment while starting to step towards the silver-haired boy. You were thankful for the opportunity to leave the previous situation since Terushima took a few steps back after Suga’s arrival.

“Yes, ma’am,” the silver-haired boy chuckled. “I’m Suga, by the way, I live here.” He started to walk to a cooler behind the island. _So that’s where they were keeping the rest of the beer._ Putting some distance between you and Terushima made him lose interest and walk back to stand with his buddies. You still felt uneasy as his eyes were pinned on your back as you walked away.

Finally feeling your heart rate slow after your previous encounter, your senses came back to you. “Oh! So, you must be on the volleyball team then? Do you know Yachi, your manager? I’m her cousin [Y/N], nice to meet you!” you said in one breath, happy to meet someone who might tell you where to find Yachi. You needed to find her, clearly, you couldn’t be trusted on your own.

Laughing at your antics Suga replied cheerfully, “Well I technically don’t play on the team, but yes I know Yachi, we went to high school together.”

You gave him a quizzical look, a bit confused about how he lived in the volleyball house but wasn’t on the team. Since you had just met, you decided it wasn’t appropriate to ask. Instead, you tried to test out some of your sarcasm that’s been a little rusty, “Oh, how unfortunate for you. I hope she didn’t cause too much trouble.”

“You’re a funny gal, you know that? I think my Dai-chan would like you,” Suga said through his laughter.

Your whole body went warm at the compliment. It was so simple, yet so genuine, it was real praise and it felt foreign but good. Suga’s smile was extremely infectious, and you wanted to keep making him laugh because it made you feel safe. You also really wanted to know who this ‘Dai-chan’ was that Suga claimed to have. However, after he finished pouring your two beers into two cups, you downed one immediately and asked if he knew where Yachi was. When you walked away to go find her, you thanked Suga for his kindness and hoped it wasn’t the last time you got to speak to him.


	2. The Drinking Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had another chapter typed up, so I thought I would just upload it! Not to spoil it, but there is some implicit use of date rape drugs, so if that bothers you, please be careful reading this chapter!
> 
> Otherwise, happy reading!
> 
> MW

In the large living room, sweaty bodies were piled in like sardines. Some were dancing, some were trying, fruitlessly, to have a conversation over the music, and some were even sucking face. You commended those people for finding a catch in the first 45-minutes but also frowned as a few unwanted memories filled your head.

A blond tuft of hair bouncing across the room broke your trance. _Found her_. Weaving through bodies, you mentally thanked her for not being in the center of the crowd. The room temperature on the outskirts was hot enough, you would’ve broken a sweat in the center.

“Chi-chan!” You said at a volume above talking when you got close enough. Chi was a nickname you given her years ago. She hated it, which made you want to use it more. However, the satisfaction had all but worn off because she was used to it now.

“AHHHH [Y/N] what in the hell took you so longgggg?” _Yup, she was definitely feeling the buzz_. “Oh is that for me? Tha-“

“Oh no you don’t,” you snatched your drink away from her grubby fingers, “this is my first party in ages and you’re way ahead of me.”

An almost evil smirk spread across Yachi’s face. “That’s my little [nickname]-chan, so grown up and ready to partyyy.” That was the nickname she gifted you as a comeback.

Rolling your eyes, you said, “Chi, I’m older than you, you idiot,” and nudged her into the person she must have been speaking with before your arrival. Doing so must have reminded her that she was even talking to that person in the first place.

“Oh! [Y/N], this is Kageyama! He’s one of the setters on the team, people call him the ‘King of the Court’,” she said with a sarcastic chuckle.

Looking at the boy in front of you, all you saw was darkness. Mostly because he wore a black hoodie with black joggers (normally you would’ve been annoyed to see a boy wearing athleisure out, but it seemed to fit him). It wasn’t really his clothes that gave you the sense of darkness it was something like his aura. Not an evil darkness, more like a mysterious one. His brilliant blue eyes seemed cold, but you felt like he looked at you warmly. It gave you a weird feeling on the inside, but you must have been silent for too long because Yachi piped up again. “Hey, earth to [Y/N], don’t be rude.”

“S-sorry, Kageyama, it’s nice to meet you. My name is [Y/N],” you managed to say with a slight bow to try and hide the blush of embarrassment spreading across your cheeks. _Enough with the staring, I can’t keep embarrassing myself tonight._

As you began to stand up, you were shoved forward straight into Kageyama as two (loud) bodies nearly tackled Yachi. One of the boys had a buzzcut, and the other had the front pieces of his hair bleached. A style statement that you couldn’t ignore and definitely gave him points for.

“YACHIIII, Kiyoko is almost here! Let’s go wait by the door,” You heard one of the two boys say to your cousin.

Regaining your balance, you realized almost half of your drink was spilled on the boy in front of you. You were about to start apologizing when one of the new arrivals interrupted you.

“Heyyy Yachi, who’s your friend? I’m Nishinoya, the team’s libero. A pleasure to meet you m’ lady.” He was shorter, but he stood tall with his hands on his hips. It made you giggle, he definitely had spunk.

“Oh, -um I’m [Y/N], Yachi’s cousin, nice to meet you as well,” you said after you tossed an apologetic smile at Kageyama.

“Why didn’t you ever tell us your cousin looked like this,” The other boy said, acting like you weren’t standing right there. Any normal person would’ve recognized the compliment, but since the comment drew attention to your looks you immediately felt self-conscious. Out of pure reaction, you looked down at your boots and began to shift uncomfortably. The group was looking at you now, which made you want to shrink into nothing.

Thank god Yachi was aware of the majority of your insecurities and the reasoning behind them because she instantly tried to pull the attention away from you. “Hey, she’s related to me, isn’t she?” Yachi asked with sarcasm in her tone. Immediately followed by, “let’s go find Kiyoko. I’m so excited! I’ll be back [Y/N], stay with Kageyama.”

Picking your head up, you turned to the annoyed boy next to you, which reminded you that he was wearing your drink. “I-I’m so sorry Kageyama, let me go get something to clean this up. Oh god, I can’t believe I did that,” you rambled, grasping your cheeks and turning to try and find a towel in the kitchen.

Gently but with a determined firmness, Kageyama grabbed your arm. From where he was touching, you could feel what almost felt like electricity spreading up your arm. Both of you stood still just staring at one another and you swore you saw a slight blush start to spread. You convinced yourself it was probably just the colored lights changing nearby. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I live here, I’ll just go change,” he said finally.

Just then, you heard a sing-song voice over the music, “~Oh Tobio-channnnn~” Kageyama dropped your arm almost immediately and threw his hands into the soaked pocket of his black hoodie. “You know Tobio, I was going to do my best to leave you alone and let you celebrate tonight, but once I saw you blush like a little school girl, I had to see who could manage to cause such a reaction.”

At the last comment, you felt your face heat up as you realize the boy was talking about you. _Did he really blush that hard?_

You felt like an ant under a looking glass as the new boy examined you from head-to-toe. After a pause, “oh wow, she really is something, isn’t she Tobio,” the boy smirked down at you. Before nervously looking away from the examiner, you couldn’t help but notice how tall and handsome he was. You caught a glimpse of his beautiful chestnut hair and it looked so soft. It almost made you want to turn back so you could reach out and touch it. As much as you wished he wasn’t you knew he was still staring since his big brown eyes were practically burning a hole into the side of your face. If your cheeks weren’t already burning, they were on fire now.

“Shut up, Shittykawa. And stop calling me Tobio,” Kageyama retorted, thankfully turning the boy’s gaze away from you.

“Tobio-chan quit being mean. Why don’t you introduce me to your new friend”

You felt like the tension was starting to get thick enough to cut with a knife, so you decided to speak up, “My name is [Y/N], I’m Yachi’s older cousin. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Is that so? Yachi our little team manager? How interesting, I’m Oikawa by the way, Tobio’s mentor,” by the way he accentuated the last word you could tell he was trying to push Kageyama’s buttons. It was definitely working because Kageyama seemed to be getting more annoyed by the second.

_So, he was a volleyball player too?_ _What the hell is with all these players being absolutely gorgeous..._

Kageyama looked reluctantly between you and Oikawa. It seemed like he was debating something, weighing the odds between two choices. You could already tell he was someone who seemed to think every choice through before making a decision. His eyebrows were furrowed, and it was funny how his scowl did a better job of making him look cute than scary. Honestly, his resting face was probably more intimidating than his scowl.

After a long sigh, “I’m going to go change. Oikawa, make yourself useful for once and get [Y/N] another drink.”

“Leaving so soon Tobio-chan, it was just starting to get fun? But alright, I’ll keep our little cutie some company,” Oikawa said, but the comment made you grimace. Pet names were supposed to be sweet, but you had a feeling he was saying it to try to get under Kageyama’s skin. The thought of being a pawn between a game of two bickering boys was annoying.

“No, it’s ok, I know where the kitchen is, I can get another,” you insisted.

Kageyama started walking off, but Oikawa said, “Oh nonsense, not with that rotten Terushima on the prowl in there. I’ll at least join you.”

Without hesitation, he grabbed your hand and started walking a different way than how you had entered from the kitchen previously. His hands were big, but they were soft. Your annoyance was replaced with panic thinking how sweaty yours probably felt. Oikawa felt you tense up and he stopped dead in his tracks before you entered the kitchen.

“Can I ask you something?” Oikawa asked, never letting go of your hand.

A little shocked you glanced to see if anyone was nearby. He had managed to pull you to the end of a hallway that was relatively empty save a few people that looked too drunk to notice they weren’t alone. _Again, it had only been just over an hour, how were people so quick to get hammered._ “S-sure,” you responded hesitantly.

“I’ve never seen you here before, and trust me, I would’ve remembered if I had seen someone like you. Plus, you’re Yachi’s cousin but you don’t seem to have half of her confidence, no offense. So, what’s your story? Why suddenly would you start hanging around us volleyball guys?” Oikawa blurted out.

Right before he had asked, you thought taking a large swig of your remaining drink with your free hand might help answer whatever question was coming. You were very wrong because all it did was give you something to choke on out of shock. While you were coughing you didn’t realize that Oikawa shifted positions to stand next to you and lightly tap your back. Suddenly aware of his close proximity, you jumped back into the doorframe behind you. Alarmed by your movement, Oikawa pulled his hand back. Simultaneously, you saw a look of understanding spread across his face.

“Ahhhh, I see. So that’s what it is. Well, anyway, I am happy you’re hanging around us,” he said while smirking and giving you a totally different look. It seemed like one of empathy mixed with something mischievous.

Since you didn’t give him an answer, you didn’t really know what he was thinking. You didn’t care to try and correct him or explain yourself to him, you mostly just wanted to leave the situation. Standing alone with him made you extremely nervous for some reason. Starting to blush, you looked away and glanced at the commotion going on in another room at the other end of the hall.

“Some of the other boys are playing games in there, why don’t you head in and I will meet you with another drink?” Oikawa said as he started to turn away towards the kitchen. You agreed, thinking it wasn’t the best idea to stand alone with Oikawa any longer.

__________________________________

In the wide entrance of the room, you were sucked into a sea of people who seemed to be exiting the same room. Once several of them had cleared out, you got a better view of the table where the game was being played. Despite being a novice partier, you assumed the game was ‘beer pong.’ The commotion you saw must have been because one of the teams lost as the side of the table near you was empty. You could clearly see the victors at the other end.

The boy on your left was a tall and buff guy with spikey hair that was silver on the ends. Because of his build, you guessed he was a volleyball player. He also seemed to be the loudest person in the room as he kept cheering and saying ‘Hey! Hey! Hey!’ over and over. Wearing a plain black t-shirt and cuffed denim shorts, it was amazing how visible the contours of his muscles were through his clothing. You assumed that besides his voice, this body was the other reason he had every girls’ attention in the room.

Despite everyone’s eyes falling on this boy, your eyes seemed to drift to the boy beside him. He was the first person you actually recognized since you entered the party. You never met the boy, but he had been in a few of your classes freshman year. You would’ve never dreamed of approaching him back then, mostly because of fear of what _he_ would do.

He was just as handsome as he was two years ago, only much more mature looking. He had messy black hair, but his most notable feature was his eyes. Even from where you were standing, you could see the gunmetal blue reflecting in what little light there was in the room. He always wore somewhat of an exasperated look, and for some reason, you found it highly attractive.

Another thing you always admired him for was his fashion sense. There were very few men that you acknowledged could pull off a turtleneck sweater, and here he was in a tan sweater with plaid ankle slacks. The lighter colors complemented his dark hair perfectly. The corner of your mouth tugged upwards slightly as you realized that the two of you were dressed somewhat similarly. _I guess great minds think alike._

Once again, you were probably staring too long (you’d have to work on that for your next social outing) as the loud boy called out to get your attention.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! You in the dress! Come play us, we’ve already beaten everyone else,” the boy yelled causing everyone’s eyes to turn to you. You felt the color rush from your body and your hands went cold. Even with the alcohol in your system, you didn’t feel at all comfortable with all these eyes on you.

“Bokuto-san, you can’t address people like that, it’s rude,” the handsome boy said much more quietly while rolling his eyes but letting them fall on you at the end. _Not him too!_ This was hell, you were sure of it.

Waving your arms frantically, you tried to deny playing, “oh n-no, it’s ok. I am waiting for a drink; I came to watch!”

“Trust me, you’ll be drinking if you start playing!” The boy with the spikey hair pressed on.

With a deep breath, you looked down at your boots and then up at the beautiful boy with the dark hair. He gave you a soft smile. You felt warmth coursing through your body and for some reason, it felt like he gave you all the courage in the world. _Probably the alcohol catching up,_ _but I did come to have fun, what can one game hurt._ You thought as you started stepping towards the table. “But I don’t have a partner,” you said slightly defeated once you realized.

“I’ll gladly play with her,” you heard a familiar voice say. Groaning, you turned around to see Terushima walking up behind you. He handed you a drink, “This is from Oikawa, don’t worry.”

There wasn’t any of the juice in the cup, it was just beer. You couldn’t imagine that Oikawa would’ve sent it with Terushima after his comment about him being ‘rotten’, but they are teammates, so it was possible. Reluctantly you took the cup and put it next to you, Terushima already starting to re-rack the cups.

You looked up, your eyes meeting the dark-haired boy’s again, this time his glare instantly caused you to look down at your feet. _What the hell happened to all that courage from before._

“I’m Bokuto by the way,” the loud boy said as he set the cups up. “And this is Akaashiii,” he added throwing an arm around the dark-haired boy’s neck.

“I’m [Y/N], do you play volleyball? I’m Yachi’s cousin.”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Yachi never said she had a cousin,” Bokuto said glancing at Akaashi who sighed and said, “yes she did Bokuto-san, many times actually.”

You chuckled as Bokuto began whining about how Akaashi addressed him so formally all the time.

Once the cups were set up, the game was underway. Right off the bat, your opponents were scoring many more points. It wasn’t that shocking to you because you were pretty sure it was your first time actually playing the game. What did shock you, however, was how quiet Terushima remained. Despite not speaking much, you could tell he was still watching you closely. You decided just to ignore it and enjoy the game.

Towards the end of the game, you were certainly feeling tipsy. This was the most you had drunk in a while, but you were having a lot of fun. You remembered you hadn’t seen Yachi in a while, but since you’d met so many of the team players, you figured you’d be okay without her for now.

Bokuto sank the last cup, causing the room to erupt in cheers, all but Akaashi who just smirked at his friend in admiration. _Damn, that smirk could kill a girl._ The thought felt silly, but you attributed it to the alcohol.

“Alright losers! You lost, now chug your drinks!” Bokuto yelled as he pointed at you and Terushima. Before you could deny having another drink, Terushima pointed at the cup he brought you earlier. _Shit, the beer Oikawa sent._ _Alright, but this will be the last one._

Taking a deep breath, you geared up to the chug the warm beverage. It went down a lot easier than you thought, but you did notice how it tasted a bit different and probably would’ve been better chilled.

“That was great [Y/N], at least we know you can drink. Come play us when you get better at throwing,” Bokuto smiled.

Laughing, you thanked the boys for the game. Making eye contact with Akaashi one last time, you couldn’t help the color that rushed to your cheeks when he shot you another genuine smile. _If you thought his smirk could kill, his smile was something else._

Enjoying the energy of the room, you decided to linger by the couch against the wall of the room. You didn’t realize, but Terushima followed you over.

“You might be cute, but you suck at beer pong,” he said once he stood next to you, both of your backs leaning against the wall.

“Well, you didn’t have to play ya know?” You fired back. The liquid courage was definitely lighting a fire under your ass.

The look on Terushima’s face turned much more menacing once he realized you were playing into his banter. “You were a damsel in distress, you should be thankful to your knight in shining armor,” he said nonchalantly leaning back against the wall.

As you turned your entire body to look at him, suddenly the room felt like it was on a merry-go-round. The comeback you had planned drifted away and you felt like you couldn’t say a thing. Actually, you weren’t even sure if you could move anymore. Your hands and legs felt numb, then heavy, and you felt your body slump on top of the arm of the couch that was now thankfully behind you.

“Shit, that was fast. U-uh, [Y/N], hey come on, stand up,” Terushima said, a bit of panic peeking through in his voice. He was so close to you, but he felt like he was miles away. Honestly, you weren’t sure if he was even in front of you anymore.

Something was wrong, very wrong. You weren’t a drinker, but you’ve been drunk once or twice. This wasn’t drunk. You were fine three minutes ago, and now you couldn’t even stand. “W-w-what. Di-Did. You D-Do?” You managed to spit out before you fell over leaning your right side against the wall, your body entirely limp.

Tears were starting to well up as you got genuinely scared. Did Oikawa really send that cup to you, or did Terushima do something to it on his way here? Where was Oikawa anyways? Where was Yachi? She’d invited you here but wasn’t with you for more than five minutes the whole night. You were sure tears had to be streaming by now, but you couldn’t feel them.

Suddenly, you saw your left arm fly up around Terushima’s neck while what you assumed was one of his snaked around your waist. You had lost all control, he could do anything he wanted with you now, and you guessed he probably would. All he had to do is make it upstairs to where the rooms were.

As you started to see your feet move against your will, you prayed someone would see you slumped in his arms and know something was wrong. You also figured your prayers were in vain as the house was pretty dark, except for the various party lights in the different rooms. There were so many people too, how would anyone see the two of you walking around in the crowd?

When you got to the stairs, Terushima practically had to carry you up, your entire body refusing to move. You must’ve been crying pretty hard now because your cheeks had hot streaks on them, and you tasted salt in your mouth.

Once the two of you got to the landing, you heard a noise, and then Terushima suddenly let go and spun around rapidly. The absence of his support caused you to crumple into a ball on the floor behind him. You smacked your head and for a second you were thankful you couldn’t feel much because it was a hard hit. There was a lot of yelling going on, but you couldn’t tell where. Despite your head feeling like it was a thousand pounds, you managed to tilt it just a little to change your angle. Everything was so blurry, for a moment, you only saw spiky, raven black hair. But it was quickly followed by silver, brown, and an ever-familiar blond tuft.

“Ch-Ch-Chiiii,” you slurred out in a sob from your position on the floor. Things started moving so quickly after that. There was yelling and lots of movement. Your drugged brain couldn’t register anything specific. It was ok though; you were going to be ok. Yachi had promised she wouldn’t let another guy hurt you like _him_ again, and she meant it. She was protecting you, and she had backup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I bounce around between using honorifics and not, I just kinda use them when I think it fits the character. There is no formal reasoning behind them.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. The Next Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's read so far! You'll notice I am just kinda updating randomly. I'm trying to do a chapter every couple of days, hopefully I can keep it up! 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> MW

The pounding inside your head was expectedly the worst when you woke up the next morning. Massaging your temples, you finally opened your eyes after a few minutes of lying in darkness. From the hue of light coming through the blinds, you could tell it was early. Everything felt heavy, and your mind still felt fuzzy from the night before. With bits and pieces slowly coming back to you, you were swarmed with a mix of emotions. You were angry at Terushima for trying to take advantage of you, and grateful for Yachi and her friends for rescuing you, but mostly you were just embarrassed that you had made such a commotion.

_I guess I will never be coming back to the volleyball house._

Suddenly you were very aware that you weren’t in your own room. Despite protests from your pounding skull, you bolted upright on the futon where you were laying. With your eyes darting around the room, you confirmed it didn’t belong to you. _Somebody must have put me here to sleep it off,_ you realized since you were fully clothed in everything you had worn the night before, and there was a blanket across you.

Close to where you were sitting, there was a tall glass of water, some Advil, and your purse. You accepted the first two graciously and grabbed your phone out of your purse. It was dead of course. Once your eyes adjusted, you saw the large bed across the room. As quietly as you could, you forced yourself to stand and walk closer to the bed. Stifling a gasp, you recognized Suga asleep, and there was someone else with him! Upon closer inspection, you saw the pieces of short brown hair sticking out from under the comforter.

Turning your attention back to the room, you took a few brief moments to look at the walls. You saw a lot of volleyball mementos and a few things with the name “Daichi” on them. Giggling to yourself, you guessed this must be the Dai-san that Suga mentioned earlier. Like puzzle pieces clicking together, you realized Dai-san must’ve been on the team, which would make Suga his roomma… boyfriend!. As you were finishing the latter word in your head, you glanced down at the nightstand to see a selfie of Suga and Daichi. Suga was flashing his contagious smile, and Daichi was turned, planting a kiss on the side of Suga’s head. It was an adorable photo actually. _Idiot, of course they are dating, what two roommates share the same bed._ You wanted to smack yourself for not making the discovery sooner.

Next to the photo, the alarm on the nightstand confirmed that it was just after 5:30. Since it was a Saturday, you figured if you walked home now there wouldn’t be many people out to witness your walk of shame (if you could even call it that). Sighing, you decided the embarrassment of a few strangers seeing you would be less than that of the entire volleyball house.

Grabbing a piece of paper nearby, you wrote a note to Suga saying thanks and giving him your phone number so you can thank him properly later. After that, you folded the blanket on the futon and grabbed your shoes and purse to slip out the door. With a soft click, the door was shut, and you started down the stairs.

You were on the last two steps, about four feet from the door when you heard, “You could be a little lighter on your feet if you’re trying to sneak out.” The unexpected voice caused you to gasp loudly and jump, resulting in you slipping on the last step. Landing on your butt, you groaned at the additional pain to your already aching body.

“Shit sorry, I thought you heard me walk up,” the guy said through a mouthful of cereal as he crouched down next to you.

“If I want any tips on sneaking up on someone, I’ll be sure to ask you,” you mumbled under your breath. With nobody around, you felt a little more comfortable letting your hidden attitude show. _This guy was like a damn cat,_ you thought as you started to pull yourself back to your feet.

The boy stood back up when he realized who you were and grabbed his cereal off the banister. With a chuckle, he said, “well I can certainly see why Terushima was so taken with you, a smart mouth you got there.”

You immediately shot him a glare, “Terushima didn’t even know me, we barely even had a conversation. He was just playing some sick joke.” Instantly you were annoyed that the team even tolerated Terushima when he did shit like drugging girls for sport.

Like he was reading your mind, the boy responded, “Yeah, Terushima can be a real dick sometimes. He thinks he’s being funny, but half of the time we want to beat the crap out of him for the stunts he pulls. Honestly, this doesn’t make it right, but he wouldn’t have even done anything to you. He would’ve just put you in his room so you could sleep, and he could lie to his friends saying he got some. The guy’s a coward like that.” The last sentence was said with a casual shrug like he’d said it one hundred times before.

It was supposed to make you feel better but thinking that Terushima did it just to impress his friends made you even angrier, “whatever, it’s still messed up.” You turned to leave.

“It’s a little chilly out there, why don’t you take a hoodie?” The guy said before taking another bite of cereal.

You looked back. He was tall and his dark hair sat disheveled on his head like he had just woken up. _Well, he probably had, but what was he doing up anyway?_ Weirdly enough, his hair looked familiar, but you were pretty sure you had never met. Glancing down from his hair, you saw he was wearing black workout shorts and a black shirt underneath a red track jacket. Your eyes betraying you as you noticed how snug the clothes fit on his large stature.

_How many players live in this stupid house?_

Almost like he was reading your mind once again, “There are 10 of us in the house, we have a road run this morning at 6:30, so the rest of the guys will be up soon. If you’re really trying to sneak out, I would hurry, but take this.”

Bending down next to the stairs, he pulled something out of a bag and threw it at you. You caught it, but the shock of something flying at you caused you to take a step back into the door behind you. _Shit,_ you winced at the bang your boot made against the door. The boy in front of you cocked his head to the side and smirked, trying to contain a small laugh.

Moments later, you heard one of the doors upstairs open and close with a familiar-sounding click. Being exposed sneaking out in front of one volleyball player was enough, the thought of the whole team catching you sounded mortifying.

“Th-thanks, I know Yachi, I’ll get it back to you,” you glanced between the boy and the steps as you fumbled with the entrance of the hoodie.

Once you got your head in, you turned to open the door before you could fully pull the hoodie down. Since you were rushing and doing so many things at once, you managed to smack your face with the door when you got it open. The boy you were talking to was bent over in a full-blown hyena-like laugh as you finally managed to stumble out the door. You looked back once more, sticking your tongue out at him as you closed the door behind you.

Basically running down the street, you decided you’d take some of the back alleys to your apartment. You didn’t know where the team did their “road run” but you definitely didn’t want them to run into you on your walk back.

Ten minutes later you reached your apartment. Throwing the door open, you kicked your shoes off. Walking over to your small bathroom, you took a second to glance in the mirror. _Thank GOD only one of the teammates saw you this morning…_ Looking at yourself in the mirror made you realize that you looked just as horrible as you felt. The rest of your day would probably be shot as you would just spend it hungover in bed.

Striping the clothes off your body, you stepped into the shower while it was still cold, giving a shock to your exhausted system. When you finally got out, your fingers were starting to prune. Standing in your towel, you went to pick the hoodie up off the floor. Turning it over in your hands you realized you never even learned the guy’s name. Thankfully for you, there was a name on the inside tag.

“Kuroo, huh?” You said to nobody. Admittedly, the hoodie was very soft and comfortable. Pulling it back over your head, you decided you’d wash it before giving it back. That way, nobody would ever know you wore it all day. 

You don’t know what possessed you to do it, but suddenly your hands were grasping the material and pulling it towards your nose. It smelled clean, but there was also a warm and spicy scent that seemed to hit your nose. It was definitely pleasant, no doubt about that.

Burying your face in the hoodie one more time, you couldn’t help but think about how _his_ hoodies never smelled like that, and they were never that soft. Matter of fact, _he_ only ever gave you the old hoodies he didn’t want anymore. You shook the memory out of your head.

_Why does everything remind me of him?_

_____________________________________________

**~POV: inside the Volleyball house~**

Terushima was the last to walk down the stairs and into the kitchen in the morning. The bruise under his eye significantly darker than it had been the night before. Everyone’s energy in the room immediately shifted uncomfortably as there was clearly unresolved tension. Some of the teammates kept their heads down in their breakfast, others kept their attention on getting ready for their run.

Kuroo was leaning against the counter, arms folded across his chest, glaring. Nearby, Daichi was standing, even more visibly angry. A dark aura seemed to be radiating off his body. The two co-captains were certainly upset with their teammate’s behavior the previous night.

Terushima refused to make eye contact with either of them. Recognizing this, Kuroo coughed, trying to gain his attention. Everyone in the room was on edge, waiting for the bomb that they knew was about to explode.

With a sigh, Terushima pulled a granola bar out of the cabinet and bracing himself to break the tension. “Listen,” he began loud enough for everyone to hear, “I didn’t think she was going to chug the drink in one go. I thought she would just do something stupid to embarrass herself if she drank enough. How was I-”

“See, the thing is, you shouldn’t have put anyTHING in anyONE’s drink to begin with,” Kuroo interrupted. Daichi was beginning to visibly vibrate with anger. Kuroo continued, “I thought that punch of mine would’ve knocked some sense into that tiny brain of yours. If I hadn’t already been watching your sleazeball ass all night, you would’ve made it all the way upstairs with that girl.”

Finally turning around to face them, Terushima said, “-Tsk, you keep telling yourself that. I know you had your eyes on that girl all night. You’re the one who’s the real creep, watching people from the shadows.”

“What the fuck did you just say,” pushing off the counter, Kuroo started to make his way over to Terushima. Thankfully, he was stopped by the firm grab of Daichi.

Kuroo did have a habit of using his catlike instincts to look out for his teammates while they were drinking. He always looked after his teammates, whether it be on or off the court. That was one of the reasons he was made a co-captain. But the truth was, he had seen you multiple times that night. It wasn’t like he was watching you, but he had definitely kept his eyes on you as well. He admitted to himself that it was a combination of both that allowed him to catch Terushima walking you up the stairs last night.

“I wasn’t going to do anything with her, maybe just scare her a bit,” the last part of Terushima’s sentence trailed off as he realized how awful it sounded out loud. If he truly intended to drug a girl just to mess with her, he was probably a bit too drunk last night.

“Terushima,” Daichi said with a frightening sternness, “I have half a mind to report you, and if you weren’t a senior, I’d have three-quarters of a mind. So, you better explain what the hell you were thinking last night.”

After an extended silence, “I wasn’t ok, sorry.” The last part came out under his breath.

“Nobody in this room needs to hear your apology. That girl needs to hear your apology. If she reports you to the police, all of our futures are on the line. How could you be so selfish? Can’t you take anything seriously?” Daichi was really letting him have it now. Though he was only speaking the truth, and he voiced a lot of the concerns that the rest of the team was already thinking. Daichi always considered his teammates, which was one of the reasons that he was made the other co-captain.

After Daichi’s rant, Akaashi spoke up, “her name is [Y/N]. Quit addressing her as ‘that girl,’ it’s rude.” Everyone stared at him blankly, shocked that the stoic boy had interjected. Akaashi just shrugged at Bokuto who was giving him a side-eye and went back to finishing up his stretches. Clearly, he had said his piece.

Bring the attention back to the previous conversation, Daichi continued, “Kuroo and I came to an agreement, what you are going to do is reach out to [Y/N], apologize to her, and offer to make it up to her anyway you can. But you’re also going to tell the coach that you fell on your face and are now injured. You’re going to sit out the next few practices until our upcoming game.” Some of his poise returning to his voice now that he had gotten his thoughts off his chest.

“But then I can’t play in the game!” Terushima retorted.

“Yeah that’s the point nimrod,” Kuroo added with a scoff. “We might make you sit out a few more, depending on how nice we feel in the upcoming week. And if you ever pull this shit again, we won’t hesitate to get you kicked off the team and out of the school.”

Terushima was visibly defeated, but he didn’t argue after that. He did have some sense, and he knew he went too far. The juice was spiked in such a small ratio that it really didn’t impact any of the girls who drank it. But he definitely put way too much in one drink for one person.

Daichi added, “Oh, and you’ll apologize to Suga when we get back because he stayed up practically all night making sure you didn’t kill [Y/N].”

A nod was given from Terushima in agreement. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he knew he was lucky she just passed out instead of dying in her sleep.

Now that some of the tension seemed to be resolved, many of the boys were back at ease. Side conversations were even starting to take place about the previous night’s events.

“Alright boys, time to run. Let’s go!” Kuroo encouraged, getting everyone on their feet and heading towards the door.

_________________________________________________

Blinking your eyes open, you realized falling back asleep had helped with nausea, but your headache still raged on. With a groan, you rolled over to check your phone. The first thing you saw was the time. It was somehow already midafternoon. The second thing you noticed was that you had several notifications. Some were from your mom who always called you on Saturdays, some were from Yachi, and a couple were from numbers you didn’t have saved.

Unlocking the phone, you saw that one of the numbers belonged to Suga. He had basically text bombed you, asking how you were and apologizing for the night before. It was sweet that he felt the need to apologize when you were the one who caused a scene. Checking the other number, you couldn’t help but question your phone out loud, “HUH?” Apparently Terushima had gotten your number (from either Yachi or Suga, you weren’t sure) and wanted to apologize. It was actually a very long and thought out message about how he wasn’t intending on doing anything, but he recognized he took the joke too far. _That is was Kuroo said this morning,_ you thought but you still weren’t sure if you entirely believed him. He also asked if there was anything he could do to make it up to you.

Staring at your phone for a second, you eventually threw it back down on the bed with a groan, “Ugh, I just want to forget last night even happened.” You decided you'd just accept his apology and tell him you didn't need any compensation. Actually, maybe you'd just make him promise to never do it to anyone again. _As if that would actually work._ It felt like you were letting it slide, but he was the last person you wanted to see/talk to, so you decided this was the best option.

Before falling asleep earlier, you considered whether or not you should try and file a police report. You figured if you did, the process would be unnecessarily long and draw a lot of attention to yourself. Since he didn’t do anything to you physically and because the drugs might already be out of your system, you would have little to no evidence. So, you decided that if you ignored it, everyone would just forget anyway. It was horrible that it happened to you, but there were also people who were there to help you. You were beyond thankful to those people.

Thinking of your rescuers reminded you that Yachi had asked you to call her. Picking your phone back up, you dialed her number.

“[Y/N], oh my god. Are you ok? How are you feeling? Can I get you anything? The guys feel so bad about what happened last night. Did Suga text you? Do I have permission to kick Terushima’s ass because you know I will?” Yachi’s questions came at a mile a minute.

“Chi calm down. I’m fine, I’ve just been trying to sleep away this awful hangover. And yes, Suga texted me apologizing, but I am the one who feels bad and embarrassed.”

“Really? Why?” She asked, but then answering her own question, “Ohh, you feel bad that you made people fuss over you, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” you responded almost inaudibly.

“Hmm. Well, I have a solution; one I think you’ll agree to. Why don’t you have Suga, Daichi, Kuroo, and me over for dinner tomorrow? You can make your vegetable curry!”

You did love cooking; it was actually one of the things you did to relieve stress. You were about to agree when the second to last name registered, “Wait Kuroo? Why him?”

“Oh, well I guess you were kinda incapacitated,” Yachi said, realizing that you probably didn’t remember the events from the night before. “Kuroo was the one who actually saw Terushima dragging you up the stairs. I was chatting with Daichi and Suga when we saw him take off for the steps, so we followed. He also punched Terushima in the face for you,” Yachi added smuggly.

“HE DID WHAT,” you basically yelled into your phone. That must’ve been his head you saw first, which would explain why his hair looked so familiar. As if you weren’t embarrassed enough, now you were coming in between the team because you were stupid enough to accept a drink from a stranger. What bothered you the most was that you didn’t even know the Kuroo, so why he would get into a physical altercation with a teammate just to defend you?

“I can practically hear the gears turning in your head, [nickname]-chan,” Yachi said. “Don’t overthink it. He and Daichi have been getting sick of Terushima’s behavior lately. What he did to you was just the last straw, don’t freak.”

After chatting a little bit more, you finally agreed to cook dinner tomorrow. It did make you feel better to think you’d be able to do something for them in order to say thank you. Plus, you could give Kuroo his hoodie back, after you took it off and washed it later of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say, although our reader in the story chooses not to report what happened to her, if this ever happens to you or anyone in yo know, you should tell somebody. Also, please don't be mad that I choose to have the other guys give him their own punishment instead of reporting him. Mostly it's for the story, but unfortunately, that kind of stuff happens in real life. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!


	4. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, this one took me a bit longer to write because I didn't have it as planned out. Hopefully, I'll get ahead on writing again! Enjoy the chapter and thanks for all the kudos!
> 
> MW

You ended up spending the majority of the day Saturday trying to sleep off your hangover. While you felt miserable, it was still somewhat nice because you could relax and catch up on some of the anime you’d been watching. In between episodes and naps, you did manage to clean the apartment and prep everything for dinner the following day.

Now that it was Sunday, you wanted to spend the time before dinner working on some outfit designs that needed to be submitted by the end of the week. You also had a few interviews coming up, and saying you were less than prepared was an understatement.

Rather than staying in your apartment and getting distracted, like you were sure you would, you chose to walk a couple of blocks to your favorite coffee shop. Throwing on some leggings and a loose-fitting sweater than hung off one shoulder, you decided being comfortable today would help you work better. Grabbing your bag and keys, you headed out the door.

For some reason, smells always had the greatest impact on your mood. Smelling the air in the fall or after a thunderstorm always calmed you down. Smelling lavender detergent on your sheets at night always helped you fall asleep. But the smell of coffee as you walked through the doors of a coffee shop always seemed to give you laser focus.

After ordering your favorite hot drink, you walked over to the four-top table in the corner. It was the best table because it was secluded, and you could face your back to the door. This kept you from being distracted by entering customers. There were also windows on the wall above you that let in a lot of natural light, which made you feel more comfortable. 

Right away, you were absorbed in your work. Your headphones played soft instrumentals as you sketched away on your iPad (you always preferred making your designs digital because they were easier to modify and organize).

The end of the semester showcase was in about a month or so, and you thought you stood a chance at ranking this year. Getting in the top three would guarantee your spot working as a junior designer at one of the top studios in the nation. This was your year, your sketches had improved, the lines cleaner. Your sewing was eons better thanks to all the practice you’d had at your previous summer internship. Mostly, you just felt more confident in your work.

Briefly, you thought, ‘ _probably because he is finally gone_ ,’ but you shooed it away. You were too focused to think about _him._

You’d been working for several hours when you felt a light tap on your bare shoulder. Even though it was soft, you’d been so concentrated it surprised you.

“a-aAHh,” You yelped, jumping slightly out of your chair as you ripped your headphones out of your ears and turned to see who the ‘attacker’ was.

“Oh, sorry [Y/N] I knew you were working so I tried not to startle you. I just wanted to see how you were doing,” a soft voice said. It was the ethereal boy from Friday, Akaashi.

At first, your heart was beating quickly from being scared, now it was pounding because you realized the two of you just had skin-on-skin contact. _How trivial, I am so stupid._ You thought, trying to bash yourself to prevent the blush from getting any darker on your cheeks.

“I-I’m ok Akaashi, thanks for checking up on me,” you finally replied after what was probably way too long of a pause. It took a deliberate effort to steady your breathing.

“Do you mind if I sit down for a second?” He asked. You nodded hesitantly, a little surprised at his request to join you. He sat with his coffee in the open chair directly in front of you. He was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt underneath a black denim jacket on top. With black jeans that had slits in the knees on the bottom. Mostly you were impressed with his black Chelsea boots, most guys your age didn’t own many shoes other than tennis shoes/sneakers.

_‘So, he looks just as good in dark colors as he does light, of course.’_ The outfit was a stark contrast to what he was wearing at the party, but it still looked amazing on him.

After placing his bag on the chair next to him, he released a sigh and said, “Listen, I am sorry for what happened on Friday. Terushima tends to take things too far. That being said, it doesn’t make it right, are you sure you’re ok?”

You froze momentarily out of shock; it was horrifying to be talking about the situation with Akaashi. Part of you had hoped that nobody else on the team knew about it, but apparently, you were wrong. It was nice he felt the need to apologize on behalf of his teammate, but you felt like he was boring holes into your soul with his apologetic eyes. It was amazing how his eyes could show both ample and minimal expression.

Looking down at your coffee you said, “don’t feel sorry; it wasn’t your fault. Nothing happened, so I am ok. I am mostly just thankful to you all for looking out for me.” In the last sentence, you looked up and smiled at him. It was a bit forced but you hoped it would be enough to get him to drop the subject.

Akaashi just continued to look at you. His eyes radiated such intensity, but they weren’t cruel, just inquisitive. After a while, he must have decided your answer was enough because he just said, “Ok, I am glad to hear you are alright.” To your surprise, he followed up with, “Bokuto is meeting me here before we go study in about an hour, do you mind if I sit with you for a while?”

Butterflies began taking off in your stomach as you thought about sitting with this beautiful boy for a full hour. You internally smacked yourself for thinking like a teenage girl. Sometimes you felt pathetic, you didn’t even know how to sit in a male’s presence anymore.

While you were busy with your internal monologue, Akaashi must have noticed you getting flustered because he smiled at you and said, “It’s alright if you’re busy. I can always see you another time.” ‘ _That damn smile.’_

“N-no!” you practically shouted over the end of his sentence. “Please, stay,” the end of your last word trailing off shyly.

Mentally you wanted to scream. This guy made you so flustered it was mortifying. Embarrassment was radiating out of every pore you had, but Akaashi just stifled a small laugh.

“Alright then, so what are we working on?”

The conversation started uncomfortably, and it seemed like Akaashi had to ask a lot of questions to keep it going. However, eventually, you felt yourself getting more relaxed around him. You even ended up showing him some of your sketches (something you hardly ever did). Even though Akaashi made you nervous, he also made you feel so safe. You never saw judgment in his eyes, only pure interest. Towards the end of the conversation, you were doing most of the talking and he was just listening. Something about his relationship with Bokuto made you think that he didn’t mind.

You were showing him some of your most recent designs when you said, “this is the men’s line I came up with for the fall. I am basically done with the sewing; I just have to start planning the photoshoot so I can put the portfolio together.”

“Oh? What does planning a photoshoot entail?” He threw in, trying to get you to continue talking about your work.

“Well I have to book the location, the equipment, find a model, and get the props!” you said as though you were making a mental checklist to tackle.

“I’ll model for you,” Akaashi said without hesitation.

His suddenness made you lose your train of thought. Cocking your head to the side in confusion you asked, “w-what? You would?” Nerves started filling your stomach again as you never expected him to volunteer for such a thing. You can’t say that you didn’t consider his model-like qualities while he’d been sitting in front of you, but never in a million years would you have asked him to model your designs.

“I love these designs, plus I think it would be fun. But only on one condition,” He said, a hint of play in his voice.

“Okay?” you asked hesitantly, curious about what he would want from you.

Leaning forward slightly he said, “we have a game on Thursday night. Come to the game and I can help you with a photoshoot this weekend.” You could tell by his body language that he was serious. He sat straight with his hands folded around his, probably cold, coffee. His eyes held you locked in place.

Inside your head, memories you had worked hard to suppress came rushing forward at full speed. All the memories of _him_ and the awful way he treated you and spoke to you. The way _he_ would throw you against the walls of the athletic hallway when you would try to comfort him after a loss. The horrible things _he_ would do to you after partying too hard and drinking himself into oblivion after a win. Thankfully he played at a different school, but still, the thought of watching a match brought back those raw memories.

Akaashi saw your face and eyes fall to look down at your coffee again. “I’m sorry [Y/N] you don’t have to come if you don’t want. I just thought it might be fun to watch, we are getting close to tournament time, so the matches are exciting. I’ll still help you this weekend even if you can’t come,” he said reassuringly, extending his hand to brush yours that was holding the iPad. The touch was soft and brief, but when we pulled his hand away, you felt yourself missing the contact. That was the second time Akaashi had made skin-on-skin contact with you, but this time it was more deliberate, you felt your cheeks turning a soft pink.

Forcing your eyes up off your coffee, you looked back at Akaashi. You were determined to stop letting these memories haunt you. They were in the past; _he_ was gone, and you were better now. Plus, even though you just met Akaashi, he made you feel safer than that asshole ever did, even on his good days.

Akaashi saw the fire in your eyes come flooding back, and he flashed his killer smile.

“No, I’ll come,” you said, newfound confidence engulfing your body.

Just then, you heard a booming, “AKAAASHIIIII.”

Akaashi took one last look in your eyes then sighed and let his head fall slightly between his shoulders. He was visibly embarrassed that the entire coffee shop had been disrupted on his behalf. “Bokuto-san, I am over here. Keep it down, you’re being rude.”

Bokuto approached your table, a clear expression of shock across his face as he looked between you and Akaashi. “Well I tried texting you several times, but it seems you’re too busy with [Y/N] to think of me,” Bokuto said as he got closer. 

Although the comment seemed like a joke, there was also a trace of bitterness in Bokuto’s voice. Almost like he was genuinely upset.

You tried to greet him, but he only hummed and gave you a short nod of his head in reply. _Strange,_ you thought, _he seemed pretty friendly at the party._ You weren’t entirely sure what the deal was, but it was certainly off-putting.

“Alright, I’ll see you Thursday, [Y/N],” Akaashi said, quickly gathering his things to go to his study session with Bokuto.

You waved goodbye to both of them as they left, but Akaashi was the only one to return the sentiment. Bokuto gave you one last stare before looking away and tossing a, “let’s go ‘Kaashi,” over his shoulder as he walked off.

After they walked away, you took a second to analyze the strange way that Bokuto looked at you. It was similar to the way a dog looks at a stranger who approaches his owner. There was a mix of confusion, curiosity, and protection in his eyes. There was also something else, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was. It almost seemed like anger or sadness, but you weren’t sure why.

The Bokuto you met at the party seemed entirely different than the one who just walked through the door. Though it was strange, you tried to shrug it off and assumed Bokuto was just confused as to why Akaashi would sit with you. You couldn’t blame him, you were also.

Either way, you were glad he did because after he left, you felt very strong. His invitation had brought back terrifying memories but instead of letting them send you into a full-on panic attack (like they normally did), you overcame them. You had come a long way and you were proud.

“I guess I am going to watch some men’s volleyball,” you said under your breath, putting your headphones in and trying to regain your previous focus.

___________________________________________________

Not long after Akaashi left to study with Bokuto did you leave to start cooking dinner. Cooking always helped put you in a better mind space, as it was something you often did when _he_ decided to pick a fight with you.

Even though you enjoyed it, you were always nervous to cook for someone else. If it was bad, you would feel sorry for your company. If it was good, well, receiving praise wasn’t your thing, so it just made you uncomfortable. But the dinner tonight wasn’t about you, it was about thanking those people who had helped you out of a tough situation.

As you were finishing up the meal, you heard the knock you had been expecting. Opening the door, you were greeted by Yachi, Suga, and Daichi. Before you could ask where Kuroo was, Yachi addressed the question while barreling past you towards the stove.

“Kuroo can’t come tonight, he’s busy or something. But he said to give him a raincheck,” she said as she sampled your meal.

“Oh, ok.” You weren’t disappointed, you would just have to thank him another time. But of course, that required you to bring up what happened at least one more time which made your chest feel tight.

“Chi don’t put the spoon back in the food after you licked it, disgusting,” you said, thankful for Yachi and her immature actions. They always seemed to be enough to pull you out of your head.

After chastising Yachi for her childish behavior, you turned your attention to the boys.

“[Y/N] This is Daichi, my boyfriend! I know you haven’t formally met yet,” Suga said while radiating happiness.

“It’s nice to meet you Daichi, thank you again… for everything. Sorry that I caused such a fuss,” You said, turning your attention to your shoes. An ever-familiar anxiety was beginning to build up inside you. It felt embarrassing to say out loud, but those who helped you needed to know how grateful you were. You truly owed them, and saying you were sorry was the bare minimum.

Extending an arm out to grab your shoulder, Daichi said, “no, I apologize for what Terushima did. I can promise you that as captains, Kuroo and I are enforcing his punishment. We appreciate your kindness, and we will work to make sure he never pulls a stunt like this again.” His touch forced you to shift your eyes upwards towards him. When your eyes met Daichi’s, you saw a very comforting kindness.

The apology was genuine, you could tell. It was almost funny that he seemed more upset about the situation than you were. Clearly, he took his role as captain very seriously. Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, you thanked him again and ushered the boys inside.

The smells coming from the kitchen were heavenly. You definitely knew how to work some magic with spices, you just weren’t used to sharing your work with others.

“Wow, it smells amazing. Where did you learn to cook [Y/N]?” Suga asked as he stepped inside your apartment.

Deciding it was best to not give the real answer for how you obtained your talent, you settled on saying, “oh you know, I just picked up a few things from YouTube videos.”

Apparently, it was less than convincing because neither boy seemed entirely sold by your answer, but they didn’t press on. _Good_ , you thought as you grabbed drinks from the fridge. The last thing you wanted to do was raise red flags so people would start asking questions.

______________________________________________________

The dinner was amazing, it was probably your best curry yet. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, and you had a lot of fun talking with Daichi and Suga. Although, you were grateful for Yachi’s presence because if the conversation ever died, she always knew how to give it new life.

The more you got to know Suga and Daichi, the more you realized they were like the parents of the team. It was very adorable actually. It also made you laugh thinking that if those two were the parents, what did that make Kuroo? He was another captain after all. Suddenly you _were_ feeling disappointed that he wasn’t present.

Pulling you out of your thoughts was Yachi’s voice, “[Y/N], I know I’ve asked you a hundred times, but will you please come to a volleyball game? We have one Thursday. It’s going to be a good match, so it’ll be exciting.”

Yachi had asked you many times to come to see a game. In the past, _he_ never let you. _He_ was always protective and manipulative, and he didn’t want you watching other guys. Then after you broke up, the games were a reminder of him; a painful one.

_‘Better late than never,’_ you guessed as you began to tell her that you already planned on coming.

“W-wait what? You are? OMG, I can’t believe this! Why the sudden change of heart?” Yachi started asking. Both boys seemed genuinely curious too.

“I sat with Akaashi at the coffee shop today and he told me about the game. I decided that since I know some of the team now, it might be fun to watch,” you said trying to play it cool.

“Hmmm, so Bokuto let Akaashi off his leash huh?” Daichi said in a way that seemed genuinely surprised.

“Daichi, enough,” Suga reprimanded. You just looked at the two of them with a confused expression. ‘ _A leash? I mean I could tell they were close but were they together?’_

Yachi must’ve sensed your questions because she began explaining, “Bokuto is very protective of Akaashi, he really doesn’t let anyone get too close to him.”

Your stomach dropped slightly. “Oh, so they are together? That would explain the look Bokuto gave me earlier,” you said trying to sound unbothered.

“Well, they aren’t together, technically. I think Bokuto would like them to be, but nobody really knows what Akaashi wants. They went to high school together, so they are childhood friends. I just think there is more to the story than any of us know,” Suga said like it was a conspiracy theory.

You had to admit, you were curious. You’d only met them twice, and you were never really paying attention to see if they acted like a couple. Bokuto did seem standoffish towards you in the most recent encounter, but Akaashi didn’t. ‘ _Maybe he was just being friendly?’_

You didn’t want to get too involved because it really didn’t matter. You weren’t in the market for looking, plus it’s not like you would stand a chance with Akaashi anyways…

…Even though you felt like those words were the truth, it still hurt you to think them. Thoughts like that were remnants of the damage done, you knew that. Though it still didn’t stop you from believing them. Your self-image would need some work if you were ever going to put yourself back out there again. 

Pushing some food around on your plate, you sighed to yourself. ' _Right now is probably not the best time to worry about that,'_ you thought. Turning your attention back to the group, you got sucked into another ridiculous conversation Yachi started. 

_________________________________________________

The rest of the night included some board games and charades. You ended up having a lot of fun with everyone. Part of you hoped that “Dai-chan” liked you as Suga said he would when you first met. The two of them were very sweet and you hoped you could finally start to make some new friends. It was exciting, you truly were starting to feel happy again, at least for now.

After everyone left, you finished cleaning the dishes and got ready for bed. Just as you finished brushing your teeth, you remembered you threw a load of laundry in the dryer earlier that morning and had forgotten.

Running down the stairs to the basement, you hoped nobody had pulled your stuff out of the machine. Some of your neighbors were savages and didn’t tolerate those who left their laundry in the machines past their time. Unfortunately, it happened to you a lot and you were always humiliated when your underwear was scattered across the counter for the whole building to see.

With a sigh of relief, you saw your laundry was still in the dryer. Pulling it out, your hand grabbed the hold of a familiar hoodie. _Shit Kuroo’s hoodie, I forgot to give it to Yachi._

Frustrated, you groaned, now you’d probably have to give it back to him yourself when you saw him to apologize. Stuffing the rest of the clothes in your basket, you thought about how the soonest you’d see him would most likely be after the game Thursday.

Although it was annoying, waiting that long would give you plenty of time to plan and rehearse an apology. That way you could try to minimize any humiliation.

After getting back up to your apartment, you folded and put your clothes away. Exhausted you threw yourself on your bed. Reaching for the hoodie sitting on your nightstand, you pulled it to your nose again. _How the hell did it still smell like him even after I washed it_ , you thought. The smell was very… soothing. It made you feel at peace.

_One more night wearing the hoodie can’t hurt,_ you thought as you slipped the hoodie on and crawled into your warm bed. You prayed he’d never know how much you’d worn it since he lent it to you. If he did, your plan of avoiding shame during your next encounter would certainly shrivel up and die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok y'all I am sorry I am a fat simp for Akaashi. I promise the other characters will make their way into the story too. It will kinda be like two or so encounters a chapter from now on. I am still working on my plan but I like where it's going. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. The Workout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reading! I hope you're enjoying it thus far! 
> 
> This was a hard chapter to write because I really wanted it to kinda explain in what ways our reader is truly struggling. I hope it sheds some light on that. 
> 
> Anyways, I have been working on it for several days I am happy with how it turned out! Happy reading!
> 
> MW

A frenzy of work consumed you in the next couple of days. Some days you completed your tasks quickly and efficiently with little complaint, but today was not one of those days.

It was Wednesday and since it was mid-week, you were hoping you’d be almost finished with the majority of your assignments. However, the universe must have had it out for you because that definitely was not the case.

First, your iPad crashed, meaning you’d have to take it to get fixed so that you could finish your sketches (this was the downfall to using technology rather than a sketchbook). You always saved your work to the cloud, so you knew you wouldn’t lose them, but it was still frustrating because you weren’t able to work on them all day.

Second, as you were putting finishing touches on some of the styles for your shoot with Akaashi over the weekend, the sewing machine jammed at least 10 times. While this would be a minor inconvenience to most people, to you it meant you had to seam rip and re-stitch the clothing every time it happened. The whole process was time-consuming, which meant you didn’t finish that work yet either.

Third and finally, now that the game was tomorrow, you were getting increasingly more anxious about going. Even though you thought you’d be alright, it seemed your body was disagreeing. The anxiety you had was starting to present physically, which was always a bad sign. You were nauseous all day, your hands were persistently clammy, and your throat felt tight; all signs of a looming anxiety attack.

That was the cherry on the cake. The first two things, though they were annoying, they were manageable/forgettable. The last, no matter how hard you tried not to associate a silly volleyball match with the person who hurt you, you couldn’t. That pissed you off, it made you want to cry more than you already did.

In times of stress like these, you typically opted for some sort of workout. Like cooking, it was a coping mechanism you picked up when _he_ treated you like shit. Actually, it was something you picked up when he would make comments on your appearance. He was such a perfectionist, that he would even threaten to break up with you if you didn’t meet his expectations for what you should look like. He certainly wasn’t afraid to point out how awful you looked if you forgot to wear makeup or wanted to wear a hoodie instead of something cute. So, working out started as a very unhealthy habit of trying to please him, but since then you’ve been trying to turn it into something you did to please yourself.

Because today was particularly overwhelming, you geared yourself up to do one of your hardest workouts – stairs. The football/soccer stadium at your school had a nice set of bleachers and usually remained empty when there wasn’t a game going on (you hated going to the gym because you always felt like people were watching you). Jogging up and down them a couple of times always got your heart racing, and usually you were proud to complete a difficult workout.

Putting on some athletic leggings and a quarter-zip jacket, you threw your headphones in your ears and ran out the door. You liked jogging over to the stadium because it was close to your apartment, so it was always a good warm-up.

Since it was late October, the air was brisk now that the sun had started to set; it felt good on your lungs. You could feel your cheeks starting to sting, and you could see your breath as you ran. When you reached the stadium, it was empty save one or two people walking the track.

_Good, they probably won’t even notice me struggling,_ you laughed to yourself as you geared up against the tall set of bleachers.

“Fuck today,” You said out loud as you started jogging up the stairs at a respectable pace.

Though you started strong, eventually the workout turned into more of a walk/run. After about twenty minutes you looked down at your watch. It had still been a good workout despite not running the entire time. Since you would probably jog back to your apartment, you decided to stop your workout and take a break once you got to the bottom of the bleachers.

When you reached the bottom, you placed your hands on your hips and took in several deep breaths. Your legs were burning, so eventually, you plopped down on the bottom row to continue catching your breath. By now, it was dark and only a few of the stadium lights were on, so you couldn’t see much. Since you stopped moving, you began to feel how chilly it was outside. Leaning back against the row behind you, you let your head fall and rest on the cold, metal surface.

The workout was intended to clear your mind, but now that you were sitting there, exhausted, shivering, and alone, you scoffed at how all you did was make your external feelings match your internal ones.

For some reason, you felt like the challenges of the day were the universe’s way of confirming all the horrible things _he_ made you believe about yourself. That you were meant to fail or that you wouldn’t be successful on your own. Or maybe just telling you that you’d never recover from your previous relationship _._ That your experiences would constantly be holding you back, and you’d never be able to move forward.

Suddenly your eyes were burning from holding back tears. Since you were by yourself, you decided it was ok to let them fall down the sides of your face. They felt warm as they fell across your temples and into your hairline, a nice contrast to your cold skin.

Because you were still looking up at the sky and because you’d started to whimper slightly with your tears, you didn’t hear the soft steps approaching you in the dark. “Well you are certainly a sight for sore eyes in those gym clothes,” a voice said.

The unexpected sound of their voice startled you. Gasping, you found yourself slipping off the bleachers onto your butt in an attempt to put some distance between you and the potential kidnapper who had just approached.

Wiping your eyes quickly and getting ready to run, you realized it was none other than Oikawa standing in front of you. Letting your tense muscles relax slightly, you barked from your position on the ground, “what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you sneak up on a girl who’s alone in the dark? And then have the audacity to make a creepy comment about what she is wearing?”

Extending a hand Oikawa said, “Oh calm down, if I truly was going to attack you, I wouldn’t have announced myself at all. Also, it’s not a creepy comment, you just don’t take compliments well.” When he grabbed your hand, you couldn’t help but notice again how soft it was.

After helping you to your feet, he sat on the bench where you just were and asked, “what are you doing out here anyway?”

“You were the one who commented on my clothes, obviously I was working out. I should be the one asking you what you’re doing out here since you’re wearing jeans,” you snapped while brushing some dirt off your leggings.

“Yikes, what’s with the attitude today? Also, pretty sure crying doesn’t count as working out your eyes. And I’ll have you know, I decided to walk the track so I could do some thinking,” Oikawa bit right back, but with more of a playful tone. You could definitely understand why Kageyama would get so annoyed with him, he was infuriating.

You were about to turn and walk away when you gave Oikawa one last glance. He was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped together. His shoulders were also sagging slightly. Despite the way he was speaking, his body language told you he wasn’t the confident Oikawa you met at the party.

Letting your empathetic nature get the best of you, some of your anger vanished as you sat down next to him and asked, “Thinking about what?” There was still a mild touch of annoyance in your voice.

“Oh, now you’re concerned? Two seconds ago, you were basically calling me a pervert,” he laughed, taking advantage of the lightening mood.

“Okay, dramatic,” you said. “But fine, don’t tell me if you don’t want to.”

He looked at you for a second, his eyes darting around your face searching for something. Almost like he was looking to see if you actually cared if he told you or not.

“Well how about I tell you what I am thinking about if you tell me why you were crying?”

Your body went stiff. He had already said that he saw you crying, but you just planned on not addressing it. You knew exactly why you were crying, but you didn’t think you could say it out loud. “I-I just had a shitty day, that’s all,” you said nervously as you turned your head to face away from the brown-haired boy.

“Mmm, I see,” Oikawa turned his head also. “What if I start, and then you can go into more depth about this shitty day of yours,” he turned back to you and tilted his head slightly. Something was weighing on him. His eyes looked like they were begging for someone to listen to him.

You just nodded slowly, signaling it was ok for him to go on.

After releasing a big sigh, Oikawa let his head fall between his shoulders for a second before picking it back up. Looking straight ahead again, he let out, “I think I am in love with my best friend.”

“O-oh, okay, so what’s she like,” you inquired. You were a little surprised he was opening up to you about something so deep, but you figured he just needed to vent.

He laughed, “Ha, well **he** is mean and nasty, and somewhat irritating. But he’s also handsome, and strong, and brave, and confident.”

You couldn’t help but let your jaw fall slightly. It wasn’t that you cared, but now you were really surprised. You and Oikawa just became acquaintances, but he was trusting you with this? ‘ _What the hell is with this guy? Why is he telling this to me?’_

Suddenly you began to wonder if you were the only person, he had confessed that too. You considered how it probably was easier to tell that to someone who didn't know you yet than someone who thought they knew you very well; your heart began sinking for him.

Oikawa looked at you and since he noticed you were too stunned to speak, he continued, “don’t get me wrong, I notice other people.” He said the last bit and gave you a once over, scanning your body in a way that made you shift uncomfortably under his gaze. “It’s just that I feel connected to him so deeply. I am so drawn to him and being around him feels… different. More special or meaningful, maybe? I just feel like I am always my most authentic self with him.”

“C-can you tell him that,” you finally willed yourself to speak.

“That’s what I am out here thinking about. I’m not sure if I can. We’ve been friends since we were kids, we even used to play volleyball together in high school. If I tell him how I feel and he rejects me, I can’t bear to lose him or our friendship. The thought of not having him in my life forever makes me want to quit living it.”

“But what if he feels the same way,” you asked, turning your body so you were straddling the bleachers and facing Oikawa. You were hooked on the conversation now, it felt like something out of a romance anime.

“I don’t think that’s a risk I am willing to make,” Oikawa answered, his voice cracking at the end. Since you were close, you could see the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.

Blinking them away, he quickly changed his demeanor to a more cheerful one. “Actually, that’s why I vanished on you during the party. Iwa-chan doesn’t play volleyball anymore, but he’s getting his degree here. When I went to go get you a drink, he showed up and I was basically attached to his side. Sorry I wasn’t there to protect you from nasty Terushima. He’s a pain in the ass,” he said, leaning back on his arms and letting his head fall to the side to glance at you out of the corner of his eye.

Though you were impressed by his ability to change attitudes so quickly, you were once again humiliated that last Friday’s incident was being brought up. You facepalmed and groaned loudly, “UGH! Why does everyone keep apologizing to me? I am fine, nothing happened. It’s not anyone else’s fault, I was the one who was so stupid; I just – I don’t want to talk about it anymore!”

Caught a little off guard, Oikawa hesitated but turned to straddle the bench the same way you were. Now facing you, he said, “you know that you have no reason to be embarrassed right? It wasn’t your fault either. People were just worried about you, it’s a good thing.”

“I’m not worth worrying about,” you grumbled under your breath and dropping your gaze down to the metal beneath you.

Oikawa let you both sit in silence for a second before saying, “Okay, so is the person that made you think that the real reason you’re crying?”

You looked up, Oikawa’s eyes were firm, one eyebrow was raised curiously; he saw right through you. Despite this only being your second time meeting, Oikawa already trusted you, and in return learned so much about you without you realizing. It was like he had spent time analyzing you like he would volleyball film. He was starting to truly _see_ you, and you were afraid of the things he would notice.

Feeling exposed under his gaze, your bottom lip began quivering as the waterfall of emotions you were holding back finally came rushing forward. Throwing your face into your hands your sobs started quietly but eventually turned into loud wails.

Suddenly you felt pressure behind your back as Oikawa had slid forward and began pulling your head against his chest. This time, you didn’t jump away from his touch. He held you there, softly stroking your back while you cried tears into his soon to be wet jacket.

Very few people knew what you had gone through with your past relationship. Even Yachi only knew bits and pieces. You hated talking about it, you knew how it changed people’s perception of you. The stories expose your weakest and most pathetic sides, you hated all of them. Normally you would’ve never considering bringing any of it up to Oikawa, but the weight of everything was suffocating you today.

Maybe it was the warmness of his breath on the top of your head, or maybe it was the way his hands made small circles on your back to calm you down; but suddenly, at that moment, you felt the fear of Oikawa truly knowing you begin to fall away. Oikawa’s sincerity made you feel like if you told him what happened to you, he wouldn’t judge you or berate you for staying with someone so horrible to you. You felt like he would truly just try and listen instead of feeling sorry for you. _‘Maybe this was how he felt about me?_ ’

When your crying slowed, you began to pull yourself away from Oikawa’s firm yet comfortable chest. He released you, but he didn’t scoot backward; your knees were close enough to be touching. Looking up at him, you saw such kindness in him. Underneath his arrogant persona that he showed to others, you could see that his true self was caring and gentle. You wouldn’t have imagined it, but you were thankful that he showed you.

As you sat quietly, he didn’t rush you. He just patiently waited to see what you would say.

Dropping your gaze again to the small bit of bleachers between you, “I was crying because I am broken and I don’t think I can ever be fixed,” you said softly, hot tears threatening to spill over again.

Oikawa let the silence linger for a moment before lifting his hand to your chin. With his thumb and pointer finger, he lifted your head upwards to face him. “First of all, if you keep looking at the ground, nobody will ever get a chance to see how beautiful you are,” he said while tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. The whole interaction made you blush uncontrollably.

“Second of all, you’re not broken. At this moment, you are supposed to be exactly as you are. And who you are tomorrow is exactly who you should be. You don’t need fixing, you’re perfectly you, and no matter what happens to you, it’ll always be this way” he said, a warm smile spreading across his face.

Feeling yourself getting choked up again, you closed your eyes and tried to will the tears away. “I don’t want to be who I am today. I hate the way I am. The way I doubt myself and my future. The way I doubt my appearance and talents. The way I forgot how to trust, how I can’t let anyone in no matter how hard I try. I’m fucking broken,” voice cracking at the end, you forced your eyes open and let the tears stream down your face again.

With the same hand that he used to tilt your head upwards, Oikawa slowly wiped a tear away. “Well you just opened the door for me, didn’t you?”

Pausing, you looked at him, the stadium lights illuminating the soft smile on his face. He was a very handsome man, you had to admit. You mentally poured one out for all the women (and probably men) who would swoon over him while his heart belonged to another.

Turning away, embarrassed by your thoughts, you said, “Yeah. I guess I did, didn’t I?” The corner of your mouth turning up a bit at the realization. **‘** _Well, I definitely didn’t think one of the first people I’d opened up to about this stuff would be Oikawa.’_ Even though it was unexpected, it was potentially a step in the right direction.

Maybe you were making progress? Maybe today was just a bad day, those were allowed, right?

Looking back at Oikawa, you don’t know what compelled you, but you lunged forward and grabbed the boy in a giant bearhug, nearly sending the two of you toppling over.

He was so much bigger than you were, his hug felt so secure.

“Gahh, whoa. Take it easy there, you’re gonna mess up my hair, I can’t go and confess to Iwa-chan looking like garbage,” Oikawa stated very matter-of-factly.

Reacting quickly to his comment, you pulled back, “Wait you’re confessing??”

“I guess you could say you inspired me… I want to let him in,” Oikawa said with a shrug as he stood up. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

Helping you to your feet, Oikawa pulled you into a hug one last time. Now that he was standing, you got a clear picture of how much taller he was than you as your head fell in the center of his chest.

“What was that for?” you asked when he let go.

“If all goes well, that was my last hug being single and I wanted to confirm that I didn’t have any unresolved sexual feelings towards you,” He said over his shoulder as he threw a hand up and began walking off.

“HUH, unre-unresolved… HUH,” you yelled back, your face a bright shade of red. You began looking around frantically for something to hide behind.

Oikawa stopped and turned around, “Ah, there’s the easily flustered [Y/N] that I know and love. Now come on, let’s get you home before a creep gets you,” waving his hand, he signaled you to follow him.

Reluctantly, you started walking. “Ugh, the only creep here is you… Shittykawa,” you groaned, recalling Kageyama’s nickname for the boy.

“Really? You too with the mean nicknames? Can’t a guy catch a break?” Oikawa jested back.

_‘Today might’ve been a really bad day, but it got better.’_ You said to yourself as you looked at the back of the tall boy’s head in front of you. You didn’t have many friends since _he_ used to push you away from people. But now, it seemed like you were starting to make a lot of really good ones.

__________________________________________________________

You didn’t realize how drained you were until you walked into your apartment. Now you were not only physically tired but emotionally drained after your conversation with Oikawa.

As you showered and got ready for bed, you decided you’d take a couple of minutes to relax before falling asleep. While something random played on the tv in the background, you scrolled through your phone mindlessly. You didn’t realize how many notifications you’d missed since being out.

The first ones you tackled were texts, most of them again being from Yachi and your mom. Those two always worried about you the most and when you didn’t reply within 30 minutes, they would text bomb you thinking you were in a depressive state.

You responded to your mom, apologizing for not texting back, and explaining what took you so long. Mostly you did it just so that she wouldn’t worry about you, it’s not like she cared what you were doing, you were an adult anyways.

Next, you shot Yachi a text, confirming that you were still on for lunch tomorrow in between classes. Both of you agreed you’d grab food so that you could talk about how you were feeling about going to the match. Yachi was always so good about letting you open up even though you hardly did. When you didn’t, she was still always there for you.

Lastly, you had gotten Oikawa’s number so he could update you on the ‘Iwa-chan’ situation. You texted him so he had your contact and reminded him that he promised to tell you what happened. After this, you bounced over to Instagram.

You and social media had a strange bond. In your past relationship, you were forced to delete most social media apps. After the breakup, you redownloaded them, but your posts were pretty outdated. You had been too nervous to update them out of fear of other people judging you or commenting on your extended absence.

Popping into your notification screen, you realized you had a couple of new follow requests. Clicking on them, you saw that they were from Suga, Oikawa, and…. Kageyama? ‘ _Well, that’s kinda random. I only spoke to him at the party.’_ You thought as you made the executive decision to mention it to Yachi at lunch tomorrow.

Putting your phone down, you rolled over and shoved your face into your pillow. You were conflicted. You had met some great people, like Oikawa, Akaashi, Suga, and Daichi. But it was also overwhelming. It felt like too many people were starting to get a glimpse of you and you weren’t sure if you were ready.

‘ _Tomorrow will be the real test I suppose,’_ you thought as you turned out the light on your nightstand and let sleep overcome you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if you were reading for the OikawaxReader possibility. As much as I would love for them to end up with all of the beautiful Haikyuu boys, that just isn't how I wanted this story to go. I hope that doesn't ruin it for anyone!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Before the Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I wasn't able to do a lot of writing this week. But I spent some time planning when I was able to hopefully the next few chapters will go up a little quicker. Thanks to everyone who is reading and enjoying the story. I love seeing the Kudos and comments on this piece. I am having fun with it, so I hope you are too!
> 
> Happy Reading
> 
> MW

In the morning, you woke up to the sound of your blaring alarm and a text from Oikawa. In your groggy state, you were a little confused as to why he texted so late (or early was it?), but then quickly remembered it was probably an update on what happened.

**Sent from Tooru Oikawa at 2:31 a.m.:** I guess you’ll have to wait and see… ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Though slightly annoyed he wouldn’t provide more details, you assumed his playful text was a good sign.

**Sent from You at 7:07 a.m.:** Boooo, you’re no fun (ง'̀-'́)ง

As you typed your response, you tossed your legs over the side of the bed so that you could get up and start your day. The plan was to run some errands before your first class then you could meet Yachi for lunch. After lunch you had two more classes then you would work on assignments until the game. Since you were going to see a lot of people throughout the day, you decided to wear something casual but cute. You settled on high-waisted jeans with a black graphic tee and a long white cardigan. You finished the look with some black hi-top sneakers, a black bag, and a belt.

It was comfortable, but it still looked presentable and appropriate since your school colors were black and white. You weren’t the most spirited person, so you didn’t have much college apparel. Though it wasn’t really a problem since the colors were so basic.

Packing your bag for the day, you were sure to grab Kuroo’s hoodie. ‘ _I can’t forget to give this to him later,’_ you thought as the annoyingly persistent warm scent reached your nose.

You spent the majority of the morning in the Apple Store, waiting for your iPad to be fixed. After that, you headed out to your first class. You were thankful to be keeping busy. It allowed you to avoid the lingering anxiety. You had made a decision; you wanted to watch the game tonight. You wanted to support Yachi and the boys. You were going, but it still made you feel perturbed.

When lunchtime rolled around, the pit in your stomach grew bigger as you knew Yachi would be asking questions. That was the whole point of getting together anyways. You felt physically sick when you gathered your things to leave class. Trying to keep your composure, you counted your breaths throughout the entire walk.

The number reached 194 by the time you arrived at the little café. The distraction had helped ease your nerves a bit, so you were feeling better. Glancing around you saw Yachi sitting in one of the booths with her back facing you.

“Hey, Chi,” you said plopping down in front of her.

Not seeing you approach, she jumped a little. “Geez, [nickname]-chan, don’t sneak up on me like that.” She was playing with her phone before your arrival, so when you got there, she locked the screen and put it to the side. However, you couldn’t help but notice her blush slightly when looked down one last time.

‘ _Strange,’_ you thought, _‘definitely will have to address that.’_

As the two of you enjoyed your meal together, you filled Yachi in on what had happened the night before (of course leaving out Oikawa’s confession because that was his business to tell, not yours). She was shocked at the amount of information you told Oikawa, but she also seemed happy that you finally are starting to open up.

“Just don’t go thinking you can replace me with Oikawa, okay?” Yachi threatened with a mouth full of food while pointing her fork at you.

You chuckled to yourself, “Oh, you’re irreplaceable, that’s for sure.” Your answer must have been acceptable because she just shrugged her shoulders and went back to chewing.

The two of you talked about other random gossip while you finished eating. It was nice to be able to just have some girl talk, it seemed like it had been a while. Of course, she also brought up the dreaded topic of the game later. Your palms started sweating as you told her your decision and she was happy to hear it. She pointed out that you seemed to be making a lot of steps in the right direction and you were thankful that she didn’t linger on the topic for long.

As the conversation began to slow towards the end, you remembered something you wanted to tell Yachi.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, “Kageyama followed me on Instagram, isn’t that weird?

Yachi was taking a sip of her water while you said it, and she immediately began choking. “H-he w-what?” She managed to get out between coughs.

You cocked your head to the side, you expected her to be confused, but she looked mortified.

She slammed her elbows on the table and threw her head into her hands. “Ugh, it took him almost four years to even try and follow me on Instagram. I mean, of course, he probably thinks you’re pretty, how could he not? Why meeeee,” she began rambling at nobody in particular.

Thrown off by her comments, you began floundering to come up with excuses. “Chi, there’s no way he thinks that he probably just had my name pop up in his suggested or som-“ you stopped mid-sentence.

Something clicked in your head. It was like that scene from Ouran High School Host Club where the lightbulb blinks and turns on when each boy figures out the main character is actually a girl. Your lightbulb turned on and you nearly shouted, “Do you LIKE Kageyama!?”

Ducking her head under arms she hissed, “[Y/N]! Quiet down! We aren’t that far from campus; other students are in here and everyone knows Kageyama!” Her old shy tendencies were starting to rear their heads.

You were feeling a mix of astonishment and disbelief. First, you were shocked that you didn’t already know. Yachi was typically so forward about her feelings, a stark contrast from you. Throughout high school, she had the biggest crush on Shimizu Kiyoko, ironically the other team manager. She was so obvious about it that it was almost painful sometimes. But eventually, Yachi realized that Kiyoko didn’t feel the same way, and she was just as obviously devastated.

Second, you were confused about why she hadn’t already told you. Just then you realized she probably felt she wasn’t able to tell you, and your heart sank into your stomach. You clasped a hand over your mouth briefly before letting it go and continuing, “how long have you felt this way?”

She slowly began to sit up again, “I dunno, maybe like a year or so. We were really just friends all through high school but during our freshman year of college things just changed for me. I started paying more attention to him and thinking about him.” She was fidgeting with her hands, a nervous tick she developed a long time ago. “But I only acknowledged the feelings a few months ago!” She tried to add as she saw you getting visibly upset.

You felt horrible. The past several months, you were consumed by your drama, and Yachi was there every step of the way. You hadn’t even taken the time to check on her or listen to any updates in her life. She had been tolerating your one-sided relationship all for your sake, it made you sick. ‘ _How could I be so horrible?’_

“I’m so sorry Yachi,” you squeaked out as a knot caught in your throat. You felt like a terrible friend, let alone a family member.

“[Y/N], no, stop. Don’t get upset, there just hasn’t been a good time to tell you yet,” she seemed cheerful, so you knew she wasn’t mad. It still didn’t make you feel better. “Actually, this might be perfect timing,” she continued while nervously brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. “We’ve been talking a lot more recently and we’ve even been texting. It’s mostly about volleyball, but sometimes it isn’t,” she included.

‘ _Oh, maybe that’s what she was doing on her phone.’_

“I-I’m so sorry Chi,” you dropped your hands to the table between you and extended them to her. “I’ve been so caught up in everything since the breakup I haven’t been there for you. I’m the worst,” you said as you grabbed her hand.

“Please, [Y/N], don’t feel bad. You’ve had a lot going on, and that’s ok. A silly crush of mine is nothing to beat yourself up over. Plus, how were you supposed to know. After everything with Kiyoko, I’ve been trying to be more discrete about my feelings,” Yachi said turning away as she blushed. Even though she was friends with Kiyoko now, mentioning her crush on the older girl always seemed to fluster her.

Releasing her hand, you decided you wanted to atone for being unavailable for the past months. “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” you asked.

“No, it’s ok,” she said nonchalantly. You mistakenly let the silence linger for too long as she exclaimed, “WAIT.” Her face was filling with excitement, and it made you uneasy. She paused before continuing, “hear me out… what if we went on a double date of sorts?”

You didn’t mean to do it, but you instinctively let a look of disgust spread across your face. Yachi quickly noticed and continued trying to explain her idea.

“It doesn’t have to be like that! Please! You said anything! I don’t think Kageyama would hang out with me alone if I asked just yet, but if you came with someone else, it might seem more lowkey!” She was giving you the worst puppy-dog eyes you had ever seen, but you could tell she wanted you to say yes.

Throwing your head back on the back of the booth, you let out a grunt. “Ugh. Yachi, you know how I feel about dating right now. Plus, who would I even ask?” you asked as you sat back up.

“I know, I know, but that’s the thing, its ambiguous enough to not have to be a deliberate date. And I would ask them, so you wouldn’t have to!” Yachi said, her smirk starting to gain a glint of mischief.

“That still doesn’t answer my question, who would be my date?” a shiver went down your spine as you said the last word. You were not ready to date, but she was persistent. You didn’t like anything about the looks she was giving you, but you couldn’t say no just yet.

Yachi leaned back and put her finger on her chin in contemplation. “Well I would say Oikawa, but then Kageyama definitely wouldn’t go,” she said. You grinned to yourself knowing there was another reason Oikawa wouldn’t go. “Bokuto probably wouldn’t go anywhere without Akaashi, and he probably wouldn’t want Akaashi to go himself. Terushima’s for sure a no go,” she included, and you scoffed at the thought.

Pointing the finger resting on her chin up at the ceiling very dramatically she shouted, “I know! What about Kuroo? He’s single and he’d totally go!”

_‘So much for being quiet,’_ you thought as your jaw fell to the floor. Of course, you knew she was going to suggest a volleyball player, but you just assumed she would go through all of them and realize it was a bad idea.

“Chi, no. That’s not happening, I barely know him,” you insisted. Though you’d only consciously interacted with Kuroo once, everything about the guy confused you. The two of you were strangers and he had already gone out of his way to protect you from a teammate and lend you an article of clothing. Not to mention the fact that being near him put you slightly on edge. Honestly, you probably wouldn’t even be able to spend an entire evening together without making a fool of yourself like you had the morning after the party.

Yachi’s face started to melt in disappointment, “That’s why I think it would be good, no expectations. Please, [nickname]-chan. If you don’t go, I may never get a chance to hang out with Kageyama.” Her words were dramatic, but her gestures were even more so as she clasped her hands together and began begging.

You sat there in horror watching the pathetic scene, but a small part of you also understood. You knew what it was like to be head over heels for someone and not care about the consequences. Yachi had been one of the people forced to bear the consequences of your failed relationship. So, you did owe her.

With a sigh, you closed your eyes and said, “Fine, but we aren’t doing anything weird that could be misinterpreted as a real date. It’s a group hangout, that’s all.”

Yachi began squealing with excitement. “Yay! Thank you! Let’s go this weekend, it’ll be so great.”

_‘This is going to be annoying,_ ’ you thought as Yachi went on and on about how much fun you would all have. It’s not that you weren’t happy to help Yachi, especially after not being there for her, you just felt like it would be uncomfortable. Plus, you didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.

Trying to turn the discussion away from the ‘double date’ you interrupted Yachi’s rambling mid-sentence, “I can’t even believe you like Kageyama. The two of you are so different. When I think of him, I see darkness and black, but when I look at you, I see light and yellow.”

Yachi looked at you for a second, she wasn’t offended; she knew what you meant. “Well yeah, I think that’s why I am drawn to him, his personality balances mine. Plus, I already know he is drawn to people like me because his best friend is Hinata! The kid is literally a ball of sunshine!”

_‘Hinata? Haven’t heard that name in a while.’_

Hinata had chosen to go to a different college after high school. Yachi used to always tell you how much she suspected Kageyama missed him. _‘That probably should’ve been the first sign,_ ’ you thought. Though she had a good point, Yachi and Hinata were very similar. If Kageyama was so drawn to Hinata, he might feel that same pull with Yachi too.

“Oh! That reminds me! If we win the game tonight, our team will play Hinata’s team in the first round of the playoffs next week!” Yachi said while beaming with excitement.

“Really? Who does he play for anyways?” you asked out of curiosity.

Yachi looked at you blankly as she searched her brain for the answer. You could physically see her gears sputtering to a halt as she said, “umm, I forget the school name. I usually don’t look at the names until we play them.” You laughed because that seemed very like her to ignore important details until the last final moment. “I think their mascot is a coyote or something?” she waved the thought off like it was unimportant.

You couldn’t blame her, you were never really one to pay attention to names or mascots either, you only knew your school mascot was a Husky because Yachi had mentioned it recently.

“That’s good, I bet Kageyama will be excited to see him,” you stated while staring down at the ice you were swirling in your cup. You tried to remember any schools with that mascot, but you drew a blank as well. Goosebumps spread across your skin as you remembered your ex’s mascot. _‘Thank god it isn’t a coyote.’_

Yachi snapped you out of your daze as she continued, “Yes exactly! That’s why I’ll ask him to hang out if we win tonight. He’ll be in too good of a mood to say no.” She rubbed her hands together like a mad scientist. “Since it’s Halloween this weekend, why don’t we do something for that?” She asked eagerly.

You loved Halloween; it was one of your favorite holidays. Between scary movies, limitless candy, and the ability to be whoever or whatever you wanted, what wasn’t to love?

“Fine,” you grumbled under your breath.

Eventually, Yachi and you left the café and continued with the rest of your day. There were plenty of things that both of you had to accomplish before the game later. As you walked out the door, you wished her luck because you knew you wouldn’t see her until after the game was over. She smiled brightly and shouted thanks as she started walking in the opposite direction.

_‘That girl will be the death of me,’_ you sighed to yourself wondering how she managed to talk you into going on a double date.

_________________________________________________________________________-

**~ Volleyball House POV ~**

Flinging the door open, Yachi stood in the doorway of the volleyball house, panting. Some of the guys heard the noise and poked their heads in from the living room.

“Geez, you could knock. You know this isn’t your home, right?” Oikawa asked smugly as he sat next to Iwaizumi on the couch watching some of the other guys play video games. It wasn’t uncommon to see Iwaizumi in the volleyball house with Oikawa, but Yachi hesitated when she saw them because something seemed different.

She shrugged it off because she was on a mission. “Kuroo, where is he?” she managed to get out between pants.

“The nerd is studying in his room, where else would he be the day of a big game,” Terushima answered with bitterness in his voice. Yachi knew he wouldn’t be playing in tonight’s game, so she assumed that’s why.

Giving him a nod as thanks (even though he was focused on the game and not her), she ran up the steps towards Kuroo’s room. Yachi knew the way because she treated the volleyball house like her other home. This was Yachi’s second year as a team manager was friends with most of the guys from high school, so it was easy to feel comfortable with them. Often they would get frustrated with her for being too comfortable as she would eat their food or overstay her welcome.

When she reached his door, she opened it without knocking. Kuroo’s back was facing the door, and his head was buried in some notes that he was busy highlighting and rewriting. Yachi could see that his headphones were in, and she could almost hear the music from where she was standing.

Assuming he wouldn’t hear her if she said anything out loud, she walked towards him. Leaning her head around his shoulder, she tapped on his back and simultaneously yelled “KUROO!”

The dark-haired boy was not expecting to be interrupted, so he jumped at the intrusion of his personal space.

Throwing his headphones out of his ears he turned in his chair and grabbed onto anything he could “Shit Yachi, don’t sneak up on people like that, I could’ve killed you.” He held a dull pencil at her like a knife.

Yachi scoffed. Kuroo acted tough, and he could be threatening when he wanted to, but he hardly had it in him to kill a fly. “Alright tough guy,” she teased while pushing the pencil down. “But hey I need a favor,” Yachi said, walking over to his bed and sitting on the edge of it to face him.

“What’s up little crow? You finally work up the courage to ask Kags out?” He asked in a jeering tone, probably trying to get back at her for mocking him.

Even though he was kidding, Yachi’s confidence faltered as that was exactly what she was hoping to do. She hadn’t told the guys how she felt about Kageyama, but Kuroo was particularly intuitive when it came to his teams’ emotions. Apparently, Yachi was included on that list as he had confronted her not too long ago about her crush.

Noticing your hesitation, Kuroo went on, “so, you’re really going to do it?” Pushing a hand through his messy hair, he continued, “If you came here for my blessing, you have it as long as it doesn’t mess with the team. If things start to go south and it screws with our dynamics before the tournament, I won’t hesitate to have you switched to the women’s team manager.” There was a sternness in his voice that almost seemed fatherly.

Yachi dropped her shoulders a bit. Kuroo tended to be pretty direct when considering the things that could go wrong. It didn’t do anything to boost her morale, but she continued, “okay, note taken. But actually, I didn’t come for your blessing.”

Kuroo’s eyebrow raised suspiciously as he leaned back in his chair. He knew whatever coming was about to be interesting.

“I actually was hoping you’d come on a double date with me, Kageyama, and [Y/N],” Yachi said hopefully as she began playing with her fingers.

As soon as Kuroo heard mention of your name, he knew he was going to say yes. Ever since the party last Friday he’d been dying to get a chance to talk to you. When Sunday rolled around, he kicked himself that he couldn’t go to the dinner you had made. That night he, unfortunately, had to cram for a big exam on Monday, and he ended up eating his dinner alone in the library. Though he wasn’t too upset as he remembered he gave you his hoodie with the slightest hope that you would want to return it, giving him the opportunity he wanted.

Despite already knowing he was going to go on the date, he could see Yachi starting to get restless so he thought he would have some fun.

“Oya? What’s in it for me?” he asked with a sly smirk plastered to his face.

Yachi cocked her head to the side in confusion, “huh? You get to spend time with [Y/N], isn’t that compensation enough?” Like Kuroo, Yachi took her role within the team seriously and often kept a close eye on the players. She had caught Kuroo staring at you countless times last Friday, and it was her most recent material to torment him about.

“Oh, but that reminds me,” she continued. “[Y/N] said she’s not quite ready for a relationship, so don’t do anything weird. Just think of it as a hangout to get to know her.”

Turning back around in his chair, he grabbed his headphones and said, “Hmm doesn’t sound quite worth it to me, you can’t even guarantee that anything would come of it.” Kuroo didn’t actually care if anything did or didn’t, he just enjoyed teasing Yachi. There was no way he was going to miss out on spending time with you, even if it was entirely platonic.

Standing quickly, Yachi ran back over to Kuroo’s side, “Kuroo, please! When you guys win tonight Kageyama will be such a good mood because he’ll be seeing Hinata next week! There’s no way he’ll say no!”

“Shouldn’t Hinata be your competition or something, I feel like the two of them definitely had a thing,” Kuroo said, he could barely contain the amusement.

With a sigh, Yachi began explaining, “honestly, a lot of people thought that. Ever since they became their freaky duo in high school, they’ve been best friends. Despite their bickering and the fact that he would never admit it, Kageyama cares about Hinata a lot, but not in a romantic way.” She paused briefly before adding, “It’s a lot like you and Kenma!”

Kuroo winced slightly at the mention of his childhood friend. Kuroo and Kenma split up for college, and they’d been too busy to catch up lately. Well, Kuroo was busy which meant that they wouldn’t talk since he was always the one to reach out.

Thinking about it made him realize how much he missed the little pudding head. He couldn’t blame Kageyama for being excited to see Hinata, because he would feel the same way if he got to see Kenma.

Not wanting to give up on the joke just yet, Kuroo looked up at Yachi and asked, “well what makes you so sure we are going to win. This team is good, it won’t be an easy match.”

An evil smirk began to spread across Yachi’s face. Somehow, she thought she gained the upper hand and Kuroo had no idea how.

“[Y/N] is coming to the game tonight, so I know we will win,” Yachi said confidently as she placed her hands on her hips claiming victory.

Kuroo just scoffed and dropped his eyes back to his study materials. “What’s the date,” he grumbled. Yachi was right, there’s no way Kuroo would let the team lose if you were going to be there watching.

“I was thinking we could do something for Halloween on Saturday! Like a haunted house or something,” Yachi stated as she turned to lean against his desk.

If Kuroo wasn’t already on board, he certainly would be now. He loved all things fall; haunted houses included. Trying to pretend like he was unenthused, he sighed and said, “alright fine. Now get off my desk so I can finish studying before the game. And don’t forget to shut my door when you leave.”

Yachi didn’t hear the last sentence because she had jumped away from his desk and begun loudly celebrating to herself. Jumping and spinning around, she yelled, “YES! Thank you Kuroo! You won’t regret it!” Without even a breath in between, she made her way to the door and said, “Oh, and you have to be at the gym in two hours, make sure the boys know.” Yachi then ran out of the room leaving it wide open.

Grumbling, Kuroo got up and went to shut the door. When it clicked closed, he couldn’t help the butterflies that grew in his stomach at the thought of getting to spend a whole evening with you… and Yachi and Kageyama.

“Hell, yeah,” he celebrated under his breath as he walked back to his desk to continue studying. He had to get through this chapter, and the game tonight, then he could focus on you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I am not a Yachi/Kageyama shipper, but after writing this chapter I kinda like the idea. Also if you've read this far, I want you to know that there is a specific character that I want to have our reader end up with. You probably already realized that since more characters are becoming unavailable or taking on different roles. I hope that makes you more curious!
> 
> Also, side note: I don't know why I love having the characters sneak up on each other and catch one another off guard. I feel like I think it's more interesting in my head.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	7. The Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, I've been working on this chapter forever. I also just moved back into school so sorry it's been a while. Hopefully, now that I am here and settled I can get back to writing! 
> 
> btw, thank you for all the kudos and comments! I love reading them. Happy reading.
> 
> MW

The rest of the day went by quickly considering you intentionally locked yourself in the design lab and buried yourself in work. You always came up with your best ideas when you were feeling worried. Really, working hard was something you did in order to distract yourself; it helped you ignore your feelings.

As you were wrapping up the final touches on a sketch, you glanced at the clock and quickly realized if you didn’t leave soon, you’d be late to the game. Just going was causing you enough anxiety, the thought of not being able to find a seat or having to stand in front of the crowd while you looked for one only made things worse. Ignoring the second thoughts swirling around in your brain, you threw your things back into your bag with Kuroo’s hoodie and began powerwalking to the athletic building.

Since your school’s volleyball teams were historically good, you had a gorgeous gym. Located in a newly renovated building, the gymnasium itself was built so that the stands were on a raised platform and the court was down in the center below. It was built with the intention of modeling a colosseum. Obviously, you hadn’t spent much time there, but you had seen photos once or twice.

You were pleasantly surprised to find that the building was a short distance from the fashion and design building, so it didn’t take you long to walk there. When you finally reached it, you momentarily stood outside and took a few deep breaths. Willing yourself to enter, you ignored the backflips that your stomach was doing. _‘I made it this far, I can’t chicken out now,’_ you thought while you pushed the glass doors open.

As you walked into the entryway, you immediately heard the shouts and squeaking of shoes in the distance as the teams did their pre-game warm-ups. All the sounds were disorienting, so you had to pause and take another deep breath before continuing. After shuffling through the halls aimlessly for a few minutes, you finally found the door that would put you beside the bleachers.

To the left of where you entered, there was a section where most students sat, but you knew being a part of that would just intensify your nerves. Instead, you found yourself exactly where you didn’t want to: standing in the front of the bleachers looking for somewhere else to sit.

Almost all the seats were filled. Your apprehension began to grow heavier as you stood with your eyes rapidly darting about. Just as you were about to give up and walk out, a familiar angelic being stood up and began waving at you.

_‘SUGA,’_ you basically shouted to yourself as you sprinted up the bleachers towards him.

When you reached the boy, you had to wiggle past some people to get to where he was in the center of the stands. He was already seated, so you plopped down next to him and set your bag at your feet. You let out a sigh of relief as you let your shoulders fall as your body relaxes a bit.

“Hi [Y/N],” Suga greeted you with his normal cheer. “Yachi told me you’d be coming and that you might be feeling overwhelmed. I saved a spot for you just in case I saw you, so this is perfect!” he said giving you two thumbs up.

You were so grateful to have seen Suga that you could’ve kissed the smiling boy. He always seemed to be there when you needed him most. _‘Maybe he really is an angel,’_ you questioned as you thanked him for saving you a seat. You also made a mental to note to thank Yachi later for mentioning something to him.

“Why aren’t you in the student section?” you asked Suga as you began scanning the gymnasium.

“Too crowded, plus I like the view here better,” he answered with a shrug as he turned back to the court. You followed his gaze down to Daichi just as he was receiving a practice serve. _‘I see…’_ you thought. Placing a hand to your mouth, you tried (and failed) to muffle the giggle that came out.

Suga turned to you and shoved you slightly as he teased, “heyy, don’t laugh at me! If you can watch those boys in those jerseys _without_ feeling your body heat up, I think you need to reevaluate your sexual orientation, sweetheart.”

Normally, you would’ve been incredibly uncomfortable by Suga’s blunt comment. However, the way his face took on a grave look triggered deep laughter within you. During your outburst, some eyes started to turn towards you which made you quiet down a little.

Catching your breath, you nudged Suga back and turned your attention to the court. You weren’t sure if he was doing it on purpose, but Suga’s presence was helping you feel more at ease.

To be completely honest, the uniforms were also a great distraction. Warm-ups were almost over, so most of the guys had their jackets off. The jersey top was mostly white with some black accents on the sides and collar. The shorts were the opposite, they were mostly black with white strips. The jersey colors and designs weren’t anything special, it was the cut and fit that was the most eye-catching.

You felt the warmth spread across your cheeks as you admired how snuggly the sleeveless top fit most of the guys. All of them had different builds, but you could tell they were in great shape. Even from up in the stands, the contouring of their very well-defined arms was visible.

It also didn’t help that the bottoms had a shorter inseam, so they sat basically midthigh on everyone. Some would even say that the view of their toned thighs was even more enticing than their arms. You were embarrassed to admit that your eyes lingered a bit too long on some players. Suga was right, those jerseys did something to your insides that you weren’t proud of.

Your mouth was practically watering, and you couldn’t help but feel like an idiot. Yes, you had seen other volleyball teams play, but you never took the time to really focus on what everyone was wearing. Glancing at each player, you came to the conclusion that the team was basically constructed of Greek Gods.

_‘I can see why there are so many fans here,’_ you thought as you turned your eyes towards the crowd in an attempt to get ahold of yourself. It was Suga’s turn to giggle now as he had seen look away with flushed cheeks.

Ignoring him, you remained focused on the crowd. There were a lot of who you assumed to be family, but you also saw a lot of students as well. You also laughed to yourself as you saw plenty of groups of girls holding signs with various names of players. The most common ones unsurprisingly being for Bokuto, Kageyama, Kuroo, and Oikawa.

This time Suga followed your gaze to the signs. With a chuckle, he said, “Yeah, these boys have a pretty big fan club. Thankfully most people know that Dai-chan is already taken, but you should’ve seen the hordes of girls I fought off in our first couple of years,” he finished, jokingly throwing up two fists in front of his face like he was about to go boxing.

You gave him an amused grin, but slowly the smile fell from your face as old memories flooded your mind. Suddenly, you remembered your ex and the way other girls would go for him. He hated when they would yell things in the middle of a match, but he would love when they would swarm him afterward. You weren’t brave enough to tell them off, and he liked the attention too much to make them stop. Eventually, you found out that he had even had his way with some of the girls behind your back. While it devastated you, you initially let it slide because you were too afraid to confront him.

Exhaling softly, you wished you were more like Suga, you had a lot of admiration for him. He was kind yet very strong and confident. He was calm yet outgoing. He was a lot of things you weren’t, and it made you feel a bit jealous.

“You okay?” he asked sweetly, bringing you back to reality. Before you could answer the sharp and familiar whistle of the referee blew. Giving him a quick nod, you turned to the court. You were here, _he_ wasn’t, and you would enjoy the game.

Down below, the teams began getting ready to be introduced. While they walked to their end of the court, you watched as many of them had a very serious demeanor. For some of them, like Akaashi and Kageyama, this was expected. But it surprised you to see some of the others so stern. Even Yachi was standing on the sidelines with her arms crossed and a slight scowl on her face.

Once all the pre-game formalities were over, the starting six took their place on the court. The line-up consisted of Oikawa, Akaashi, Bokuto, Daichi, Kuroo, and Kageyama. Of course, Nishinoya replaced the middle blocker who was in the back row.

Thankfully because of your history, you knew a decent amount about how the game was played. Because of their positioning, you figured they were having both Akaashi and Oikawa set.

What was confused you though was that Kuroo and Kageyama seemed to be playing the middle blocker position? _‘I could’ve sworn Yachi said that Kageyama was a setter,’_ you thought as you glanced at the bench. That’s when you noticed Terushima planted on the end with an angry look on his face.

Leaning over to you, Suga said, “Kuroo and Daichi are making Terushima sit out this game as punishment for what he did. He’s been playing middle ever since he came to college, so that’s why Kageyama is in for him and not setting.”

_‘Serves him right.’_

“How do the setters work when Kageyama is in his normal position?” you asked curiously. There seemed to be a lot of setters on the team and you wondered how the team dynamic operated.

“Well, typically he and Akaashi shuffle around based on who is playing their best,” he answered.

You thought about that for a moment, “this might be a stretch, but is Kageyama hostile towards Oikawa because of his permanent spot as a team setter?”

“Bingo!” Suga exclaimed. “Oikawa will call himself Kageyama’s ‘mentor’ basically implying he’s superior and Kageyama has something to learn from him. Really his position has more to do with age and experience, and that’s why it gets on Kageyama’s nerves.”

Your lips formed an O as you silently nodded in understanding and turned back to the court.

The Huskies (your team) had won the coin toss, so Daichi was getting ready to serve. When he walked to the back of the court, Suga grew quiet and gave him his undivided attention. As if in slow motion, the referee raised his arm and blew his whistle, signaling Daichi to serve.

After a brief second, Daichi threw the ball up and made strong contact. The loud noise echoed through the gym as the ball flew across the net. He had aimed right to the spot where the opposing team’s setter was transitioning, which blocked the view of the defensive player behind them. By the time Daichi’s serve was seen, it was too late. The opponent couldn’t get his arms behind the ball properly, and the ball ricocheted off their platform into the bleachers.

Cheers erupted in the crowd, and the boys celebrated their first point. When the cheers started to die down, Suga bolted up from his seat. Standing on one leg, he bent the other like a flamingo. Throwing one arm in front of him and the other behind him, he screamed, “DAICHI, ONE MORE! NICE SERVE!”

Your mouth fell open, and your hands instinctively went to cover your face. It was loud enough and perfectly timed to gain the attention of almost the entire gym. Your face turned bright red from secondhand embarrassment.

When Suga started to sit down, you slowly dropped your hands from your face. “Why’d you do that?!” You asked Suga frantically, still embarrassed.

“They were too tense. Look at them, they are all relaxed now,” he said pointing out at the players.

Looking down at the court, Daichi was laughing and shaking his head while he prepared to serve again. He was unphased by the whole event, and honestly, he looked a little proud. When you went to look at the other players, your eyes were instantly met with cat-like ones. Kuroo was looking over at you, and you could’ve sworn you saw him grin before turning his attention back to his opponent when the whistle blew again. You shivered when he turned away, for some reason his look made your skin crawl.

After that, the game went on with little interruption. The more you watched, the more comfortable you felt. Slowly your anxiety fell away as you were sucked into the match, too distracted to think of much else. It was impressive how talented everyone seemed.

Players like Bokuto, Kuroo, and Oikawa brought power and strength. Others like Akaashi, Kageyama, and Daichi brought calculation and poise. Each player was like a gear in a machine; when all of them were turning together, they seemed unstoppable.

Ultimately, they won the match, but the entire game was well played. The other team had definitely held their own and even gave the boys a run for their money on several occasions. At one point you were afraid Suga was going to pass out from holding his breath so long as he waited for your team to score.

Shortly after the match ended, the entire stands got up to either leave or go congratulate the boys who were lingering on the court. As you stood, Suga grabbed your arm and began pulling you down the bleachers, “come on! Let’s go tell them ‘good game!’”

You barely managed to snatch your bag off the ground as he forced you through the crowd. “Suga, wait! Slow down!” you encouraged as you neared the steps that would lead to the court.

Once you got down the stairs, Suga took off as soon as his feet touched the wood flooring. In the distance, you could see him enveloping his larger boyfriend in a hug. _‘Okay, cute,’_ you thought to yourself.

Looking away, you realized you felt a little bit uncomfortable standing alone. Yachi seemed to be nowhere in sight, and most of the guys you knew were busy with their own conversations.

Awkwardly, you scanned the court again. Off to your left, you saw Oikawa standing with somebody who was dressed like one of the athletic trainers. When you looked a little closer, you saw he had a student badge and figured it must have been one of the interns.

The boy was very handsome with brown spikey hair, and a stony expression on his face. Since Oikawa hadn’t been injured during the game, you were confused as to what they were talking about. You considered walking over to say ‘hi’ when you saw Oikawa lean down and whisper something in the shorter boy’s ear. When he pulled away, a blush was spreading rapidly across the stranger’s face as he grabbed Oikawa’s arm and led him towards the double doors at the end of the gym.

You watched them curiously the whole way, your brain failing to make the connection as to who the boy was. It finally clicked when you caught a glimpse of the two turning towards each other and their faces nearing one another as the double doors closed behind them.

_‘oh….. OH!’_ You gasped to yourself. Realizing that must’ve been Iwaizumi, you immediately felt guilty for having intruded on their intimate moment. You ripped your eyes away from the door, _‘Shit, I need to go stand somewhere else, I seem like such a creep just staring.’_

Turning quickly on your heels, you spun around and took a step forward without looking. Instantly you walked right into something tall and sweaty. It was so unexpected that it caused you to lose your balance and fall backward. You closed your eyes and braced yourself for impact as you were sure you were headed for the floor. Thankfully, you felt two hands on your elbows and your body lurch upright as the person you ran into grabbed you.

The momentum forward threw you right into their chest again, but this time you stuck there. Slowly looking up, you were mortified of who you would see. “[Y/N], are you okay? I saw you standing here and wanted to say hello. I didn’t think you would turn around so fast, I’m sorry,” Akaashi explained.

Underneath his gunmetal gaze, you were stuck in a trance for a moment. You stood, once again admiring how handsome he was. He was glistening in sweat from head to toe, but the way his perfect skin reflected the artificial gym lights made him look mythical. It took everything you had in you to keep your eyes planted on his face to prevent them from wandering down his body. Of course, you’d already seen him from a distance, but if you saw him up close you thought you thought the view would melt you instantly.

It wasn’t until he said your name a second time that you realized you were still pressed against his slightly damp front, staring blankly at him while you tried not to think of his glistening muscles.

“Ah, shit. Akaashi, I’m fine. Thank you for catching me,” you pushed yourself away from his chest and started to bow in order to hide your pink cheeks.

Akaashi laughed quietly to himself. “No worries, I am just glad you didn’t fall.” As you stood back up, he continued, “Thank you for coming to the game, what’d you think?”

Appreciative of the change in topic you said, “Oh it was amazing! You all are such great players! I had so much fun watching.” It was the truth, by the end of the game you had felt completely comfortable being there and you even found it enjoyable.

Akaashi gave you another soft smile, and you could’ve sworn you felt your knees go weak.

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to come to another then,” he added.

You couldn’t resist the heat in your face anymore, so you dropped your eyes to the floor and agreed, “yeah, I guess so.” Slowly you started fidgeting with your hands. You could tell his eyes were on you, watching you carefully. It made you want to shrink away.

After what seemed like hours he spoke up, “so, now that you held up your end of the bargain, I need to hold up mine.” His voice seemed very sincere, so you turned back to face him. “When are we doing the photoshoot?”

“Oh! R-right. I actually don’t have class tomorrow, are you free?” you asked hesitantly. It was last minute, but you were able to get everything ready for the shoot earlier. You figured getting the pictures done sooner rather than later would be best.

“I could do tomorrow morning, the team has practice in the afternoon,” replied Akaashi.

That was perfect. Morning lighting was always better anyways for photos. “That’s fine. Can you meet me outside the athletic building at 8 am?”

“Can’t wait, I’ll be there,” Now it was Akaashi’s turn to get flustered as he immediately turned his head away giving you a great glimpse of his jawline.

You were starting to feel nervous when you heard a loud, “Hey, Hey, Hey!” Just then, the familiar owl-like man threw his arms around Akaashi’s shoulders. Akaashi didn’t protest, he just folded his arms and let the larger man lean on him.

“Where’s that we are going ‘Kaashi?” Bokuto asked with a sour grin on his face while shooting you a glare with his eyes.

Akaashi avoided the question by saying, “Bokuto-san, you shouldn’t interrupt people when they are in conversation.” Bokuto seemed a little annoyed, but he just shrugged it off.

“So, I am starting to see a lot more of you around. What are you, a creepy stalker or something?”

“Bokuto, enough,” Akaashi snapped as he finally tossed Bokuto’s arm off his shoulders. Bokuto quickly gave him a dejected look, but when Akaashi didn’t turn to acknowledge his pouting, he continued to scowl at you. When you looked to Akaashi, he just gave you an apologetic look and shook his head slightly.

You were at a loss for words. You weren’t really sure at what point you had offended Bokuto and in that moment you felt like his eyes were threatening you. Wanting to ease some of the tension, you finally gained the courage to speak, “actually, Yachi has been asking me to come to the games for years, I was only just able to recently. You were really amazing Bokuto!” The praise felt like a last-ditch effort, but it was honest, he was an incredible player.

Bokuto’s face twisted in a satisfied way as he laughed loudly before continuing, “well you can’t be the team’s ace if you aren’t the best! Isn’t that right ‘Kaashi?”

“Yes Bokuto,” is all that Akaashi said, but Bokuto began beaming from his indirect compliment. He even started doing his own little celebration dance. You couldn’t help but notice the way Akaashi’s lips curled upwards as he rolled his eyes and watched his friend’s antics.

You laughed a bit to yourself as well. Thankfully the mood felt a bit lighter now.

Once he finished his charade, Bokuto turned to you again and said, “well thanks for coming [Y/N], I’m glad you got to see a good match as your first game.” Most of the venom was gone from his voice now. “If you don’t mind though, I’ll be stealing Akaashi. Secret setter-ace duo meeting, ya know?” At the end of his sentence, he winked. You nodded to both of them and said goodbye as they walked away.

_‘Damn, that guy can switch moods instantly.’_

After they left, you felt a little relieved. The fact that Akaashi hadn’t told Bokuto that he was helping with the photoshoot left you unsettled. You didn’t want to come in between something, especially since Akaashi was spending time with you for a school project, not personal reasons. Your brain began racing nervously as you contemplated how to fix the problem you were clearly causing for Bokuto.

Instinctively, you pulled the bag you were holding to your chest as a way of comforting yourself. Being up close to your face, you smelled the warm scent coming from the inside.

_‘Ugh, I still have Kuroo’s hoodie, and I have to thank him,’_ you realized. Searching the gym, you quickly saw Kuroo’s messy hair surrounded by a group of girls. They were all laughing loudly about something. From where you were standing, it looked like Kuroo was giving them one of his mischievous smirks. _‘Tch, typical. As if this scenario couldn’t get any more uncomfortable, now I have to watch him flirt.’_

Walking over, you decided to stand a little way behind the group and wait for the girls to leave before talking to Kuroo. Before you pulled your phone out and tried distracting yourself, you took a second to steal a glance at Kuroo.

He too was glistening with sweat and had a towel draped around his neck. His messy hair was clumping together, and a few pieces were stuck to his forehead. Now that you were closer, you realized that there was something in his smile that was inauthentic. It wasn’t like the smirks you had seen, it seemed almost… forced.

This time letting your eyes wander downwards, you caught a glimpse of his broad chest and thick arms in his sleeveless jersey. Your stomach did a front flip at the sight and you decided that you had seen enough. Focusing on your phone you began scrolling through it randomly trying to get the image of Kuroo shirtless out of your head. You hated that you thought it, but you swore your brain did it on its own.

You’re sure any normal girl didn’t have any problem seeing all these guys in their jerseys. But because of your inexperience, for you, the sight of a man’s arms turned you into a babbling idiot. It was annoying, and you prayed that you got over it soon.

Suddenly, you heard someone call, “[Y/N], what’d you think of the game?”

You looked to where the voice was coming from, and to your horror you saw Kuroo staring at you above the heads of several offended girls. Your mouth fell open slightly as you failed to make an answer. “Excuse me, ladies,” Kuroo said as he pushed past a few of the girls to walk over to you.

_‘Oh my god. No please.’_ You were mortified as the girls that were now behind him shot you death glares. The butterflies that were once in your stomach started to burn like acid as you could hear some of them whispering to one another while staring at you.

When Kuroo was finally standing in front of you he asked, “Hi, did you hear me?”

You paused and looked up at him slowly. He was staring down with one eyebrow cocked, waiting for your response. Mouth agape, you stood trying to think of the right words.

“You idiot!! What are you doing? All those girls are trying to talk to you, and you walk over here? I was just waiting for you to finish so I could give you your hoodie back,” you started yelling while waving your arms around wildly. You weren’t really sure what possessed you to get fired up like that, but it was refreshing.

“Eh, that conversation was basically over anyway,” he replied nonchalantly. Something about the glint in his eyes told you that he found your agitated state amusing.

Groaning, you reached your hand into your bag, “Well he-“ your eyes flicked to the girls behind Kuroo. Their aura was dark and their presence was making you uncomfortable. You were pretty sure if they saw you pull out the hoodie, they would consume you and send you to hell. “Actually, your groupies are staring, can we go somewhere else?”

It was an entirely serious question, but Kuroo must have found it entertaining because he busted out into his hyena laugh. A couple of the girls behind him shot each other disgusted looks and started to walk away slowly. _‘Hmm, they must not have heard him laugh yet.’_

While you were focused on the girls behind him, Kuroo started walking off. When you turned your head to look at him, he just nodded in the direction of an exit. You followed a couple of steps behind until the two of you were standing in the athletic hallway.

“So, you afraid of a few girls?” Kuroo jested as he spun around to face you.

“Those weren’t girls, those were lions and they were acting like I just stole their prey,” you retorted, glancing behind your shoulder to make sure you weren’t followed.

“I would prefer if you didn’t objectify me, it’s very demeaning,” Kuroo said in a very theatrical way.

You turned back to him, with a look of disbelief plastered on your face. His smirk was back, but this time it seemed less painful. “Tch, ok drama queen. Let me know when your next play is, I’ll be sure to buy tickets,” you answered. A bit shocked you let your own sarcasm out at full force again, you clasped your hand to your mouth and tried to hide your smile. The old you seemed to be coming out more and more around Kuroo.

Not being satisfied with you hiding your face, Kuroo grasped his heart as if he had just been shot. Slowly he backed up to the hallway wall and began sliding down it onto his butt.

Some of the other athletes were starting to come into the hallway, and they were beginning to notice the two of you. “Kuroo! Get up! What are you doing?” you took your hand away from your mouth and lunged forward as you tried to pull him up.

He let you budge him a little before he tensed his arm and caused you to fall on the floor next to him.

You sat there stunned for a moment, he had pulled you down without hardly moving, he was definitely strong. Suddenly you realized how ridiculous the scene must have looked, and you started laughing uncontrollably.

“Alright, she’s officially lost it people,” Kuroo called to the random people in the hallway before starting to laugh himself.

You jumped up from your butt to your knees and tried to put a hand over his mouth. “Why must you always draw attention to yourself; you’re insufferable,” you hissed at him through laughter. At first, he just swatted your arms away, but eventually, when you got closer to accomplishing your goal, he grabbed your arms at your wrist. His grip wasn’t too hard, it was just firm.

He held you in place and when you realized you couldn’t move a brief flashback played in your mind. Immediately you stopped laughing and your eyes widened out of fear. “Let go,” was all you said in a sober voice.

Kuroo dropped your hands straightaway and began apologizing, “I’m sorry, did I hurt you? I-I didn’t mean it.” He started to lean forward, a concerned look spreading across his face.

At some point in your messing around, he had turned to face you. In order to keep him from seeing the tears starting to rim your eyes, you turned and put your back against the wall as you sat back down on your butt.

“Here,” you said as composed as possible while grabbing his hoodie out of your bag. You held it out to your side but didn’t look over at him. He didn’t take it out of your hands, and you were getting annoyed. “Kuroo, do you want it back or not?” you asked sharply as you turned to him slightly.

Despite now suddenly being so cold to him, he looked at you so tenderly. He didn’t say a word at first. Then he just said, “you keep it, it doesn’t fit me anymore anyways.”

After holding it out for one more moment, you pulled your arm back in and dropped your head between your knees. The anger within you disappeared and was replaced by guilt. Kuroo didn’t deserve to be snapped at, you were the one messing with him, he was just reacting. Plus, how was he supposed to know what _he_ had done to you _._

With a sigh you forced the words out of your throat, “I’m sorry Kuroo. I didn’t mean to get weird, you just surprised me when you grabbed my wrist is all.”

After a second you heard him shift closer, so you turned your head to the side so you could see him with one eye. “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have grabbed you. It won’t happen again,” he said with a slight look of sadness in his eyes.

You smiled timidly, “well I should go, I guess. Thanks for the hoodie, and good game.” Kuroo beat you to your feet as you were putting the sweatshirt back in your bag. As he stood, he held out a hand to help you. Although you hesitated, you eventually grabbed it and stood.

“Thanks, I am glad you could come,” he responded. He seemed different now. Most of his playful attitude was gone and he just seemed genuinely friendly. Even his eyes that typically gave him a sly look seemed rounder and softer.

“Kuroo,” you said quietly. This was the part you want to avoid most of all. “Also, thank you for helping me on Friday. I’m sorry that you had to fight another teammate on my behalf. I’ll try not to be so troublesome in the future.” You lowered your upper body in a deep bow, trying to show beyond words just how thankful you were.

“Wait,” he said as you stood back up. “Why are you apologizing? That asshole has had it coming for a while now,” he said as he weaved a hand through his thick hair. “I probably would’ve punched him eventually, it just so happened that he chose that night to be a sleazy scumbag.”

There was a fire in his eyes. One that told you what happened Friday really upset him, though it only made you feel more responsible. “Well thank you anyway,” you said barely above a whisper.

Kuroo sensed your growing discomfort as switched back to a much more sarcastic version of himself. “It’s all in a day’s work for someone as selfless and heroic as me. Tetsurō Kuroo? Just call me Clark Kent from now on,” he jested while he pretended to stretch his arms.

Rolling your eyes, you just turned to leave. “Nah, I think I’ll stick with Kuroo for now. If you’re lucky I’ll bother to remember your first name,” you tossed back to him. It felt so comfortable to joke with him. You started to smile to yourself as you walked away.

From behind you, Kuroo shouted, “I’ll see you Saturday for the double daa—I mean hangout!”

You flinched at the mention of your agreement with Yachi. She either worked really fast, or she had talked to him before the game. The latter would probably explain the look he gave you during the game.

Your face was a beautiful beet red, so you decided it was best not to turn around. Kuroo must’ve seen you tense and pick up the pace because you heard that stupid laugh of his coming from behind you.

_‘He just has to have the last laugh, doesn’t he?’_ you thought as you rounded the corner to leave the hallway and exit the building.

Once you were outside of the building, the air seemed a lot less heavy. Based on what Kuroo said, you figured he would’ve helped any girl in your situation, but you weren’t used to people helping you just because. Kuroo hadn’t even known you, and he helped you anyways. It was such a simple thing, but someone like Kuroo could’ve changed your life if you met them years ago.

While you stood there, you took a moment to turn your palms upward and look at your wrists. Grabbing one in the other hand, you twisted it anxiously. The sensation of someone much stronger than you having control of your movements was too familiar.

But still, there was something about Kuroo’s touch that wasn’t entirely unwelcome. It wasn’t like he hurt you like your ex did, Kuroo’s hands felt entirely different. They didn’t burn, but it felt like there was electricity shooting to your elbows once his hands touched you. It was confusing, so it only added to the reason you wanted to withdraw so quickly.

Not wanted to dwell on those thoughts any longer, you decided to shake them away and enjoy the walk. Today had been eventful. For the first time, you let yourself think about what you accomplished. Although you had a few weird moments, overall the day was a success. You had been able to sit at a volleyball game with very few memories of your ex disrupting you. Plus being there had reminded you how much you actually enjoyed watching the sport.

You had a long way to go, but this was certainly a big step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok first off, I had been thinking about that team dynamic for literally ever. I know it doesn't really make sense and Terushima is an outside hitter, but for the sake of this story, he's a short middle lol. 
> 
> Also confession: I don't read the manga yet, although I probably will start it soon. However, I do like pulling bits and pieces from what I know or see about it. So don't be surprised if some stuff kinda goes with that but isn't entirely accurate.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!!


	8. The Photoshoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it has taken me a while to write this. I am trying to get back into the swing of things at school. Plus, for some reason, I found this chapter super difficult to write! 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for all the comments, likes, and kudos! I love seeing all of them! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Happy Reading  
> MW

When your alarm went off at 6:30 in the morning, you grumbled and decided an athleisure outfit was warranted. To mourn the fact you lost a few hours of sleep, you put on an all-black outfit consisting of joggers, a cropped hoodie, and a baseball hat. It was comfortable, but you would also be moving around a lot to get the pictures, so it was practical.

After scarfing down a quick breakfast and doing inventory, you packed your car with everything you needed. You had three monochrome outfits that you needed Akaashi to model. Almost every part of each outfit had been made by you. The exceptions were typically the shoes and some accessory pieces.

Although it seemed plain, it was intended to portray a message. Your sketches were inspired by the notion that there is more than what meets the eye. The designs were simple in color, but what they lacked in curb appeal, they made up for in detail and craftsmanship. To really appreciate the designs, you had to really _see_ them. You titled it, _‘In Plain Sight.’_ The name was both contradictory and direct, which you were satisfied with.

This was a line you worked very hard on, and you were very proud. It was also the first line you made without any suggestions from anyone; it was entirely you.

It was a quarter until 8 when you finally started on your way to get Akaashi. It was a chilly, dew-filled morning so the sidewalks were empty, save a few people stumbling to their early lectures. You always appreciated the way campus seemed to quiet in the mornings, it felt relaxing.

As you drove up to the gymnasium building, you immediately saw the dark-haired boy standing outside with two coffees in hand. He was dressed casually as well, in light joggers and a dark oversized hoodie.

He hadn’t noticed you approaching yet, so you found yourself gawking at the way the dawning sun glistened on the air around him. _‘So beautiful,’_ you thought to yourself as you pulled in front of him.

“Good morning [Y/N],” he said softly as he climbed into your small car.

“Good morning Akaashi,” you replied with a yawn. Normally you’d start to get flustered now that he was so close, but you were too tired to let it bother you.

“Here, I grabbed you a coffee.”

Looking at the cup as Akaashi passed it over, you realized that it was the same drink you had ordered the day you ran into him at the coffee shop.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said with a stunned look on your face. You weren’t sure if it was a coincidence, or if he deliberately remembered your order.

Akaashi turned his head forward, “well I was going anyways, so I figured I’d grab you something. You do like that drink, right?” he asked as he looked back at you.

_‘Ok, definitely deliberate,’_ you mused as you felt your cheeks grow warm.

Placing the coffee down in the cup holder, you didn’t know whether to be shocked or amazed that he remembered your order. “Yeah, it’s my favorite, thanks.”

_______________________________________________________

The ride over to the location was relatively quiet at first. Mostly the two of you let the car’s radio fill the air as you drove. Although you didn’t speak, it wasn’t uncomfortable. You respected that Akaashi wasn’t someone who constantly needed to fill the void with words, especially that early in the morning.

Eventually, however, Akaashi did break the silence. “Alright, so do I get to know where we are headed?”

While hitting your left turn signal, you responded, “Oh, yeah! So, my family knows some people who own a warehouse nearby, and they said I could use it for the shoot. We will be there soon.”

“I see, so why a warehouse? The designs I saw looked more chic than edgy. Why not use a cityscape or something?”

Akaashi wasn’t wrong. Your designs weren’t really meant to be grunge. Still, you had chosen the warehouse because you felt making the outfits look out of place would match the theme. Ultimately, you decided that the disagreement between the background and the style would draw more attention to the outfits. Although you were happy with the way the theme was playing out, it was maybe a little too deep to tell Akaashi.

You let out a small laugh, “yeah, I like the contrast. I think it looks cool.” Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him turn his head to look at you. Refusing to meet his gaze, you kept your eyes glued on the road. It felt like he was expecting more, but that was all you were willing to give.

Wanting to change the topic you said, “So I have three designs I need to be modeled. All of them are monochrome outfits of different colors. There’s white, black, and tan. If all goes well, taking the photos should really only take a couple of hours.”

“Alright, that sounds good,” Akaashi replied as he turned to face forward and brought his coffee to his lips.

Swallowing a thick lump in your throat, you supposed Akaashi knew you were trying to avoid something. He was very perceptive, it made you almost uncomfortable. 

Thankfully you weren’t far from your final destination as you rounded the corner into the warehouse parking lot. From the outside, it just looked like a rectangular building with a few windows and several garage doors. On the inside, it was poorly lit, and littered with metal bars, pipes, and shelves. It had a lot of character, but it wouldn’t be too eye-catching. You really thought it would be the perfect place for the shoot.

When you parked your car, Akaashi immediately began helping you unload things. The most annoying part was always the set-up. On the main floor of the warehouse, you started hanging up the outfits and organizing the camera equipment while Akaashi began putting up the makeshift changing room you brought. It was really just a cube made of PVC pipes that had curtains draped between them, but it was better than nothing.

With Akaashi’s help, the setup only took about 30 minutes. Once you were comfortable with everything, you stood looking around with your hands on your hips. Eyeing the warehouse, you made a mental note of three different areas that you wanted to take photos in.

Turning to Akaashi, you clasped your hands together and said, “alright, let’s get this show on the road.”

He just nodded and followed you towards the rack that held the three outfits. Handing him the first outfit, he turned and headed towards the changing area.

While he was changing, you realized there was a knot that was lingering within your stomach. However, this wasn’t the common knot of anxiety, it was more like… excitement. You were so proud of these designs, and you had worked so hard on all of them. Your cheeks started turning pink as you thought of how handsome Akaashi was and how he’d make the pictures look even better.

Just then, your thoughts were interrupted by, “does this look alright?”

Turning around, you couldn’t help the way your mouth fell open slightly. The first outfit was a black long-sleeved, slim-waisted jumpsuit. It was covered in deep pockets, and there was a long black belt that hung from the waist. The hidden secret was that if you looked up close, you’d realize the material was corduroy. It probably was the only outfit that looked like it might fit in the industrial setting, yet it was still obviously meant to be streetwear.

Your mouth started moving on its own and all that came out was a soft, “holy shit…” Akaashi put a fist to his mouth and gave a quiet chuckle.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he responded. “Did I need to do anything with my hair? Or do you usually do makeup or anything?”

The second question snapped you out of your daze, “o-oh right! Yeah let me just fix your hair, you can sit in that chair over there.”

Honestly, his natural look was perfect, you just wanted to be sure it didn’t move out of place throughout the entirety of taking photos. As he sat down, you were hesitant to touch him. Even though this was a strictly professional outing, you became increasingly aware of you both being alone in an empty warehouse. The thought caused you to withdraw your hand slightly.

Noticing your reluctance, Akaashi looked up and said, “if you’re uncomfortable, I can do it myself. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

He looked at you so earnestly that you felt guilty for being so hesitant. Inhaling sharply, you closed your eyes momentarily, and when you opened them back up you stared down with determination.

“No, it’s okay. It shouldn’t take long,” you added while you reached for the hair clay. Just when you looked away, you missed a smirk of satisfaction spread across Akaashi’s face.

As you were combing your hands through his hair, you could’ve sworn you felt him lean up into your palm slightly. Looking down, you saw that his eyes were closed but there was a pained expression on his face. He looked sad, almost regretful.

You released his hair immediately, “I-I’m sorry Akaashi, did I hurt you?”

He opened his eyes slowly. With a sigh he said, “No [Y/N], you’re fine. I’m just thinking.”

“Alright, well I’m done anyway, so we can get started if you’re ready?” Giving you a brief nod, he stood to follow you over to the first spot where pictures would be taken.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to find a rhythm. Though he denied having any modeling experience, Akaashi looked so comfortable in front of the camera. Interestingly enough, you found that despite his apathetic look, his eyes displayed a tremendous amount of emotion. You couldn’t quite decipher what emotion it was, but it gave you the chills.

“You’re a natural, Akaashi. These are going to turn out great,” you said while you clicked through some of the first shots on the camera display screen.

“Are you sure? I feel like I’m not doing anything special,” Akaashi questioned.

“The candid ones are the best, just keep doing what you’re doing. If you need to, just walk around a bit and I’ll grab the shots,” you assured him as you held the camera back up.

Clicks, shutters, and flashes of the camera filled the warehouse as you worked. Even though you weren’t talking much, it seemed the two of you were growing closer with each photo. You felt calmer around the solemn boy, more at ease. 

When you had gotten all the photos you needed for the first outfit, you started walking back to where everything was set up. Just then, Akaashi’s phone started ringing.

“You can answer that if you need to, I’ll set up the next outfit.”

Akaashi stared at the phone screen. His eyebrows furrowed and he let out a heavy exhale before shoving it back into his pocket. “It’s ok, I’ll call them back later.”

You didn’t think too much of it as you walked to grab the next wardrobe bag.

The next outfit you had him model was an all-white ensemble. You had made the cuffed white pants and the white turtleneck, but you were most proud of the coat. It was a Sherpa material, but it was made with the shape of a puffy coat. You used a special stitch on the exterior, which gave it a cool pattern wherever there was the thread. _‘It was a bitch and a half to make,’_ you thought as you handed it through the curtain of the changing room.

Once again, when Akaashi stepped out of the dressing room, you were overwhelmed by pride. Surely there wasn’t a thing Akaashi could wear that would make him look bad but seeing him in your own designs blew away all your expectations.

As you walked to the next spot you picked out, you said, “thank you, for helping me, I mean.”

The absence of his footsteps behind you resulted in you stopping and turning to face him. “You know, you say a lot of ‘thank yous’ and ‘I’m sorrys’ even when it isn’t necessary. I wanted to help, no need to thank me for something I wanted to do,” he said as he began walking again, this time past you.

You didn’t really know how to respond, so you followed in silence. You were trained to feel like an inconvenience, and you hadn’t really broken that yet. It was just part of your nature for now.

After several more photos, you were finally on the last look. Giving the wardrobe bag to Akaashi, you turned to start organizing some of the other stuff to make clean-up easier. Just as you were throwing some of the extra props in a bag, you realized the shoes you had intended for this next outfit hadn’t ended up in the right place. Since Akaashi had just walked into the makeshift dressing room, you decided to run and go tell him.

You were looking down at the shoes when you ripped back the curtain and said, “I’m sorry Akaashi I must’ve switched the sho—" Your eyes had lifted midsentence, and you froze when you saw that what stood before you was a shirtless Akaashi.

Slowly your body went on fire, your face with it. For what felt like an eternity, you stood there staring at the shirtless wonder, unmoving with a pair of shoes in your hands. You begged your eyes to look anywhere else, but they wouldn’t budge.

Akaashi was the one to finally break the silence again. With a chuckle, he asked, “are those the right shoes? You can just leave them there.”

In what felt like slow motion, you ripped your eyes away from Akaashi’s bare chest to the shoes. Pulling your eyes away must have brought you to your senses because time seemed to pick back up and you immediately snapped your eyes shut.

“ _Oh_ my god. Akaashi, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to… I should’ve –“ you began rambling.

His laughter was louder this time. “[Y/N], it’s fine, really. It was an accident,” he added but you swore you saw his cheeks flush before you looked away.

“Y-yeah, right. I’m sorry,” you said as you dropped the shoes and closed the curtain behind you. Once it was closed you threw your head into your hands with your mouth agape. Pulling slightly at the front of your hair you let your head fall back in a deep groan.

_‘IDIOT. DROOLING, STUMBLING, PATHETIC IDIOT,’_ you screamed internally. As much as you berated yourself, you couldn’t get the beautiful image of Akaashi’s exposed torso out of your head. He was lean, yet his defined muscles made him look very firm. Not to mention his washboard abs that were perfectly visible.

“God, why meeee,” you whimpered to yourself lowly. Whether it was a blessing or a curse you weren’t sure, but you heard Akaashi’s voice behind you calling that he was ready.

Turning around, you forgot about some of the embarrassment. He was wearing the design you were most proud of. The look included a tan undershirt, tan pinstripe pants, and a tan wool coat. Your favorite part of the design was the belt. You didn’t often make the accessories for the designs, but this time you did. It was a simple harness style type belt. One strap across the waist and two around the shoulders. It too had an intricate design pressed into it that could only be seen up close.

“You worked hard on this one didn’t you,” Akaashi asked, breaking the silence.

You just nodded quietly as you grabbed your camera.

“I haven’t told you yet, but all of these outfits are amazing. You’re really talented,” Akaashi said calmly.

His honesty made you feel antsy. Yes, you were proud of your work, but you were still uncomfortable at the thought of other people acknowledging the effort you put in. After a moment you said, “well, how about I promise give you one of the outfits as compensation. Once I have the photos, I only need the outfits for the end of the year show. You can pick your favorite.”

Akaashi hummed slightly, “I might just take you up on that.” When you turned to face him, he was smiling softly while looking off to the side. He crinkled his nose slightly and let out a soft breath.

Grabbing your camera, you asked, “you alright, Akaashi?”

He looked back to you, “I’m ok, let’s get you some good photos. This lighting is really good.”

You snorted to yourself. He wasn’t wrong, there was a bit more natural light peering through the dusty windows, illuminating the warehouse more than before. Looking around, you knew that these photos would be your favorites.

_____________________________________________________________

When you were all done with everything, you felt a tremendous sense of relief. The photoshoot is always a major portion of any design project. Thanks to Akaashi’s volunteering, it made the process a lot smoother.

After you got everything packed up and put away, you took a second to relish in your accomplishments. Plopping down on one of the camera equipment cases, you let some of your stress wash away as your entire body slumped. Akaashi sat down on another case next to you. Both of you reveled in the silence for a moment. The air was still cool as it wasn’t even midday yet, and there was a faint smell of rust in the air.

You were experiencing a feeling similar to the one you get after finishing a big exam. All this work and preparation, and it was over. You felt as though you were on cloud nine. You assumed your euphoric state is what gave you the courage to ask a question that had been on your mind.

“Akaashi,” you waited for him to turn to you. “Can I ask you something?”

He nodded for you to continue.

Looking away and twisting your hands in your lap you asked, “why doesn’t Bokuto like me very much? Did I do something to offend him?”

Akaashi scoffed to himself and dropped his head to his chest. After a moment he picked it back up and responded, “it’s not you. He’s just protective that’s all.”

“So, you two _are_ together,” you blurted out. At the end, you sucked in a shocked gasp and covered your mouth. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business,” you added through your parted fingers.

Akaashi continued to stare straight ahead, the pain was visible on his face again. “Our relationship is… complicated.” He hesitated, and you kept quiet hoping he’d go on.

With a sigh, he said, “We’ve been friends since high school. He was in the grade above me, and I’ve always looked up to him.” Akaashi paused again and closed his eyes softly. “Honestly, Kōta- I mean Bokuto, helped me out of a really dark place back then and I will always owe him for that.”

“Akaashi,” you said softly, “you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”

He opened his eyes back up and turned to you, “no, it’s okay. I’ve been needing to talk about this for a while now,” he assured. “Bokuto is the kind of person who gives every single thing one-hundred percent, but when he fails it destroys him. It seems like Bokuto is already sure he loves me, and I care about him a lot, but…”

Akaashi stopped and put his head in his hands. You turned your body towards him slightly, you could tell whatever he was thinking was eating him alive.

“…but I just don’t know what love means, or how you know if you’ve found your person, or if I can give as much as he gives,” he said as he propped his chin on his hand. “We are supposed to be the protagonists together, I can’t be his villain.”

“Soo, you aren’t sure if what you feel is friendship or something more, and you’re afraid if you don’t reciprocate it’ll hurt him?” you tried to clarify.

He sighed a loud, deep sigh and looked over to you. “I felt like I needed a way to figure it out. Which honestly, is sort of why I am here and didn’t tell him,” he confessed. “Ever since I met you, I’ve felt an inexplicable pull towards you.”

Your body physically moved backward out of shock. It felt like your fight or flight instinct was kicking in, you could feel your heart pounding in your chest.

“I agreed to the photoshoot because I wanted to see if being around you would make me feel differently than how I feel around Bokuto. You know? Like if I’d feel something special.”

You shifted uncomfortably and hummed in response; nausea was starting to rise in the pit of your stomach. “And did you?”

“I think you’re amazing, [Y/N],” Akaashi continued as he fully turned to face you.

“I’M GOING TO STOP YOU THERE,” you yelled as you threw your hands up in front of you. It was a desperate attempt to put a wall between the two of you. “I just got out of a really awful relationship and I’m not ready for another, plus I think you and Bokuto are good for one another. You fill in the gaps,” you rambled on while shaking your head and dropping your gaze to the floor.

There was only silence for a moment, then you heard a soft chuckle and felt Akaashi gently push your arms downwards. “Well if you’d let me finish. I was going to say, I think you’re amazing, _but_ I spent the entire morning here with you thinking how much Bokuto would’ve loved seeing me in these outfits or how much he would’ve loved to be here too.”

Instead of turning red this time, all the color drained from your body, and you swore your spirit left you. You had done some stupid things in front of Akaashi, but this one took the cake. With a groan, you put your face in your lap and placed your hands on the back of your head.

“Of course, that’s what you were going to say. Why would I ever think you were going to confess to me? I’m so sorry,” you said, though it sounded very muffled.

“[Y/N], look up for a moment,” Akaashi asked. Reluctantly you did what he said. “You are gorgeous, kind, and driven. If it weren’t for the other person on my mind constantly, I might’ve confessed to you. So, don’t doubt yourself so much.”

Every cell in you screamed at you to look away from him. Although his words were so kind, your skin was crawling. You hated that it felt like that, so you just sighed and tried to steer the topic away from yourself. “My mom always says, ‘the person that occupies your heart is the person who most often occupies your mind.’ It was a cheesy way of saying you think a lot about the person you love, but I think it's applicable here,” you stated with a shy smile.

Akaashi smiled back before looking away. “I think your mom might be onto something. I’m sorry [Y/N] if I lead you on at any point, I hope you can still consider me a friend.”

“Of course,” you responded. “Plus, how can I ever dream of competing with someone like Bokuto, he’s so incredible.”

Akaashi paused before tilting his head back to you witnessing you kicking small pebbles with your feet. “Can I ask you something now?”

“Uhh, sure,” you responded hesitantly.

“So, was this ‘really awful relationship’ the reason you think so poorly of yourself and the reason you look like you want to run away every time someone compliments you?”

The accuracy of the question felt like a bolt of electricity striking through your body. Immediately your mind raced to the person you had recently opened up to, “did Oikawa tell you?”

Akaashi shook his head, “no, just a hunch. I am not sure if you ever noticed me, but we had some general education classes together a few years back. I always used to steal glances at you. Back then, you always wore the same defeated look you only occasionally wear now. I assume the breakup is what changed.”

You forced yourself to steady your breathing. Apparently, you were as readable as a book, and you hated that.

Akaashi let out a scoff before you could continue, “I was actually a lot like you. I constantly doubted myself and never felt like I was enough. Bokuto was the one who helped me realize my own self-worth. He has a way of complimenting you that makes you feel like you’re the only person anybody is noticing.”

You tossed your head back while you laughed softly. Looking at the ceiling you admitted, “funny because my relationship was the exact opposite. My ex had a way of criticizing you to the point where you believed it must be what everyone thought about you.” You brought your head back down to look at Akaashi, your eyes were starting to burn.

“At first, I thought he was trying to be helpful, but eventually I realized how destructive it was.” Your gaze fell as one tear streamed down your cheek, “By that point, it was too late, the damage was done. I had let him go too far, physically and emotionally.”

Akaashi leaned forward and reached out to brush the tear away, but you beat him to it and wiped it with your sleeve. Forcing a smile, you asked, “but enough about me, next question. If you care so much about Bokuto, why are you so formal with him?”

You were trying everything you could to steer the conversation in another direction. Today was going full of so many positives, you didn’t want to waste any more time dwelling on thoughts of your ex.

Akaashi leaned back. “Bokuto’s weakness #75: he’s easily instigated. Plus, his pouting face is one of the only ones he reserves just for me. I’d do anything to see it.”

“Why were you ever doubting that you loved him again,” you asked with a playful tone.

“I guess you’re right,” he answered with a smile. “Hopefully for you, it’ll be easier to know when you’ve found your Bokuto. Just look for the opposite of what you had.”

You scoffed, “even with a Bokuto, I’m not sure the damage can ever be repaired.”

Akaashi stood and extended a hand to help you up. “I’m not so sure about that. I may know just the guy, and he just happens to be one of Bokuto’s good friends. They’re both incredibly loyal, caring, and passionate people.”

You took his hand and stood. “Whoaaaa so first you're exploring your feelings towards me, next you’re setting me up, what’s with you,” you teased.

Akaashi chuckled lowly and responded, “I just know you’re a real catch, and I won’t stand for you settling.”

You laughed again, “thanks cupid, but again, I am not quite ready for a relationship.”

“We’ll see how you feel about that after tomorrow,” he said with a wink as he walked off.

“HUH,” you looked at Akaashi incredulously. “What’s tom—” you couldn’t even finish the question because your body went as stiff as a board.

“GOD DAMNIT KUROO, I will kill him,” you yelled as you stomped off after Akaashi.

Akaashi laughed loudly in front of you, and you just rolled your eyes. Despite your irritation with a certain dark-haired boy, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. Even if you didn’t have your very own Bokuto, you were grateful for the people you did have. People like Yachi, Oikawa, and Akaashi have been so instrumental in helping you get back up on your feet. You were slowly starting to feel like your old self again.

Running after Akaashi with an equipment case you yelled, “I don’t know what he told you, but it isn’t a date.”

“Oya? Well, he didn’t tell me anything. He only told Bokuto that it is most certainly a date,” said Akaashi as the two of you exited the warehouse to load up the car.

_‘He’s a dead man,’_ you thought to yourself as steam barrelled out of your ears in anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddddd Akaashi's out of the race as well. I'm sorry, as much as I love Akaashi personally, I also think the Bokuaka ship is too pure to touch. Also, I felt a little weird having Akaashi call Bokuto by that name rather than his first, so just think of him as doing it for the sake of the reader. 
> 
> More to come! Thank you for reading!


	9. The Double Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! This chapter made me super excited for Halloween. I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Happy Reading!   
> MW

When you woke up the next morning, you edited some of the pictures in bed while drinking your coffee. You wanted a handful of photos uploaded on your phone so you could send them to Bokuto. The plan was to give them to him as a peace offering, and with how good they were turning out, it was bound to put you on his good side.

Once you completed that, you were free to enjoy your Saturday. That is, until the ‘double date’ with Yachi and the guys. Thankfully, since Yachi had decided on going to a haunted house, you wouldn’t need to be ready until later in the evening. You still needed to put a costume together, but it felt like something you could do last minute.

Until then, you were going to enjoy some personal time. Or so you thought because just as you were walking in the door from your midday run, your phone rang.

“Hey Oikawa, what’s up?” you asked, mildly confused and slightly out of breath.

“~ What’s this I hear about a date with a certain cat? ~” he asked in a sing-song like voice.

The abrupt question caused you to choke on the water you were drinking. As you coughed, Oikawa just laughed on the other end.

When you could finally breathe again, you growled into the receiver, “it’s not a damn date. I don’t know why that bed-headed bastard keeps telling people that it is, we are just hanging out in a group.”

“Mhmm, sure thing [Y/N],” Oikawa jested, but it was getting on your nerves.

“That’s it, I’m not going. Thanks for ruining my mood Shittykawa,” you barked.

Oikawa laughed quietly again, but then sighed and added, “well, what if I help plot some revenge to get back at him?”

You paused. There was no way you could actually back out of the ‘date’ because if you did, Yachi would be devastated. However, it was aggravating that Kuroo was telling people about it, so some payback seemed warranted. “Go on…”

“Alright, so…” Oikawa started as the two of you planned your retaliation against Testurō Kuroo.

____________________________________________________________

For most people, their favorite holiday was Christmas or New Years. Often, they were drawn to the flashiness and cheerfulness of it all. However, for you, the darkness and unpredictability of Halloween made it your favorite. It was the one day that everyone dressed up as something else. Since you often felt like you were pretending to be something you weren’t, it was comfortable.

In the past, your costume was always dictated by something your ex wanted. Normally it would’ve contained minimal fabric and was intentionally degrading in order to appease his misogynistic thoughts. This was the first year in a long time you could choose to be whoever or whatever you wanted, and you weren’t missing this opportunity.

Even though it was the weekend, you used your student ID to get into the design lab. There was a bucket of spare materials in the storage closet, and you figured nobody would notice if a few pieces went missing.

Grabbing the fabric you needed, you headed out the door and back towards your apartment. It was only late afternoon, so you had plenty of time to throw your costume together. As you pushed open the glass doors, you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face. _‘This might end up being fun after all,’_ you thought to yourself.

_____________________________________________________________

Wrapping the last of the white material around your arm, you gave yourself a once-over in the mirror. For being so short on time, you were impressed with your work. _‘Not a bad Rey Skywalker, if I do say so myself,”_ you thought as you admired the loose white material that was draped across your front and hung by your sides.

It really wasn’t that difficult of a costume to make. You already had a white v-neck and white leggings. Add the extra material, a pair of boots, and some spare straps you had lying around, and the look was complete. Still, you felt like a badass chick, which you needed to be if you were going to pull off tonight’s mission.

Once you tied your hair back in two buns, you picked up your phone and dialed Yachi’s number.

“Chiiiii, you’re so slow,” you whined as soon as you heard the line was picked up.

There was hesitation, “uhhh, this is Kageyama. I’m sorry, I’m hurrying her up now.”

At the mention of the dark boy, you instinctively pulled your phone away from your head to make sure you called the right number.

“Oh!” you responded in a shocked voice. “I’m sorry Kageyama, can you ask Yachi if she’s still picking me up?”

There was a muffled discussion on the other end.

“She said Kuroo is already on his way to get you, he should be there soon.”

“Are we picking you guys up too?” you asked, trying to keep the annoyance in your voice hidden.

“We’ll just meet you guys there, then you’ll be riding home with me [nickname]-chan,” Yachi yelled from the distance. You assumed that meant you were on speakerphone now.

Irritation bubbled within you. Yachi was smart, but she was also one of the dumbest smart people you had ever met. It wasn’t uncommon for her to forget to fill you in on the final plan, which of course now included you riding alone with Kuroo to the haunted house.

You felt an outburst coming, but then suddenly there was a knock at the door.

Turning your head, you stared at it for a moment. “Chi, did you tell him which apartment I live in?”

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t be ready, so he’d have to go up and get you,” Yachi responded.

With a groan, you pinched the bridge of your nose. “I have to go. I’ll see you there,” you said and immediately hung up the phone.

Grabbing your bag and stomping over to the door, you ripped it open. “Let’s go,” you growled as you slid past and tried to shut it immediately behind you. It wasn’t that you had a problem with people knowing where you lived, it was that you preferred to be the one who told them.

“Oh-ho-ho, Rey from Star Wars? A little bit nerdy, but the costume is dope,” Kuroo said as you locked the door. Since your back was turned to him, what you couldn’t see was the grin he was trying to hide as he examined you from top to bottom.

Not in the mood to play games, you whipped around. Eyeing his costume, you stifled a laugh. “Pft, I’m the nerdy one? You’re dressed like a character from a children’s game,” you chided while you pushed past him and started walking down the hall.

“I’ll have you know, Pokémon is a game of strategy and wit that can be enjoyed at all ages,” he called behind you. “Plus, it’ll make more sense when you see Kageyama.”

You turned your head so you could see him out of the corner of your eye as you walked. Admittedly, the costume was pretty good. The outfit itself he nailed. He tucked a black t-shirt into jeans and then wore a blue and white bowling shirt over it. For accessories, he had a red hat and green fingerless gloves. The perfect Ash Ketchum, it was spot on.

“Tch, whatever birdbrain. You coming or not?”

Even though you wanted to be angry, Kuroo’s presence had a way of lightening the mood. Still, you weren’t going to let him get away with telling his friends this was a date.

When you climbed into his car, you huffed and crossed your arms as you sat.

“Alright peach, why the grumpy look,” Kuroo asked as he slid in next to you.

Your eyes shot him daggers. “I am not a ‘peach,’” you hissed.

“Oh, so you can call me sweet, endearing nicknames like ‘birdbrain,’ but once I try to return the favor, its unacceptable?” he questioned in return.

Turning away, you decided to stare out the window. His joking tone of voice caused a smile to pull at the corner of your lips. You weren’t ready to give in just yet, so you looked away.

After a few moments, Kuroo sighed. “Listen,” he started very seriously, “if this is about the other day, I’m sorry. I really didn’t intend to hurt you when I grabbed you. Either way, it was unacceptable and I’m sorry I upset you.”

Your heart fell into your stomach. It was obvious he was still feeling bad about your reaction to him grabbing your wrists. You leaned your head against the cold window. Refusing to turn towards him you said, “no its not that.” You wanted to say more but your spit was starting to feel thick in your mouth.

Swallowing hard, you continued, “why did you tell your friends this... this was a date?”

Even though you weren’t facing him, you could feel him physically tense next to you.

“I- who told you I said that?”

Finally turning to face forward out the windshield, “Akaashi mentioned something to me yesterday. He said you told Bokuto. I also got a call from Oikawa this morning, so I’m assuming everyone thinks its true.”

There was a pause. “I’m sorry,” Kuroo said softly. “I brought it up as an excuse because the damn owl wouldn’t stop pestering me to go to a party tonight.”

Uncrossing your arms, you dropped your gaze and started fidgeting with your fingers. You hummed to signal you had heard him. You appreciated that he hadn’t ditched the plan (for Yachi’s sake), but it didn’t make it acceptable.

“Yachi told me you weren’t ready… err that you weren’t interested. Don’t worry, I’m not going to try anything. Plus, I’m so busy with school and the team right now,” Kuroo laughed awkwardly, but you couldn’t help but feel like it sounded sad.

Looking off to the side again, you propped your elbow on the door handle.

“I’ll tell them it was a lie, okay? I’ll make sure it gets cleared up,” Kuroo said as he stole glances at you.

Kuroo was in the wrong, you knew that. You weren’t ready for a relationship, you knew that. But for some reason, your chest felt heavy as you heard Kuroo’s words. Tonight was supposed to be fun, it seemed like your defensiveness was starting to ruin everything. Plus, you had a plan to get even, so maybe you were being too hard on him.

You sighed softly and dropped your arm in your lap. “As if I’d ever go on a date with someone who can’t figure out how to brush their hair,” you said while giving Kuroo the side-eye.

Even with only the soft icon lights reflecting off the dash, you could see Kuroo’s playful smirk returning. “Come on, you can’t even see the hair in this hat.”

“Not an excuse,” you mumbled under your breath.

The rest of the ride wasn’t as uncomfortable as you thought it would be. The both of you made casual small talk for the remaining distance. It seemed natural since Kuroo was pretty easy to talk with. He even got you laughing a bit, which felt good.

When you arrived at the haunted house, Yachi and Kageyama had already gotten there.

“What’d you do? Get lost on the way,” Yachi taunted as the two of you approached.

Ignoring the question, Kuroo said, “damnnnnnn little crow, nice costume.” The comment caused Yachi to blush.

Normally you would’ve rolled your eyes at the bluntness of Kuroo’s remark, but you had to agree with him. Yachi had on a black off the shoulder top, black leather tights, and red high-top sneakers. Her own version of Sandy from Grease and she looked stunning.

Pulling your eyes from Yachi’s big pouf of hair, you finally noticed Kageyama in a Pikachu onesie. You tried to suppress the laugh that was coming, but you couldn’t. “PFTTT, really? Ash and Pikachu, are you kidding?” you asked as you doubled over in laughter.

“You damn cat, I told you this was stupid,” Kageyama snarled.

“Hey, you were the one who refused to pick a costume, so I picked one for you. Maybe if you were a little more festive, you could’ve gone as something different,” Kuroo responded in his usual joking tone.

Yachi had to physically help you stand as you struggled to contain the laughter.

“Get your laughter out now, because you’ll be crying like a baby once we get in there, Peach,” Kuroo jested as he walked past you draped around Yachi.

“Peach?” Yachi whispered to you.

“Kageyama going to your apartment beforehand?” you hissed back.

Both of you shrugged, refusing to answer the other’s question.

Somehow, you managed to ignore all that was around you until you were standing at the ticket booth. The building in front of you was three floors. Once you entered, an elevator would take you to the top, and the goal was to walk through all three floors to get to the end. Each floor had a different theme, but you wouldn’t know what it was until you entered. It was a very popular attraction in the area, and your stomach was churning with excitement.

It’d been so long since you were able to go to a haunted house. Any time you recommended it as a date with _him,_ he just laughed and called you immature. Being afraid didn’t make you feel immature, it made you feel alive. It was Halloween after all, you were here with some friends, and you were going to have some fun.

After Yachi and Kuroo walked up to buy the tickets, you and Kageyama stood there listening to the spooky music and screams coming from the inside of the building.

“Are you scared,” Kageyama said overtop of a loud shriek.

“More like excited. Are you?” You asked, pulling your head down to look at the boy.

He was quiet for a second. “Nah,” he said blushing slightly while looking past you. Your eyes followed his to Yachi.

“Are you trying to be brave to impress her,” you asked while giving him a playful nudge.

“H-Huh, what? No! Maybe? Ugh, oh god, it’s stupid isn’t it,” Kageyama pulled his Pikachu hood over his eyes to cover the red creeping onto his face. However, it was spreading down to his neck, so it was still visible.

You giggled. “No, it’s not stupid. But you also don’t need to fake anything. You’ll do just fine being yourself.”

He pulled his hood up so one eye popped out. “You think?”

“I know,” you said with a wink. “I’m actually happy to hear you’re interested in her.”

Kageyama chuckled, “yeah, well, she reminds me of a good friend. I’m not really sure when I started seeing her differently, but I don’t… hate it.”

You smiled at him while he was lost in thought about Yachi. It seemed that those two had fallen for each other without realizing it.

“Who’s ready to be scared shitless,” Kuroo interrupted as he walked up behind you, throwing a fist in the air containing the tickets. Yachi cheered beside him.

_‘Bring it on,’_ you thought with a grin.

_________________________________________________________________

The top floor of the building was themed like a laboratory. It was divided into sections of rooms, and each one was very well set up for the theme. Sirens blared while fog oozed out of cracks and pipes in the building. Metal tables, glass vials, and other bloodied props were set up everywhere.

The four of you stood at the entrance. Once you started, there was no break until you finished all 3 floors. Some rumors even said that people with chainsaws hid in the steps just to scare you between each floor. You really hoped it was true because you needed that for your plan.

Looking at your friends, you noticed that Yachi was shifting nervously, but she still looked happy. Kageyama jumped every time a gust of wind blew his way, which made you laugh. However, Kuroo stood very calm and collected with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

He noticed you staring and looked over, “having second thoughts?”

“Tch, in your dreams,” you responded as you stepped beyond the threshold and into the haunted lab.

Kuroo followed closely behind you, while the other two hesitated but eventually ran to catch up.

As you walked through the top floor, you and Kuroo spent most of your time laughing at the distressed reactions of the other two. Both of them would scream bloody murder any time a worker popped out of a hidden door.

Even though they looked pale and miserable, every time they were scared, Yachi would practically jump onto Kageyama which would result in both of them blushing. Yachi now had a death grip on Kageyama’s onesie as the two of them walked through the floor.

_‘Chi, you sly dog,’_ you thought to yourself as you realized why Yachi had chosen one of the most terrifying locations for a date.

Another thing you noticed while you walked through the floor was that the workers were pretty aggressive. They never hesitated to get up in your face, and many of them would even lightly touch your hair or the back of your neck. All four of you did have to have sign waivers before entering, so you assumed it permitted them to touch you.

After about 15 minutes, you found yourselves in a large open room with two doors at the other end. You thought it was a little weird how empty the room was, but you shrugged and began walking.

“Wait!” Yachi yelled. “Which door do we pick?”

Kuroo had followed you out, so the two of you stood in the center of the room while the other two stood in the doorway. Both of you turned around, and you yelled back to Yachi, “I’m sure they both lead to the next floor, so it doesn’t matter. Let’s just pick the same one.”

As soon as Yachi and Kageyama stepped into the large room, a dozen hidden doors on either side opened up. Workers dressed as bloodied mad scientists and failed experiments came rushing into the room. Before you knew it, fifteen people were surrounding you and Kuroo, while another fifteen surrounded Yachi and Kageyama.

“Hey!” you shouted as you felt one of them shoved you into Kuroo. The force caused him to stumble back towards one of the doors.

Yachi was screaming across the room. “[Y/N]!” she yelled, as the employees pushed her and Kageyama towards the other door.

Just then, you felt more shoves until you and Kuroo were right at the exit. He reacted quickly and opened the door so the two of you could get away. As soon as you slipped through the crack, he shut it behind you. From the other side, you heard what sounded like a padlock.

You tried the door handle, but it wouldn’t budge. “What the hell?” you yelled as you pounded on the door.

“It’s part of the skit,” Kuroo said as he rested on one of the railings. He was breathing heavily; the unexpected experience must’ve gotten to him as much as it did you.

It had thrown you off guard how hard some of the workers pushed you. You likely could even have some bruises tomorrow.

Suddenly, your eyes went wide and dropped to the side of your costume where you had hidden a bag of fake blood. You needed that for your payback against Kuroo, and if it already popped the whole thing would be ruined.

You sighed in relief when you realized it was still intact under your costume.

_‘Actually, this might be a good time to get this plan rolling,’_ you thought to yourself as you saw Kuroo breathing heavily.

“There must be two routes, and they try to break up groups to keep it interesting,” Kuroo said, unaware that you were having an internal monologue.

“Then we’ll meet them on the other side,” you said as you walked towards Kuroo trying to hide your smirk.

“Yeah. Hey, are you alright? They pushed you pretty damn hard. Almost knocked the wind out of me when you hit me,” Kuroo asked as he reached out to grab your arm but decided against it and retracted his hand.

You looked up at him with a smile, “I’m fine, it wasn’t that hard.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow suspiciously, then started moving to walk in front of you down the steps.

There were ten steps, a platform, and ten more steps between you guys and the next floor. Hopefully, the haunted house gods would be on your side. You just needed one worker with a chainsaw to come flying out of anywhere to get your revenge started.

Walking slowly, you tried to give them time to come out. Unfortunately, nobody did, and Kuroo became suspicious.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now. Come on,” He said and extended a hand back up to where you were.

The steps were poorly lit, with only one dull light above the platform. Still, you could see Kuroo’s long, calloused fingers well. Without deliberate thought, your mind started wondering whether or not his hands would be soft. Reacting on instinct, you reached out and laid your hand gently in his.

Just then, a hidden door swung open on the platform behind you, and a worker with a chainsaw came racing out.

_‘YES,’_ you thought as you dropped Kuroo’s hand and raced down the rest of the steps. You needed the chainsaw to be close, and you needed Kuroo to have a bad view.

Reaching into your pocket, you riped out a piece of candy that when chewed would ooze a bloody red liquid. Throwing it into your mouth, you backed yourself into the dark corner of the stairwell and waited for the bloodied monster that was coming straight for you.

Thankfully, their theme of being aggressive continued as the chainsaw worker revved the equipment right next to you. He even dragged it on the wall causing sparks to go off. As soon as he dropped the chainsaw near your right side, you bit down hard on the candy and let out a screech as you jammed your fist into your side.

Within a matter of seconds, the worker turned and ran out another hidden door nearby. Everything had happened so fast, Kuroo barely had time to react. He stood motionless by the entrance of the next floor and watched as fake blood dribbled out of your mouth and began pooling at your side.

The mortified look on his face told you it was working. _‘Perfect,’_ you thought as you let yourself get into character. Sliding your back down the wall of the stairwell, you began coughing up the rest of the liquid in your mouth.

Seeing all the fake blood come out of your mouth, Kuroo finally reacted.

“FUCK! FUCK! I thought those things were supposed to be fake. FUCK! [Y/N], come on, can you hear me,” he yelled frantically as he lightly tapped your shoulder while you pretended to slip out of consciousness.

“HELP. SOMEONE HELP. I NEED HELP,” Kuroo shouted but was drowned out by the eerie music and the screaming all around.

“Hey, [Y/N], look at me,” he said much more quietly as he turned to you. You fluttered your eyes open. His face looked calm, but his entire body was shaking. Beads of sweat were starting to form on his brow.

“I’m going to get you out of here, I just need to find an emergency exit ok? Can you walk?” he asked as his eyes dropped to your hand that was pressing on your fake wound. Blood was oozing everywhere. You were amazed at how realistic it looked.

“I-I’ll t-try,” you stuttered out before you went into a coughing fit.

“Here,” Kuroo said as he took off the outer shirt he was wearing. “Keep your hand where it is, I am going to tie this around your waist to try and help keep the pressure on the wound.”

Quickly, Kuroo wrapped his shirt behind your back so that he could tie it in the front. As he leaned in to reach behind you, his intoxicating smell hit you like a wall. It was only brief, but all the hair on the back of your neck stood up as his fingers ghosted the circumference of your abdomen.

Even though you knew he was terrified, he tied it within seconds and with an extreme determination. Once he was done, he slid one of your arms around his shoulders and wrapped his arm around your uninjured waist.

His touch set your side on fire, and you momentarily forgot how to breathe as you sucked in a large breath loudly. Thankfully Kuroo mistook it as a reaction to pain.

“I’m sorry, does this hurt? I’ll get you out of here as fast as I can. Hang in there, Peach,” he said. You wanted to groan at the use of the stupid nickname, but you didn’t dare break character.

Kuroo’s torso was drenched in sweat as he pushed open the door to the next floor. The theme of this floor was a slaughterhouse. Strobe lights were flashing everywhere as workers with terrifying pig masks jumped out from behind the barn-like walls. Kuroo tried to get the attention of every person who jumped out, but once they realized they weren’t scaring anyone, they ran off.

_‘Halloween would be a bad time to be actually injured,’_ you thought to yourself when you noticed nobody would really believe you were hurt.

When you finally stopped, Kuroo had basically dragged you halfway through the floor.

“Damnit! Where the hell are the emergency exits, this can’t be legal,” he growled in an agitated voice.

Thinking it was a good time to kick things up a notch, you let your body go entirely limp as you slipped off Kuroo. Landing with a thud, you crumpled into a ball on the floor.

“[Y/N]! [Y/N]!” Kuroo yelled as he dropped down and cradled your head in his hands.

“Fuck, just hang in there. I’m gonna get you out of here, alright? You’re a fighter, Yachi told me. Don’t give up,” he said, though his voice was cracking as he scooped you up in his arms.

Instinctively, you winced at his words. _‘What did Yachi tell you,’_ you wondered as you felt your stomach twisting.

Kuroo held you tight to his chest, and you couldn’t help but notice how firm it was. Your face was also resting on his bicep, which fully flexed seemed massive. Thankfully the lights were low because you were surely blushing.

Before you knew it, Kuroo basically took off running. As his breathing grew heavier, you could feel his heart pounding in his chest which was starting to make you feel bad.

_‘I should probably call it soon, I think I got my revenge,’_ you supposed. Suddenly, you felt a drop land on your cheek. You opened your eye slightly to see what it was, and you saw a wet trail down Kuroo’s cheek. At first, you thought it was sweat, but then you realized it came directly out of the corner of his eye. He wasn’t sobbing, but one tear had fallen down his face.

_‘Fuck, he’s actually scared,’_ you thought as you fully opened your eyes. “Kuroo, stop,” you said out loud, which caused him to freeze.

He looked down at you, panting while he held you in his arms. He was a mess. Hair and body drenched in sweat, eyes bloodshot, entire body heaving as he panted.

You pushed yourself out of his arms, and he slowly stood you upright. You were sure he was shocked, but his body looked numb like he couldn’t react. You turned around and saw that you were 50 ft from the door to the next floor, he had carried you all the way there. Likely he planned on carrying you all the way out of the building.

“What. The. Hell,” Kuroo said between gasps.

Looking down, you began to untie the shirt around your waist. “Here,” you said as you took your hand off your waist, revealing that there was no wound, just fake blood.

Kuroo looked rapidly between your face and your side, though he didn’t move another muscle.

“I-it was supposed to be payback. For calling this a date. I think I took it too far,” you reasoned just as another worker jumped out of a hidden door trying to scare the two of you. You jumped, but Kuroo didn’t move, so the worker ran off.

Kuroo stood motionless, continuing to catch his breath. After what seemed like an eternity, he lunged forward and grabbed you. One arm wrapped across your back while the other held the back of your head as he pulled you in for a hug. Your entire body tensed, and your arms stayed at your sides while he continued to squeeze you.

“You moron. I thought I was going to fucking lose – I thought you were going to die,” he said through uneven breaths.

You were stunned. This wasn’t how you expected this to go. You pictured the prankster himself to stand laughing with you when he realized it was all a joke. You never expected him to fall apart because of it. “Kuroo – I,” was all you could get out before the larger man let go of you.

With his hands on your shoulders, he let out a sigh as he dropped his head. Slowly he pulled himself together, “that was pretty good, Peach. I’ll give you that.” He looked back up with a grin on his face.

_‘Thank god. I didn’t entirely break him,’_ you thought.

“So, you’re going to carry me through the last floor, right?” he teased as he let go of your shoulders and began walking past you towards the door.

“In your dreams, birdbrain,” you responded with a smile starting to spread across your cheeks.

Kuroo held the door open for you as the two of you started your descent into the last stretch of the haunted house. What you didn’t see when you walked past, was the way Kuroo covered half of his face with his hand while he shook his head. All he could think about was how he was in deep shit with you.

______________________________________________________________

“Ah HA!” You exclaimed as you jumped out of the final exit of the haunted house. The last floor had been funhouse themed, and although it was disturbing it wasn’t as terrifying as you thought it would be.

Scanning the nearby vicinity, you didn’t see Kageyama or Yachi anywhere.

“We must’ve beat those two,” you said cheerfully as you turned to Kuroo who was walking out behind you.

“Probably because I basically ran through the entire second floor,” Kuroo responded as he walked past you. He didn’t seem bitter, just very matter of fact.

You winced, still feeling guilty about taking the revenge plan so far.

Kuroo plopped down at a nearby picnic table, and you situated yourself beside him.

“Look, I really am sorry. Oikawa and I planned it. I didn’t think you’d be so gullible,” you added while trying to keep the mood light.

Kuroo looked over at you and raised an eyebrow, “you mean to tell me that Princess Tooru helped you plan something that evil? The two of you are malicious creatures,” he laughed. Even though he was messing with you, you found yourself admiring his smile.

Usually, he opted for a sly smirk, so it wasn’t often that you saw his genuine smile. Other than the times he did one of his hideous laughs, this was probably the only other instance you had seen it.

“You owe me,” he said, breaking you out of your trance.

Bolting upright and turning to face him on the bench, you responded, “HUH? Owe you? This was payback. We are even.”

Propping his head on his elbow and opening up his body to you, he responded, “nuh-uh. You said so yourself, you took it too far. Now you owe me.”

You were starting to wonder why you ever felt guilty for scaring him. “What do you want?”

“Come to a party with me,” he said, smirk making its full return.

“Tonight? Kuroo, it’s almost ten. No way,” you replied with an astonished look on your face.

Kuroo gave you a fake pout, “That’s the perfect time! The party is just getting started.”

You were beginning to feel agitated. A scowl made its way to your face as your eyebrows furrowed and you crossed your arms in protest.

“Alright fine, you don’t have to come. I just thought you’d want the chance to show off your badass costume. Now that it’s all bloodied, you look even… cooler,” he said as his eyes dropped down to trace your body.

Your body went stiff when you realized he was examining you at such a close range. You turned back to the picnic table in order to block his view. “Don’t be weird,” you mumbled under your breath. However, you weren’t feeling angry anymore, just flustered.

With a low chuckle, Kuroo stood, “I’m only messing with you, Peach. Do you want an elephant ear? I’m buying.”

Letting your eyes drift up to meet his, you sat for a second without words. He was so tall when he stood next to you, but his presence wasn’t intimidating. When he stood next to you, there was a fuzzy feeling in your stomach.

“Uhh, yeah sure,” you responded, and he walked off.

When his back was fully turned, you crossed your arms on the table and laid your face on them. _‘What the hell am I doing. One minute I want to punch the guy and the next I’m feeling butterflies,’_ you groaned internally.

A flashback began playing in your mind. You were sitting with some friends at lunch, laughing loudly and making a fool of yourself. All the attention was on you, even that of some strangers at adjacent tables. You were feeling strong, and brave, and carefree. It was the old you.

You don’t know what made you think it, but suddenly your brain placed Kuroo next to you at the table. He was laughing and being just as obnoxious as you were. _‘Tch, birdbrain would’ve loved the old me,’_ you thought with a sigh.

From behind you, a soft whimpering could be heard. Turning around, you saw Yachi walking out of the last floor with her face in her hands and Kageyama’s arm around her shoulder.

Shooting up from your seat, you ran over to the pale girl, “Chi, are you ok? What happened?” You ripped her hands away from her face and tried inspecting her. She looked fine, just pale.

You looked at Kageyama. “She didn’t like the last floor. The clowns,” he said lowly.

_‘Shit,’_ you’d forgotten. Ever since you were kids, Yachi hated clowns. She used to cry relentlessly when you’d go to a birthday party that had one.

“Come on, come sit down. You did it, you’re out now,” you tried rubbing her back, but she was hanging on to Kageyama for dear life. His face looked upset; it was hurting him to see her like this.

As the three of you sat down, Kuroo was coming back with two elephant ears and a lemonade.

“Heyyy Kags, little crow, you made it!” he cheered.

Yachi finally looked up and realized the two of you were covered in fake blood. Her jaw dropped as her eyes flitted between the two of you.

“What the hell?” she asked.

You chuckled, “I got revenge on birdbrain over here. He ended up being the one who cried like a little baby,” you teased and elbowed the tall boy who was taking a seat next to you.

He looked over at you with a shocked expression. You guessed he didn’t know you saw him crying.

“I was just terrified of who I’d have left to mess with if you were gone,” he said with a shrug.

“Whatever,” you said as you rolled your eyes.

Yachi began chuckling, your banter successfully pulling her out of her funk. In an attempt to hide your own smile, you pressed your lips into a straight line. Though it was still obvious which made Yachi laugh even more.

When she finally stopped, Kageyama spoke up. “So, I think I’m going to go back to Yachi’s apartment after this. You’ll have to go to the party without me,” he said as he looked at Kuroo.

Kuroo looked between the two who were starting to blush like crazy. “A bloodied Ash without his Pikachu, that’s a sad look man,” he finally said with a smug smile. He knew something was up, and so did you.

“Kageyama is going to drive my car, we can drop you off [Y/N] if you want,” Yachi added as she looked over to you shyly.

“Oh, I thought you wanted to watch Halloween movies after this?” you asked, trying to hide the hurt of being replaced.

Yachi looked down, then at Kageyama, then back to you. “I’m kinda Halloween-ed out. I feel like watching a Disney movie or something else happy. Y-You can come watch if you want.”

With a sigh, you reached for the elephant ear. Your nightly plans had just fallen apart, and you definitely didn’t feel like being a third wheel. Plus, there was also an overly curious Kuroo staring a hole into your head.

_‘What the hell,’_ you reasoned internally.

“No, it’s ok. I’m going to the party with Kuroo,” you said while tossing the sugary treat into your mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was super fun for me to write our reader's little prank. Also, like the thought of Kuroo trying to stay calm but being absolutely terrified. More Halloween shenanigans to come, who's going to be at this party?????
> 
> I know everything is supposed to be from the reader's perspective, but I can't help but throw in some lines about Kuroo's reactions or thoughts. That's probably like a sin in writing but it's my story and I'll tell it how I want to.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. The Halloween Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took me so long to upload! I got busy with school stuff and kept putting off writing it. Also, I know many of you are anxious to meet the ex, and I can assure you it will be coming. I think it may even be the next chapter if all goes well! The tags have been changed a bit. Nothing is talked about super in-depth yet, but it'll be coming soon, just so you know!
> 
> Anyways, thanks for all the kudos and comments! I love seeing it all.
> 
> Happy Reading   
> MW

“I didn’t realize the party was going to be at the volleyball house,” you said as the two of you walked up to the front door.

“That’s why I used the date as an excuse. Bo was pissed I wasn’t going to be at a party at our place. It was the only answer he was willing to accept,” Kuroo responded as he spun around and walked backward.

“Still mad about it,” you mumbled as you shook your head.

“Oh, come on, you said we are even,” he chirped back.

When you reached the entrance, he leaned his back against the closed door as you stood in front of him. Loud music and voices could be heard even from outside. Looking up, you returned his smirk with a playful scowl. “According to you, NOW we are even,” you said while pushing past him and twisted the handle.

When the door opened, you were instantly struck with three things. The first thing was the smell of alcohol. Because of what happened last time, you were a little hesitant to drink. However, Kuroo promised to personally fetch all of your beverages, which was an acceptable agreement.

The second thing was the warmth. Since the night was well on its way, the house was once again packed with bodies. Some people even looked like they were dripping sweat.

The third thing was the overwhelming feeling that you were out of place. Even though you agreed to come, you weren’t entirely comfortable with the party scene yet.

Standing just beyond the doorway, your eyes darted around. You contemplated leaving when you sensed a hand hovering over the small of your back. Leaning in close, Kuroo yelled so you could hear over the music, “if you want to leave that’s ok. I can take you home.”

Something about being there with Kuroo made you feel less on edge. The two of you spent the whole ride over talking about whether or not you really wanted to go. He wasn’t encouraging you one way or another, he was just making sure the choice was entirely yours.

You looked over so your soft eyes met his devilish cat ones. He seemed sincere; he even made a move to push back out the door. Reacting quickly, you grabbed a hold of his arm, “no, I want to stay. I just need a minute… and maybe a drink.”

You gave him a closed-mouth smile and a nod, which he responded to by holding out a hand. “May I?” It was extended like he was asking for a dance. He looked ridiculous doing so in his costume, so you laughed while placing your hand in his. Your fingers felt tingly under his grip, but you held on firmly as he pulled you towards the kitchen.

Once you pushed past the first crowd, you started seeing some familiar faces. The first one you saw was Oikawa who was painted green and wore a metallic tank top and shorts. Completing the costume was a headband with two antennae that he placed in his hair.

When you were within sight, you dropped Kuroo’s hand. He looked back briefly but saw who you started walking towards, so he continued on his journey to make drinks.

“An alien, interesting choice,” you said as you approached the brunette’s back.

Oikawa whipped around and swooped you up in a massive hug. “[nickname]-channnnn, I didn’t think you were coming,” he yelled as he shook you slightly. “How did our plan go?”

By the time he put you down, you were laughing uncontrollably. “Ruined my costume but was totally worth it,” you said as you spun around dramatically to show him your bloodied outfit.

“I’m so glad. Couldn’t let that brute Tetsu get away with thinking he had a shot with you,” Oikawa said as he nodded his head towards the man in question.

“Right. Never in a million years,” you responded emptily as your eyes wandered over to the dark-haired boy. His back was turned to you, but he was laughing with someone next to him. Even from where you were, you could tell it was one of his ugly laughs. For some reason, you found yourself wishing you were closer so you could hear it.

“Anyways,” Oikawa said, ripping you from your daydream, “you haven’t officially met yet, but that hunk over there is my Iwa-chan. Hajime, come here!”

You looked over your shoulder to where Oikawa was gesturing and saw the boy from after the volleyball game. He was dressed in gym shorts and a long robe that was left open revealing his muscular abdomen. Two boxing gloves were draped around his neck, and they swung back and forth as he walked over.

“What do you want Shittykawa, I was in the middle of a conversation,” he growled, but you could see the smile pulling at his lips.

“This beautiful creature is [Y/N] [L/N], she’s one of my good friends,” Oikawa added as he threw an arm around your shoulders. The guy had no regard for personal space, but oddly enough you didn’t mind.

Iwaizumi hummed in recognition, “Nice to meet you, I’ve actually heard quite a bit about you from this dumbass.”

“So vulgar,” Oikawa whined.

Giggling to yourself, you couldn’t help but think the playfulness of their relationship seemed familiar. “The pleasure is all mine,” you responded.

Oikawa let go of your shoulders and took a step towards Iwaizumi. “Alright, well we have to go make some rounds, but come find us soon, ok? I want to hear all about your ‘not date’,” Oikawa added as he wiggled his shoulders.

“Tch, yeah ok,” you said and waved them off.

Turning around you saw Kuroo was coming back with the drinks. “I still have to beat Oikawa to a pulp for that stunt he helped you pull earlier,” he said as he handed you a cup with a lid.

You smiled and took a sip. “Violence isn’t very becoming on you, maybe you should try being nice.”

Kuroo raised his eyebrows and blinked at you disbelievingly. “I’ll consider it,” he said as he walked past you while grabbing your free hand again.

In the next room, you could see Suga and Daichi across the way. Suga was dressed as an adorable dog, and Daichi was in a cop costume. It was actually shockingly realistic. Though you were excited to see them, you didn’t have time to stop and say hello because Kuroo kept walking.

Next thing you know, you found yourself standing in the wide doorway of the room where you played beer pong the week before. However, instead of the table and red solo cups, there was a smaller table filled with liquor bottles and everyone was sitting in a circle.

On the nearby couch, Akaashi was sitting on the arm dressed as a Greek God (how fitting). He wore a sheet as a toga and had gold glitter painted across his body. Bokuto sat on the seat next to him in a white t-shirt and jeans with his hair slicked back. A leather jacket was laying on the floor nearby, so you assumed he was supposed to be a greaser.

“I know you’ve all been desperately awaiting my return, but who let this party die,” Kuroo bellowed as he walked into the room with you behind him.

“TETSU,” Bokuto drunkenly shouted as he got up from his chair. He jumped on the tall boy in front of you, and the two nearly went tumbling to the ground. Thankfully Kuroo had released your hand when he saw Bokuto lunging.

In order to avoid the crash, you snuck past the two of them and walked over to Akaashi. “You look great!” you whispered as you leaned against the wall.

“You too, although I don’t remember Rey ever getting an injury like that,” he joked.

You laughed while staring at your cup, “yeah it was a prank. Had to get even with Tets – I mean Kuroo.” Instantly your cheeks flushed. You weren’t entirely sure why you almost just called him by his nickname, but you attributed it to hearing it so many times in the last few minutes.

Akaashi noticed and chuckled into his hand. “Good, somebody needs to give him a taste of his own medicine.”

Nodding in agreement, you nervously pulled at a piece of loose clothing. “Oh!” you turned to face Akaashi, “I have some of the photos on my phone. Think I can send them to Bokuto now?”

“Oh yeah, he’ll love them. Give me your phone I’ll punch in his number.”

As soon as Akaashi put in all of the digits, he handed it back to you. Selecting the photos, you clicked the send button. Kuroo and Bokuto were still wrestling in the corner, but Bokuto stopped once his phone vibrated.

The two of you watched as Bokuto’s jaw fell open as he stared at the screen. Slowly he looked up at Akaashi. He was very focused as his eyes started to narrow in on the boy sitting next to you.

“AKAAASHIIIII,” he yelled as he bounded over. “Wh-where did these come from?” he asked while flashing the smaller boy the screen.

Akaashi looked up at him very playfully. “Well, actually Bokuto-san, I helped [Y/N] out with a project yesterday and she really wanted you to have the photos.”

Bokuto glanced rapidly between you and Akaashi before finally letting his gaze land on you. “You did this? And you want me to have them?”

You continued nervously playing with your costume. “Yeah, I-I can send more when I’m done, those were just the best. I can also get you prints if that’s better?”

Bokuto froze for a moment, and you held your breath. The situation was bound to go one of two ways. Either he was going to hate you more for spending time with Akaashi, or he was going to befriend you because he appreciated receiving the photos. You hoped with your entire being that it was the latter.

Slowly a smile spread from ear to ear on Bokuto as he grabbed you by both cheeks. “You’ve just become my favorite person on the planet. Besides Akaashi that is,” he added before he planted a quick kiss on your forehead.

You were flustered but you didn’t have time to protest as he jumped over to grab Akaashi’s face the same way. “And you are the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen.” Except this time when he leaned in to kiss Akaashi, he aimed for his lips instead of his forehead. The entire room burst into cheers as the two stood there, locked in the moment.

Everyone else seemed excited but also a little shocked. You, however, were just happy to know that Akaashi wasted no time in confessing once he got his feelings straight.

“Alright, enough. I thought you said we’re playing Truth or Drink,” Kuroo’s voice echoed as he pulled back on Bokuto’s collar.

Bokuto jutted his lip out to pout briefly before quickly smiling again. “We are! You’re in, right?” he asked while turning to you.

The entire attention of the room was on Bokuto after the kiss, and now suddenly all eyes were on you. Swallowing hard, you shifted nervously as some girls you didn’t recognize started whispering to each other. You couldn’t hear them, but you had a feeling it was about you.

“I-I’ll watch,” you said as you tried to push yourself into the wall behind you.

“Oh no you don’t! You’re playing,” Bokuto said as he pulled you into the circle.

You looked desperately at Akaashi for help.

“He’s set his sights on getting you to play. I can no longer help you,” was all he responded while throwing his hands up in resignation.

With a sigh, you agreed.

It didn’t take long for you to figure out how the game was played. Bokuto started, and he randomly spun a bottle to see who he would ask the question to. However, the questions were intentionally intrusive in order to try and get the person being asked to choose to take a shot instead of answering. If the person answered the question, the one who asked had to take the shot.

You were a little afraid of what your questions would be, so you hoped you would just get lucky. If not, you figured since you’d just gotten there and were still sober, that you could handle a couple of shots.

It didn’t take but two people for the bottle to land on you. The girl asking the question looked familiar, but you were sure you had never met.

“How big is Kuroo’s dick?” she asked bluntly. Even though she was smiling, there was malice in her eyes. That’s when you realized it was one of the girls Kuroo had been talking to after the game before he left to speak with you.

“And I _know_ the answer, so you better not lie,” she bragged.

Instantly your face turned bright red and your jaw fell open out of shock. Quickly your eyes flitted around the room as almost everyone burst into laughter, the exception being Kuroo who looked generally annoyed.

“W-what, how would I know that,” you finally stuttered out.

“If you can’t answer the question honestly, you have to drink,” another girl chimed in.

“But I _honestly_ don’t know that answer,” you pleaded.

The one who asked the questions stood to pour you a shot, “no answer means to drink, my dear.”

She sauntered over to give you a shot, her butt cheeks popping out of her bunny costume as she walked.

Once again you felt like you had stumbled into a lion’s den. You were beside yourself, you didn’t know how to respond, but you just wanted the moment to be over. Downing the shot, you waved for them to move on.

Two people later, it was Kuroo’s turn. Of course, his spin landed on you.

“What’s your biggest fear,” he asked.

You were about to answer when Bokuto interrupted, “oh hell no, she’s one of us now. None of those wimpy questions. We are asking real questions or leave the game.”

Kuroo sighed, “Bo, come on. Don’t be unreasonable.”

“Don’t be too sober to have fun,” Bokuto fired back.

Kuroo put a hand over his face and turned to you when he dropped it. He mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ before he asked his new question. “What’s the dirtiest thing you’ve said in bed.”

“Now that’s more like it!” Bokuto shouted.

Without fail, your face was bright red again. “SHOT!” you demanded as you lunged for the table in the center.

After a brief cough of disgust, you found yourself two shots and half a mixed drink in. The buzz wasn’t settling in yet, but you knew it would be soon. Silently you cursed yourself for being a lightweight.

A few more people spun, and it was your turn. When the bottle slowed down, it landed on Kuroo. Feeling the effects of liquid courage, you took a second to think of a question that would get back at him.

“W-where’s the most public space you’ve done it,” you asked with your arms folded across your chest. As your face warmed, you felt slightly uncomfortable, but it wasn’t any different from what everyone else was asking. Plus, you were confident it was too embarrassing for him to want to answer.

Kuroo stepped forward to the center and poured a shot. You smiled and internally praised yourself for getting your revenge again. However, to your dismay instead of taking the shot he turned to you he said, “in the gym bleachers after practice.”

As he extended the shot to you, the girl in the bunny costume squealed and threw her face in her hands. Based on her earlier statement and her reaction, you assumed she was the other party involved.

Kuroo looked over at her and clicked his tongue as he rolled his eyes. Clearly, she was proud, but he seemed a little peeved.

Your mind betrayed you as you pictured the scene. The whole world fell into slow motion and your chest grew tighter. Another flashback played through your head. In this one, your face was pinned to a set of bleachers while _he_ stood behind you ripping at your clothes. Your smile fell from your face and your body turned to ice as you reached out for the shot. Quickly you tossed it back before you could recall the memory anymore.

The memory that was pulling its way out of the darkness was one of your most shameful. Your smile didn’t return as you turned your head to the ground.

Thankfully Akaashi sensed your uneasiness and continued the game. You could tell Kuroo’s eyes hadn’t left you, but you couldn’t look back up.

“Let’s switch the game, Dare or Drink,” Bokuto demanded when it was his turn again.

Everyone who was already drunk began cheering, but you were starting to feel sick. Something told you the game would only get uglier. Before you could walk off, Bokuto was spinning the bottle. It landed on you.

“I dare you… to make out with my boy Testu right now,” he said slyly.

Everything was on fire. Your face, your insides, your palms. It was probably in your best interest to walk away, but you didn’t. It was embarrassing enough that you already felt like people were messing with you. Walking off at this point would just cause a scene and give them more content to gossip about.

So, without saying a word, you just walked to the center table and poured yourself another shot. There were snickers all around you, but you were feeling too miserable and buzzed to care.

You were still new to the drinking scene, if you didn’t want to be a slurring mess, you knew that had to be your last shot. But people seemed to be losing interest, so you figured the game would end soon. Silently you said a prayer that the bottle wouldn’t land on you.

Everyone took turns around the circle and somehow you managed to avoid another dare.

Now it was Kuroo’s turn. “Alright, let’s make this the last one and then go enjoy the rest of the party.”

You were thankful he was putting a stop to the game. However, you had a feeling he was trying to end it for your sake.

He spun the bottle, and as fate would have it, it landed on you.

“Damn, you two keep landing on each other. Is the bottle rigged or something?” the bunny girl asked with a frown.

Kuroo rolled his eyes at her again before slowly looking over to you. He was staring at you with furrowed eyebrows, concern was very obvious on his features. Although, you still refused to meet his gaze, so you began fidgeting with your hands behind your back.

“I dare you… to wear my alternate jersey to our first playoff game,” he stated very softly. There wasn’t hesitation in his voice, but you could still tell that he was asking carefully.

Oohs and aahs spread around the room, and even Bokuto began chuckling. The whispering started again, and you were feeling overwhelmed.

It might’ve been the alcohol making you paranoid, but it seemed like you were the butt of the joke that everyone was in on except for you. Because of the reactions, you misinterpreted the situation to think that Kuroo had planned this from the start.

Like a pot boiling over on the stove, you felt all of your emotions that you were trying to suppress come exploding outwards. Skipping the annoyed phase, you went straight to pissed off. Not only was he trying to make a joke of you tonight, but he was trying to do it at the game too.

For the first time in a while, you looked up to meet his gaze with fury in your eyes. “Fuck you,” you said as you turned and left the room. You didn’t care about being embarrassed anymore, your desire to leave far outweighed that. As you walked away, you heard the bunny girl offer to wear Kuroo’s jersey. When everyone laughed, it reaffirmed to you that it was all a joke.

Instinctively your eyes started to sting. You were so used to this feeling of being played with, and you hated it. Being forced into uncomfortable situations and put on the spot when you didn’t want to be. It reminded you of the way things used to be with _him._

Through cloudy eyes, you opened the door and started to walk out.

“[Y/N]!” you heard behind you. You could tell exactly who it was, but you didn’t want to turn around. Trying to shut the door behind you, it pulled back when Kuroo managed to stick his foot in the door.

“[Y/N], wait. You don’t have to wear it, just think of it as a joke,” he said over the music as he followed you out.

Standing in the lawn, you finally turned around. “Is that what I am to you? Some joke or plaything that you can just mess with until you get a reaction?” you barked.

Kuroo slowly started stepping towards you like he was approaching a small animal he didn’t want to scare off. “No, that’s no—”

“Was this your plan? To tell everyone we went on a date, bring me here, and ridicule me in front of your friends? Any of those other girls would be grateful to have you fuck with them, why pick me?” a hot tear fell down your cheek, but you wiped it away quickly. You were trying to make a point; you didn’t want to seem emotional.

“Listen for a second, please,” Kuroo begged, desperation apparent in his voice. “I’m sorry for the things they were asking, I’ll clear up the rumor tomorrow. But I was asking you to wear my jersey as a friend, nothing more. All the other guys are getting someone to wear theirs and I thought it was the only normal dare Bokuto would let me off the hook for.”

He was within a few feet of you now. “I’m so sorry, ok. Please, don’t ever think I’m trying to hurt you or mess with you,” he said. He looked like he wanted to reach out to you, but he didn’t.

Now that he was so close, you could hear your heart pounding in your ears. “I should go,” you said quietly.

“At least let me walk you,” he said with a sigh.

The alcohol was settling in, and everything was fuzzy. You knew it wasn’t smart to walk alone, but you weren’t in the mood to walk with Kuroo. “No stay with your friends,” you said as you turned and took a step. Unfortunately for you, there was an in-ground sprinkler system right next to where your foot was. Since you weren’t very stable to begin with, when your foot caught it, you fell face-first into the grass.

In an instant, Kuroo was kneeling by your side. You just laid there with your forehead pressed into the grass as your lip quivered.

“[Y/N], are you ok,” Kuroo asked gently as he placed a soft hand on your shoulder. You could tell he wanted to be helpful, but your mind was racing. The pot of emotions continued to spill over, and you didn’t know what to feel. Should you be mad? Humiliated? Sad?

Not to mention, you were even reminded of one of the worst things that had ever happened to you which made you feel nauseous. When all the feelings got the best of you, you covered the sides of your face as you began sobbing loudly into the ground.

Kuroo withdrew his hand momentarily, then you could hear him shifting. Though you felt hysterical, you parted your fingers to see what he was doing. When you did so, your eye was met by two cat-like ones just staring at you curiously.

“W-w-what are you d-d-doing?” you asked between sobs.

He was lying next to you on his stomach with his head turned to the side as he rested it on his hands. Smiling at you, he said, “you looked comfortable so I’m laying down next to you.”

You closed your fingers and started to laugh in between sobs. It sounded pathetic, but you didn’t care.

“Hey, can you look here?” Kuroo asked when your cries finally quieted.

Reluctantly you poked one eye through your fingers again.

“I would never mess with you. Those questions got aggressive, and I’m sorry about that. I could tell they were upsetting you. I should’ve stopped it,” he said as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I feel like I always say something when it’s too late, and that’s on me.”

The two of you laid silently for a second. Finally, you sighed into the grass. “I should’ve left when I felt uncomfortable. I’m not good at that,” you admitted.

Kuroo pushed himself up and moved to sit on his butt. “Come on, sit up.”

Slowly you did so, frantically wiping at your face with your sleeve before you turned to face him.

Kuroo just watched you as your breathing calmed. “Forget about the questions and the jersey, it’ll be irrelevant to them tomorrow.” He placed both hands on your shoulders as he looked at you with softened eyes.

You wiped your eyes again and nodded silently.

Leaning forward, Kuroo wrapped his arms around you and pulled you towards his chest. Your heart skipped a beat as you were enveloped by the larger man. His scent wafted into your nose as he got closer and you immediately felt calm. Earlier, when he hugged you it felt relieved. This time, it felt compassionate.

_“Weird how the same action can feel so different,”_ you mused as he continued squeezing you.

Instead of keeping your hands at your sides like you did earlier, you eventually slipped them under his arms. Pulling at the shirt on his back, you buried your head into his chest.

“I’m sorry I keep snapping on you,” you said though it came out muffled.

Kuroo rested his chin on the top of your head. “no apology necessary, you’re just being honest. You were feeling hurt, so you spoke up. It’s refreshing.”

“I’m not always like that,” you said lowly.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s bitchy, or whiny, or annoying. Plus, I’m dramatic.”

“Who told you that,” Kuroo said with a furrowed brow as he pulled back to look at you.

You didn’t dare say a word. _He_ used to tell you things like that, that’s why you stopped standing up for yourself. That’s part of the old you that was lost after dating him.

“Just because you’re bold and won’t stand for the shit that assholes put you through doesn’t make you annoying or a bitch,” Kuroo said as he dropped his arms to his lap.

“I know that,” you said as you closed your eyes. You didn’t want to admit it, but you missed his embrace.

“Then why are you apologizing?”

“Because you’re the only person I do this around! These outbursts, these glimpses into the real me,” you yelled out as your eyes snapped open. The alcohol was making you say more than you intended. Once you realized, your eyes were stinging again. “Fuck, let’s just go.”

You pushed to stand up on your feet.

“Wait,” Kuroo said as he reached out and grabbed your arm as he stood. The grip was familiar, and he realized it because he immediately let go. “Shit sorry. I was just going to say, you don’t need to hide who you are from me.”

You stood quietly for a moment. “I forgot who I am, and it’s just been ugly trying to find her again. So, I’m apologizing that you’ve seen the bad parts,” you said. He looked distraught when you finally let your eyes meet his again.

His hands twitched as he clenched and unclenched. “I’ve seen nothing bad so far.” Kuroo walked past you and down the sidewalk.

“Where are you going?” you called after him.

“I’m walking you home,” he said firmly.

The two of you walked in silence at first. You weren’t angry, now you just felt uncomfortable. Something you said had bothered Kuroo, but you weren’t sure what it was.

You walked a few steps behind him for a while. In the silence, you remembered a question you had for Kuroo. “Earlier, in the haunted house, when you said Yachi told you I was a fighter, what did you mean?”

Kuroo froze. He didn’t turn to you, “she just said you were strong, that’s all.”

You couldn’t see his face, but you had a feeling he wasn’t telling the whole truth.

The silence continued. The night was ruined for both of you, and the guilt was starting to set in. It wasn’t like Kuroo to be so quiet. You couldn’t help but feel like it was your responsibility to fix it.

“So, everyone has someone to wear their jersey huh?” you asked sarcastically figuring he would respond better to some banter.

Kuroo looked over his shoulder with a smirk pulling at his lips. “Yeah, they sure do.”

“Why don’t you ask one of those girls. The bunny girl seemed eager to wear it,” you tried to say it jokingly, but you couldn’t keep the bitterness out of your tone. “What are you guys, a thing?”

Kuroo stopped walking and turned to you. “What? Why would you think that?”

“Ummm, well wasn’t she the girl you hooked up with. Plus, she seemed pretty possessive over you,” you added as you walked past him.

“It was one time 3 years ago, and it was a mistake,” he called to you.

“Didn’t seemed like that to her,” you said as you stopped and turned around.

“I have no interest in those girls. I’m tired of having fake supporters. She only wants to be with me for one of two reasons. One, she thinks it looks cool to be with an athlete. Or two, she thinks I’m going to go pro.”

“You’re not?” you asked as you recalled Kuroo during the game. He was a great leader and an even greater player.

“Ha, believe it or not, I actually want to go to medical school,” he said as he continued walking to catch up to you.

You were a little shocked. It was unexpected for someone so ridiculous to want a career that was so serious. “Well, maybe she wants you because you’re going to be a rich doctor?”

“Ha, she doesn’t. She never even asked my major.”

The two of you continued walking quietly.

“Poor college heartthrob, captain, doctor Kuroo can’t get anyone to wear his jersey.” you broke the silence.

He tilted his head backward and scoffed. “I can’t believe you think so highly of me.”

You laughed back, “I think the world.” Suddenly that didn’t feel like a lie.

“Ohh Peach,” he said while draping an arm around you. Kuroo’s touch was starting to feel natural. “I thought I got you to hate me for a second there.”

“What gave you the impression I didn’t?” you asked while looking up to meet his eyes. His gaze held you locked in place as his eyes narrowed slightly.

“I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you hated me,” he broke your eye contact and looked up again. “I probably would just have to streak naked around your apartment until you gave me another chance.”

You started laughing again, and he smiled. Kuroo dropped your shoulders as you continued your trek.

“Is that why you got upset? You seemed particularly bothered after I answered your question. You jealous or something?” he threw in with a smirk and a nudge.

You clicked your tongue, “as if. I was just reminded of something, that’s all. Not a particularly pleasant memory.”

“Hmmm, wanna talk about it?”

Looking over to him, you took note of how the soft streetlights emphasized his features. It was almost like he looked more handsome in the dark. His eyes had a kindness to them that made your stomach flip.

You looked away, “I’m not sure if I can. At least not yet anyway.”

Kuroo didn’t press any further and you fell into silence again. After a while, the two of you finally turned the corner of the street your apartment was on.

“I’ll wear it,” you said hesitantly as you approached the building.

Kuroo glanced over at you, “it’s okay, you don’t have to.”

You shrugged, “I want to.”

The two of you were in front of your building, so he turned to face you. “Really?”

“I think you’d die from a broken heart if nobody did,” you responded jokingly.

“You aren’t wrong,” he teased back. “The game’s on Wednesday, so I’ll get it to you before then ok?”

You just nodded in agreement and you both stood quietly for a minute.

“This is home, right?” Kuroo asked.

You looked at the building. “Oh! Yeah, thanks. I’ll see you around,” you said as you slowly started walking through the entrance.

“Peach! Wait,” he said as he took a step towards the door.

You turned around to see his face was in his phone. “Yeah?” you questioned.

He looked up, “can you put your number in here? So, I can text you about the jersey,” he held the phone out with a sly look on his face.

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed it. He had already typed ‘Peach’ into the name, and you didn’t feel the urge to change it, so you just punched in your number.

“Goodnight,” you said as you handed his phone back.

“Sweet dreams,” he said quietly as you pushed through the entrance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It appears our reader's past has a bit more darkness to it than I originally intended. But more is to come on that explanation. Also, Kuroo as a doctor just really seems right to me. What I would give to be able to wear that man's jersey to a game tho... Playoff game on the horizon! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoyed it!


	11. The Ex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been putting this off for far too long, so I'm sorry for the wait. I just felt like I could not write the chapter like how I wanted. Since this is my first fic, I think I am struggling with having the feelings of the characters slowly change. I also confess to being a perfectionist and that doesn't help. 
> 
> Anyways, based on the title I'm sure you all know what's coming!!! Thank you for bearing with me and waiting, although it appears many of you have your own suspicions. 
> 
> Before we start, I want to give a brief warning, there is some further discussion of an abusive relationship. While it's been touched on in other chapters, it will be more important moving forward. I have been fortunate enough in my life to not have been in a relationship to this extent, so most of what I am writing will be dramatized and of my own imagination. However, it is very real and does happen to people, so I do not intend to invalidate their experience. If something seems over the top or unrealistic, just remember it's a story.
> 
> Anyways, hopefully, y'all catch my drift. Happy reading and enjoy the chapter!
> 
> MW

It wasn’t until Tuesday afternoon that you and Kuroo talked about the jersey again. He did send you a few texts before then, but it was mostly to make sure you had his number saved (which you did, but not without shamelessly naming his contact ‘Birdbrain’) and to explain why he wasn’t reaching out. Volleyball was taking up the majority of his free time since the playoff game was on the horizon. The team had actually started doing two practices a day just to prepare.

Truly though, you weren’t bothered. The entire campus was excited about the game, so you knew it was a big deal. Still, when he texted and asked when he could give you the jersey, you were surprised to find that you felt relieved. It was at least nice to know that he hadn’t totally forgotten or changed his mind.

Originally, he offered to bring it by your apartment, but Tuesdays you were typically on campus all day for classes. Often times you’d leave your apartment in the morning and not return until after dinner. Plus, the volleyball house was closer to the classroom buildings, so you figured it’d be easiest for you to just stop by while you were out.

At first, Kuroo was reluctant to make you pick it up, but once you explained you wouldn’t be home, he agreed. Both of you decided that you would pick it up in the early afternoon before their team dinner.

Now that it was November, the air was getting chilly. Not that you minded because colder weather typically meant cuter clothes. When you left the apartment this morning, you had put on a cable knit turtleneck sweater and some black jeans. Since you’d be doing some walking, you also decided to grab a thinner peacoat to wear as an extra coating.

As you walked from the fashion and design building to the volleyball house, you were thankful of your decision to layer. Even though it was the afternoon, your breath was still visible and you had to tuck your hands in your pockets to keep them from going numb.

When you reached the front door, you pulled your phone out to shoot Kuroo a text.

**Sent from You at 3:10 pm:** hey, I’m here. Not sure if I should knock or not lol

A response came through almost immediately.

**Sent from Kuroo at 3:11 pm:** Come in! I’m upstairs, be down in a sec

It felt a little awkward just entering the house, but you sucked in a deep breath and opened the door anyway. Since there were so many guys living there, you expected to see them scattered, which would make it even more uncomfortable. Surprisingly, however, the first floor was empty, and the house was quiet. You popped your head into a few rooms just to be sure nobody was around, and you didn’t see a soul.

“Hey,” you heard from behind you. Once again, you hadn’t heard Kuroo come up, so you jumped and gasped out of shock.

“Jesus, Kuroo. You really gotta stop doing that,” you said breathlessly while grasping your chest.

The tall boy scanned you briefly with a satisfied look on his face and then began laughing in response. When he threw his head back to chuckle, you took a moment to examine him. He was wearing dark sweatpants and a hoodie, and his hair was soaking wet like he’d just gotten out of the shower. Oddly enough, it still mostly held its disheveled shape even when drenched.

Your face grew uncomfortably warm as you realized how undoubtedly handsome, he was. Of course, you’d noticed it before, for some cursed reason all the volleyball boys were attractive. But something in Kuroo's smile never failed to remind you that he was uniquely stunning. Messy black hair, a tall yet strong figure, and the most charming of all - his cat-like eyes. Biting the inside of your cheek, you internally berated yourself for suddenly feeling like a middle school girl who was secretly admiring a crush.

When he finally stopped laughing, he pulled you out of your self-loathing by saying, “Ok, so truth be told I’m trying to find the jersey right now. I swear I put it out last night because I had just washed it, but now it’s gone.”

“Oh,” you replied. A strange disappointment began settling in your stomach, but you decided if you didn’t wear the jersey it was probably for the best. Especially if you were going to start acting like a blushing idiot around the normally infuriating Kuroo. “Well don’t worry about it, I don’t have to wear –”

“No!” Kuroo interrupted with what seemed like more enthusiasm than he intended because his eyes grew wide with shock. “No, it’s up there, I promise,” he tried again with more composure. “Would you mind just coming up for a second while I look in a few more places?”

Suspicion rose within you. It was possible that it was only the two of you in the house, and now he was inviting you up to his room. A brief feeling of exhilaration made your chest feel warm, but it was instantly replaced by cold anxiety. You felt your palms grow clammy and start trembling slightly. You made a fist in order to keep him from noticing.

It’d been so long since you’d been with anyone intimately. Plus, you weren’t particularly fond of your last memory of when you were. For a moment, a scene flashed through your head and you swore you could feel hot hands gripping your wrists too tightly despite nobody touching you at all. The anxiety twisted in your stomach, making you feel sick.

Pulling your eyes from where they were fallen onto your shoes, you looked up at Kuroo. Forcing yourself to look into his eyes, you weren’t met with lust or mischief. Instead, you were taken back by how kindly he was looking at you. It was amazing the range of expression this man could convey with just his eyes alone.

Mesmerized by his gaze, you slowly felt your apprehension fall away. Kuroo hadn’t done anything to gain your mistrust, if anything he’d looked out for you. You figured if he had wanted to pull something, he likely would’ve done it already. Besides, Kuroo would’ve been interested in someone like the old you, not who you were now.

The thought stung a little, but you knew it was the truth. Releasing a soft sigh, you unfolded your fingers and nodded. “Okay, yeah.”

The two of you trudged upstairs talking about what you’d been up to the past few days. Kuroo ended up confessing that you weren’t alone in the house, just that almost everyone was in their rooms either resting or working on schoolwork. Even though you decided Kuroo wasn’t a threat, it was still good to hear.

Kuroo had one of the last bedrooms in the hallways. He said he picked it because it was tucked away and stayed mostly quiet. Now that you knew he was a science nerd, you figured it made sense that he’d want it for studying purposes.

You weren’t really sure what kind of room you expected to walk into, but you were pleasantly surprised by what you saw. Standing in the doorway, you let your eyes wander around the room. The dark-haired boy didn’t notice your scrutiny because he immediately began rummaging through drawers and bags to find the jersey.

It didn’t look like a typical “college boy’s” room. There was a matching furniture set made of dark wood, a simple desk with an oversized monitor, and a larger bed that was neatly made. Behind his bed he had a Japanese wave tapestry hanging, and some other simple decorations scattered on the empty walls. It was… nice.

You always felt like your living space was important because it gave critical insight into your personality. For you, your room was the one thing you could control when your life seemed to be spiraling. It was filled with your favorite things and passions, some of which you didn’t share with others.

Seeing Kuroo’s room definitely gave you insight into the side of him that he didn’t really show others. Although, he’d openly welcomed you in, so it didn’t seem like a side he had hidden it either. Still, you were surprised by what you saw. He was clearly neat, organized, and his room seemed mature (certainly something you were astonished by).

He had some photos hanging neatly on the wall opposite of the door, but they were too far away to see. You were about to take a few steps closer to look at them when Kuroo bolted up from off the floor.

“FOUND IT!”

You looked at the crumpled black jersey that he was waving like a trophy in his hands. “How’d it get on the floor?” you teased as you crossed your arms and leaned against the doorframe.

“Great question, but it will remain a mystery,” Kuroo answered as he walked over to hand it to you.

“Aren’t you a scientist, shouldn’t everything have a logical explanation?” you continued to jest. Lately, you were realizing you enjoyed messing with Kuroo. He wasn’t easy to rile up, but it felt comfortable.

Kuroo looked at you inquisitively as he placed one finger on his lips. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed, and he shifted his eyes off to the side like he was thinking. “I think there are things even science can’t explain, at least not yet. Plus, science is basically made up anyways.”

“Mmmm,” you hummed with am interested smirk on your face. “How so?”

Kuroo took a step back and leaned against his desk. He crossed his legs and folded his arms in a position that mimicked yours. His eyes narrowed as his expression grew more serious.

“Well, take chemistry for example. Chemical bonds and connections are our way of explaining how atoms stick together. But how does the bond actually work? We assume things like electrons are shared, but we can’t locate them with absolute certainty, and we can’t really see them. All laws we make are just efforts to explain what is happening around us. However, it’s all just a product of human speculation and thought. There are even a lot of things we don’t know about humans like….” he must’ve noticed a change in your expression because he hesitated. “I-I’m sorry, that was a rhetorical question wasn’t it?”

At some point during his rambling, your eyes enlarged, and your mouth fell open slightly in amazement. What you would normally deem as nerdy, you found fascinating when Kuroo was talking. Honestly, you would’ve let him go on for much longer. He seemed so confident in his answer that you were entranced by what he had to say.

“N-no, I’m just surprised,” your own voice now seemed soft and unfamiliar. Your cheeks dusted a soft pink when you realized Kuroo noticed your change in tone also. “That’s very profound of you Birdbrain,” you threw in, trying to keep the energy between you from changing too much.

Kuroo’s eyes went from wide in excitement to understanding. He cackled while pushing a hand through his messy hair. “Peach, you always keep me humble.”

You chuckled to yourself and played with the jersey in your hands. Somewhere deep down, you could feel dull but genuine happiness. “Well I have another class starting soon, so I should head back.”

“I’ll walk you out!” Kuroo said as he nearly jumped off his desk.

“No, it’s ok!” you insisted, not wanting him to see you any more flustered than you already were. “I think I can find my way out. Good luck tomorrow, since I probably won’t see you beforehand.”

You really did want them to do well tomorrow, so you flashed him one of your authentic smiles. It wasn’t one you often gave anymore, but it was the one that your mom would say was the brightest. One time she even told you it was why people used to be so drawn to you.

For a moment you thought you saw his cheeks go pink as awe spread across his features. “Yeah, ok, thank you,” he said softly. Now it was your turn to notice a change in his tone.

Giving a quick wave, you turned around and walked off. There was a familiar fluttering in your stomach again. You picked up the pace as you could tell the dark-haired boy’s eyes were fixed on your back. Today’s interaction with him was weird, but not a bad weird. The kind of weird that leaves you wondering, ‘what if.’

You pressed your lips into a thin line trying to keep from smiling. However, your smile fell completely when you thought about how it was likely in your head. Kuroo was friendly and enjoyed seeing you flustered, you were just misreading the situation and playing into his hand. Your mind flickered to moments earlier when you convinced yourself that he’d never be interested in the person you were today. You huffed quietly in resignation and continued walking.

_‘Don’t be stupid,’_ you thought as you turned the corner abruptly to walk down the steps. It was so fast that you didn’t see the other person heading up the stairs.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry,” you said as you tried to regain your balance. When your eyes focused on who was in front of you, you were delighted to see it was Suga. Just being around him seemed to make you lose all of your negative thoughts.

“[Y/N]! I’m so happy to see you. I heard you were at the party Saturday, but I was bummed I didn’t get a chance to see you. Akaashi said your costume was awesome.”

You laughed, a smile returning. “Hi, Suga. Yeah, I wasn’t there for very long. I saw you and Daichi though, your dog costume was so cute!”

He gave one of his award-winning smiles while throwing you a double ‘thumbs up.’ “Thank you!” His eyes fell down to the bundle of fabric in your hands. With a mischievous grin, he said, “Oh ho ho, what do we have here?”

Everything, including your ears, started to feel warm. The boy in front of you was wiggling his eyebrows in a knowing way that made your skin crawl. “I-It’s just Kuroo’s alternate jersey. He said everyone has someone wearing theirs, so I’m wearing his,” you said while turning to stuff the jersey into your bag. “As a friend of course!” you added perhaps a little too aggressively.

Suga turned his lips inward as he tried to contain his laughter. “Right, as a friend,” he reiterated. “But hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. So, the game tomorrow is at a neutral location like an hour and a half away, would you want to carpool? Iwaizumi may come too if he isn’t traveling with the trainers.”

Thankful he didn’t press on, you were slightly embarrassed to say that you hadn’t even thought about where the game would be. Yachi had been busy lately, so hadn’t gotten a chance to ask her. Of course, you had your car on campus, but an hour and a half was a long way to travel by yourself.

Your decision was made, “that actually sounds great!”

His face lit up with enthusiasm. “Okay, I’ll drive since I know where we are going. The game is at 5 so I’ll pick you up around 3? We may have to eat concession food, or we can just grab something quick on the way.”

It seemed like Suga had an entire game watching strategy. You couldn’t help but chuckle at how prepared he was. “Either sounds good, I’ll be ready at 3 o’clock.”

“Amazing, I’ll see you then!”

The two of you said your goodbyes and headed your separate ways.

As you walked out the door and back into the brisk air, you felt something you hadn’t in a while – excitement. It wasn’t mixed with anxiety or insecurities; you were just genuinely excited.

Maybe it was just Suga’s mood rubbing off on you, but you truly felt like the game would be fun. Looking up, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. _‘This is good. Things are good.’_

When you had tried on the jersey yesterday, you were amazed at how big it was. Of course, Kuroo was much taller than you were, so it was long. But with how loose it was, you realized that he was a lot broader as well. It was way too baggy to tuck in or tie in any way, so you decided it would probably look best as some sort of dress. Since it was still cold, you put a white turtleneck underneath and grabbed some knee-high boots. Slipping a belt around your waist, you pulled it tight, so it looked a bit more feminine.

Admittedly, it was a cute outfit. You hadn’t worn another jersey before, even though your ex used to play. He had never thought to offer his jersey, his excuse being that it was cheesy or stupid. It looked good on you, and you weren’t quite sure how you felt about that.

Your eyes fell on the number as you stood in the mirror staring. A smile slowly spread across your features, and you turned away from your reflection. You had come to terms with your thoughts about Kuroo. Neither of you were in the market for anything. You still didn’t feel ready for a relationship, and Kuroo was a senior graduating in the spring. Blaming the weird interaction you had on your inexperience and hormones, you settled on the idea that the two of you were just friends. Still, knowing the list of people you considered friends was expanding made you happy enough to smile.

_‘Stupid birdbrain, you better win today,’_ you thought while you shook your head and walked away.

Shortly after that, you got a text from Suga saying that he was on his way. Grabbing your bag, you decided to wait downstairs. When he arrived, you noticed him wearing a jersey as well. Although, that wasn’t surprising since you knew it was Daichi’s number. For a moment you panicked thinking about how it would look if all the other players had their significant others wearing their jersey. Surely people would assume things about you and Kuroo, which would just add fuel to the already existing rumors.

Breathing deeply, you tossed the notion aside as you pushed through the doors of your building. Kuroo had said he asked you as a friend, and you were wearing it as a friend. As long as the two of you knew that, then it didn’t matter what people thought or said.

All of your worries vanished as you opened the car door and were slammed with Suga’s radiating energy. From the moment that you met Suga, you knew the two of you would get along. You could just tell he was a ball of optimism and support, something you’ve desperately needed. However, it wasn’t until your drive together that you realized just how incredible he is.

The two of you spent the entire duration singing, laughing, and just sharing stories. Suga was the one doing most of the sharing, but he didn’t seem to mind. He talked a lot about high school and all his memories with his team. The Karasuno team truly just seemed like something out of a tv show.

It also became clear that he wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine, he was also bold and a force to be reckoned with if necessary. You supposed you should’ve guessed that from his cheering outburst at the first game you went to, but the more stories he told, the more it seemed like a trend.

Once again you found yourself admiring the silver-haired boy. Although the current you adored him, you knew that the old you would’ve really related to him. It was strange to think about how your personality was once so similar to his. Part of you wondered if you’d ever gain it back. The thought that you wouldn’t was unsettling, so you tried to suppress it to remember how excited you were for the day.

The two of you pulled up to the gymnasium right on schedule. The game wasn’t going to start for another half an hour, but Suga was always there for warm-ups which were bound to begin soon. You didn’t mind, even watching the boys before the game was captivating.

Suga had mentioned how Iwaizumi traveled with the athletic trainers, but he wasn’t needed so he was waiting for you both inside. When you found him, you noticed he too was wearing a jersey; it was Oikawa’s. A lump grew in your throat, but you quickly swallowed it down.

_‘I’m wearing it as a friend, and that’s allowed.’_ You repeated in your head like a mantra. Although now it felt like you were trying to convince yourself.

Looking at the two boys, you were reminded that you came to support your people. Whether they were in the stands, on the sideline, or in the game, there were people here that you cared about and wanted to succeed. Remembering that helped clear some of the gloomy thoughts out of your head. “Should we go find a seat?” you asked.

They both nodded and you walked off.

_____________________________________________________________

**~Locker Room POV~**

Yachi was screwed. The past week or so had been an absolute shitshow. Normally she was well prepared for the pre-game meetings, but this time she didn’t even check the opposing team’s roster.

She’d been so distracted by Kageyama, and then suddenly school picked up. She even had to skip several practices in order to catch up (conveniently the ones where they met to discuss the opposing team). Originally, she had planned to read through the packet and re-watch some of the film on the bus ride over, but she had fallen asleep.

So here she was, sitting in the meeting listening to the coach talk about the opponent and knowing nothing about the team other than that Hinata plays on it. She and Hinata had lost touch over the years, so he never really told her much. He and Kageyama still spoke a lot, but Kageyama didn’t often talk about Hinata’s new team. Sometimes, Yachi thought it was because he was a bit jealous. The two had been a dynamic duo in high school and Kageyama hadn’t made a strong connection with another hitter since, so it was understandable.

With a deep sigh, Yachi tried to stand motionless in the back. Sometimes the coach asked her to say a few words before the game or discuss any strategies, but she prayed today wasn’t one of those days. If he did, she was listening carefully to see if she could reword any of the things he had already mentioned and coin them as her own.

That’s when she heard it, a name that made her mouth taste like bile.

“Their orange-haired spiker is always a concern. He’s fast so be on your toes. However, the setter is the one that controls the court. Keep your eyes on him at all times. Miya was one of Japan’s best high school setters, don’t forget that,” the coach spoke into the crowd of eager boys.

Yachi’s blood immediately went to ice. The color drained from her face as the coach continued his talk.

_‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. No. I didn’t hear him right, there’s no way.’_ Yachi panicked. Kuroo was standing nearby her, so she nudged him to get his attention.

He partly turned his head but kept his eyes focused on the coach. She couldn’t blame him, Kuroo was in game mode, he always entered it long before the match even started.

“Give me your roster sheet, I need to see something,” Yachi whispered while extending an open hand.

He handed her the paper he was holding and turned completely back to the coach.

Yachi’s eyes scanned the paper rapidly. Sure enough, there it was. Atsumu Miya, number 13. Fighting the urge to vomit or pass out or both, Yachi’s eyes flew to the top of the page.

_‘They are the fucking Black Jackals, not the Coyotes. Shit, how did I not know this?’_

Her hands began to tremble, and she could feel her palms grow slick with sweat.

“Fuck,” she said a little too loudly, which resulted in Kuroo turning back to look at her. His eyebrow was raised in confusion, but the coach was still talking so he didn’t say a word.

Yachi stood motionless for the rest of the speech. She prayed it would end soon. She needed to call you immediately and at the bare minimum warn you if not advise you to go home.

Thankfully the coach only spoke for a few more minutes before ushering the boys out to start warm-ups. Yachi hung back and whipped her phone out of her pocket as the locker room emptied. Kuroo had noticed her strange behavior and stayed nearby.

When almost everyone was out and Yachi began punching digits into her phone, Kuroo spoke up. “Hey, you good?”

Yachi looked up with a terrified expression. Kuroo’s eyes instinctively widened as he was thrown off guard. “What happened? What’s wrong?” he asked frantically trying to discover the source of his friend’s panic.

“He’s here. I didn’t look at the damn roster, and he plays on this team,” Yachi said with a shaky voice.

“Who’s _he_? Yachi, I need more here.”

“[Y/N]’s ex.”

Kuroo froze and his body stiffened. Before the double date, Yachi and Kuroo had been casually chatting after practice when she let it slip that you had been in an abusive relationship. He hadn’t gotten all the details (he wasn’t even sure Yachi knew all the details), but he knew it was really ugly. She’d basically let on that it was both emotionally and physically scaring for you. At the time it had made his blood boil, and he felt that similar feeling again. He wanted nothing more than to smash the guy’s face in for even looking at you the wrong way.

“Who?” he growled lowly. His eyes narrowed and he looked damn near animalistic.

“Atsumu Miya,” Yachi basically sobbed out. She immediately clasped a hand over her mouth as she clicked the call button and held her phone to her ear.

Kuroo stood in front of her clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to control the dam of anger that was threatening to burst. Just then, the locker room door swung open and the coach popped his head back in.

“Kuroo, what are you doing? We need you out here for warm-ups.”

Kuroo looked back at Yachi with a mix of fury and concern in his eyes. Glancing between the Coach and the phone in Yachi’s hand, it was clear he was torn between two things he cared deeply about.

________________________________________________________________

The three of you made your way through the halls of the gym building, weaving between the crowds of people.

“You know, [Y/N], you look pretty good in a team jersey,” Suga said with an inflection that you knew meant he was insinuating something else.

“Tch, whatever. The kid was going to cry if I didn’t agree to wear it,” you shot back trying to hide your flush by looking away.

Your response elicited a laugh from the stoic Iwaizumi. “That sounds like him, that’s for sure,” he said.

“Either way, I think this makes you an official member of the ‘Mom Squad’ don’t you think Iwa?” Suga asked looking around you to see the other boy.

He groaned softly. “It’s not really a squad if it’s just you and me.”

Suga protested and threw his hands on his hips. “Ummm Akaashi is technically part of it too, he just so happens to also play on the team.”

“Doesn’t count,” was all Iwaizumi said in response.

You laughed when the silver-haired boy began to pout. Trying to join in on the conversation, you turned around and began walking backward as you spoke head-on with the two boys.

“I mean I’m honored to be in a squad with the two of you, but if being a mom means babysitting Kuroo’s ass, count me out.”

The two boys chuckled in response.

Just when you were about to turn around and start walking normally, your back made contact with something hard. Apparently, someone had just walked around the corner of another hallway and the two of you collided.

“Ope, I’m sorry –” you said as you stumbled forward and started to turn around.

“My bad,” the person said at the same time as you.

When the voice registered in your head, you wanted to stop turning. You wanted to stop turning and just run off in the direction you were facing without looking at said person. But you couldn’t, your momentum was already spinning you, and there was no stopping.

Staring at the chest of the guy in front of you, a soft whimper escaped your lips.

“Oh, shit… well this is unexpected,” he said with a tone full of both annoyance and curiosity.

Looking up, you couldn’t bring yourself to say another word. Standing before you was Osamu Miya, the twin brother of your ex-boyfriend, Atsumu Miya. Confusion followed by dread washed over your entire body.

Osamu had never done anything directly bad to you, but he also never did anything at all. He always knew the way his brother treated you, and sometimes he would even watch it happen. On many occasions, you knew he was just around the corner when Atsumu would hit you or grab you too harshly or say something degrading. It was part of the reason you felt so helpless, there were witnesses, but they were just bystanders.

_‘W-what is he doing here,’_ you thought before the realization struck you. When it finally occurred to you that Osamu was probably here to watch Atsumu, time froze. The crowd around you seemed to fall silent, and all of the colors faded from the world. It looked like a nightmare. No, it was a nightmare.

What felt like an eternity to you was a mere second for everyone else.

“This’ll be interesting,” Osamu said while disregarding your silence and walking away.

You didn’t move, you just continued to stare straight ahead at nothing. Finally, after another moment, Suga nudged you.

“[Y/N], isn’t that one of the Miya Twins? Do you know him? Are you ok, you look sick?”

Ignoring your friend’s rambling questions, you b-lined for the nearest restroom. Shoving through the door, you ran to the first stall and released your stomach contents into the toilet. When you were done, you slid down the stall door behind you and pulled your knees to your chest. Hot tears slipped down your cheeks, and you chocked back your sobs. Your entire body began trembling uncontrollably.

_‘Hinata plays for the fucking Black Jackals, not the fucking Coyotes. God damnit Yachi, you fucking idiot.’_ It felt wrong to blame Yachi, but you wanted to feel something other than sadness and fear, so anger seemed like the next best option.

Your throat and chest felt tight as the panic attack quickly overcame you. Just then, you could feel your phone buzzing in your purse. You didn’t pick it up, but when it started ringing again, you reached down to silence it. However, when you turned it over you caught a glimpse of the caller, and you knew you needed to answer.

“Oh my god. [Y/N], I’m so sorry. This week… I was… I didn’t check… I’m so sorry,” Yachi sounded panicked herself as she stumbled over her words.

There was silence for a second. Part of you wanted to scream at her. This was the worst possible thing that could’ve happened, and it was so avoidable. You wanted to scream and call her an idiot, but deep down you knew it wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t make you feel any better, if anything it would probably make you feel worse. 

“Chi, I ran into Osamu,” you basically squeaked out.

You started sniffling into the phone as you tossed your head back and bit your knuckle to keep more tears from falling. Here you were, an hour and a half away from home, without a car, to watch a person play volleyball that you hoped you’d never see again in your entire life.

Not only that, but you prayed he would never see you again. Things had gotten really bad after the incident, and it was the final straw to finally break things off. Since breaking up wasn’t his idea, and since it had gone so poorly, you were sure there was still resentment as well as some unspoken words.

“What can I do? How can I help?” Yachi asked desperately.

You honestly didn’t have an answer for her. You didn’t want to ask Suga to leave when the game was so important. Plus, he was likely to actually want to leave if he knew the situation, which made you feel worse. Throwing your head down into your knees you caught a glimpse of the black jersey.

“Oh god,” you whimpered.

“What? What’s wrong? Where are you?” you heard on the other line.

The jersey. You were in someone else’s jersey, and there was no way Osamu didn’t notice. Atsumu was so possessive over you when the two of you were together, once he basically choked you out for talking too long with another guy. If he saw you wearing another guy’s clothes, he was likely to harass you about it at a minimum; even if you weren’t together.

“[Y/N]! Hello? Are you ok?” Yachi yelled, but it seemed distant.

**IF,** the words suddenly seemed to stick out like a neon sign. He was probably already warming up, so Osamu wouldn’t be able to tell him he saw you until after. All you had to do was avoid him seeing you, and you would be fine.

Suddenly you felt you could breathe again. Blending in and being unnoticeable, that was something he forced you to be good at. Maybe it would actually be worth something today.

“I’m okay,” you finally said. “I just need to lay low.”

Yachi responded with silence.

“I’ll be fine as long as he doesn’t see me.”

“Are you sure? Why don’t you just go home?”

“No, I can’t do that to Suga. I’ll be fine,” you insisted.

“[Y/N], I really don’t –” Yachi was cut off and suddenly another voice came on the phone.

“Peach?”

Your breath hitched in your throat as your grip tightened around your phone.

“Peach, you don’t have to be here if you don’t want to be. Don’t worry about anyone else, think about yourself for once.”

Your eyes began to sting again. Kuroo’s voice sounded worried and urgent, so you weren’t sure how, but you assumed he knew what was going on. Embarrassment and anxiety flooded into you like water in a bowl. When you thought you couldn’t bear it anymore, you felt another emotion floating up from the depths. It was guilt, and slowly it was growing much stronger than the other two.

Guilt that Kuroo, Yachi, and probably now Suga and Iwaizumi were worried about you. Guilt that you were disrupting the game. Guilt that you couldn’t even pull yourself together long enough to support your friends. Guilt that you let yourself get to this point.

With a quivering lip, you spoke into the receiver. “I am thinking about myself. I want to be here for you – I mean all of you.” You paused. “I can’t let him control my life forever. At some point, I have to keep living.”

Kuroo was quiet, then you heard an older man yelling distantly on the other end.

“Hey, Peach? I’ve got to go, but I’ll find you right after the game okay?”

You started nodding slowly, but then realized he couldn’t see you, so you squeaked out an “okay” before the phone was given back to Yachi.

“Are you really sure this is the right thing?” She asked.

“I can do it; I have to do it.”

More yelling came on the other end.

“Alright, I have to go too. I’m so sorry this happened. I’m so sorry,” she whimpered.

“S’okay… just kick their ass and I’ll be happy enough.” You said softly while pulling your legs tighter to your chest.

Yachi scoffed on the other end, “beating him in volleyball isn’t nearly enough.” That was the last thing she said before the two of you exchanged goodbyes.

You smiled into the receiver but said nothing in return. The two of you exchanged goodbyes. You weren’t entirely sold on your decision, but you were already here, and you didn’t want any more people to know about the situation than already did. Making it through the game was the only option for redeeming what small amount of dignity you had left.

_‘So much for being excited about today,’_ you thought before taking a few more moments to let your rapid heartbeat settle. When you finally stepped out of the stall, you were headed for the sink when the bathroom door swung open.

Suga stood there in the doorway with his eyes squeezed shut. “[Y/N]!” he yelled. “Just let me know you’re okay, and I’ll go find us some seats. If you don’t, I’m coming in here and I’m figuring out what’s wrong.”

After the initial shock faded, a small laugh left your lips. Suga really was one of those people who would risk anything to protect others, even if it meant embarrassing himself or others. It was yet another thing you admired about him.

“I’ll be okay.” You replied softly. “I’ll text you in a minute to see where the seats are.”

Suga opened one eye and looked towards your direction when he heard your voice close by. You tried to turn away, but he definitely saw your tear-stained face and puffy eyes because his shoulders slumped in sadness.

“Are you sure you’re okay? We can go home if you nee—” he started.

“NO,” you practically yelled. “This is a big game, and you’re here to support Daichi. Iwaizumi is here to support Oikawa. I’m here to support… well, the guys and Yachi!” You insisted as you stared down into the sink drain.

Even though you truly did feel like you were there to cheer for all of them, only one face flashed into your head. You looked up slightly to stare at the jersey. It scared you that Kuroo knew what was happening, but for some reason, you also felt comforted. Almost like you weren’t worried about telling him or him finding out, because he already knew. Of course, you’d probably wish it didn’t happen later, but for now, you remembered how his voice sounded on the phone – like maybe he would even protect you.

“Okay, I’ll go find some seats,” Suga said, though you could tell he was unconvinced you were alright.

After a few minutes, you decided you were ready to go look for them. Part of you wished you had just toughened up before and went to found seats with them. That way you could’ve ensured you weren’t too close to the court. The first part of not being seen meant actually staying out of sight.

When you found the two boys, they were seated in the middle of the stands. It wasn’t a bad location, but it wasn’t a great one either. They had saved you a seat, so you wormed your way down the section to them.

As you sat next to Suga, you felt the familiar tightness arise as you refused to look at the court. The Black Jackals had never played your school’s team in the past, so you were confused as to why they were now.

It was as though he read your mind because the next words out of Suga’s mouth contained an explanation about how the school conferences changed this year. Thankfully seeing Daichi must’ve distracted him from you because he was rambling about how this was a historic game, rather than questioning you.

After a few more moments you finally convinced yourself to look up. Your gaze traveled in slow motion as your eyes headed directly towards the opposing team’s side of the court. Despite the loud gymnasium, all you could hear was the rapid pumping of blood in your ears. Sure enough, when you focused your gaze, you caught a glimpse of your ex-boyfriend: Atsumu Miya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE IT IS. Some of you already guessed it, so congrats. However, didn't answer the comments because I didn't want future readers to read them and spoil it for themselves. While I am making Atsumu the villain of the story I am entirely afraid I am going to fall in love with him during the new episodes that are CURRENTLY COMING OUT. Clearly, I am excited. But anyway, if you are an Atsumu simp, I sincerely apologize. Truly I think the image of him being a bad guy just kinda works. 
> 
> Second note: I know Bokuto would also be on the Black Jackals, but it just didn't work out for my story. I needed him to be at the same school as Akaashi in order for their story to work. While this is a minor change, I'm sorry to those who it will probably bother. 
> 
> Also, it has truly been so difficult to express the torn and confused feelings of our reader. I think it's because I take things as so black and white but she's currently in a grey area. Anyways, I will do my best to not totally confuse all of you and ruin the story. 
> 
> Alright people, let the games begin... Can our reader avoid being noticed by her ex? Let's wait and see!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH I've been literally editing this chapter for weeks. I'm afraid if I don't post it now I'll just keep finding ways to change it. I think it's good enough and I wanted to keep the story moving.
> 
> Warning, this chapter depicts acts of abuse and sexual assault. While it is fictional and dramatized, it is still a very sensitive topic, so please be cautious about that as you read. It is basically the entire last half of the chapter, so if you want to read until then, stop at "...made your knees turn to jelly."
> 
> As always, thank you guys for reading and commenting! It's been super fun to know you guys like my story.
> 
> Happy reading  
> MW

Immediately you tore your gaze away from the court. It’d been almost a year since the two of you broke up, but he looked nearly the same. His charisma, confidence, and irrefutable good looks were hard traits to miss. To everyone else, he always seemed damn near perfect. You were initially drawn to all of those traits, but it ultimately led you to see an ugly side of him that few knew existed.

Instinctively your hands began trembling and your breathing became uneven and forced. It felt like weight was slowly being added to your chest as you dropped your head and focused your eyes on your knees.

Without realizing, your reaction must have been obvious enough to pull Suga’s attention away from the court.

“Hey,” he said softly while laying a delicate hand on your shoulder. “How can I help?”

You didn’t meet his gaze right away, but you were a little dumbfounded. It was often that people asked ‘how they could help’ rather than ‘what was wrong.’ Since you never wanted to talk about what was wrong, your prepared answer was always ‘I’m fine’ or ‘It’s nothing.’

Slowly you sat up straight and pulled your eyes from your own legs and moved them to Suga’s face. He looked concerned but sincere.

There was something you needed from Suga. Inhaling deeply, a feeling of overwhelming guilt washed over you as you prepared to make a request of the silver-haired boy. “C-could you just not do that thing… um,” you hesitated and looked back down. “Um, the thing where you cheer before Daichi’s serves.” You said the last part nearly too quiet to hear.

It had come to your attention that the cheering was almost routine for both him and Daichi, so the question tasted bitter as it fell from your lips. You didn’t want either of them to be thrown off, especially not today. However, if he were to go through with it, it would most certainly spoil your plans of staying hidden.

You didn’t get an initial response, so you slowly turned to look at him again. He looked disappointed, but quickly his expression morphed into one of empathy when your eyes met his. “Sure, of course,” he said while giving you a bright smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

A sigh of relief escaped you when he didn’t ask any clarifying questions. He only tapped on your shoulder lightly before turning back to the court. Despite some of the weight feeling alleviated, your hands still shook softly, and your stomach was doing backflips. Holding your bag tightly to your chest, you bent over slightly as you sat. It wasn’t entirely comfortable, but it would help keep you somewhat hidden behind the row of people in front of you.

After a few more moments, when the boys were getting ready to start the game, you slowly pulled your eyes back up to the court. With a shaky breath, you aimed your line of sight for the Huskies. With slightly pursed lips you sucked air in and out as quietly as you could while you tried to keep your attention on the people you were here to support.

Letting your gaze wander among the boys you now considered friends; you found two familiar yet comforting eyes instantly. Kuroo was standing at the back of the court, staring deliberately at you. You couldn’t see clearly, but you could tell his eyes were bursting with concern.

With a sad scoff, your lips turned up in a forced smile. _‘Focus on the game, damn Birdbrain.’_

Tugging at the jersey you were wearing, you attempted to silently remind him why he was there. You didn’t want Kuroo to worry about you right now. Not with the game being so important, and him being such a pivotal member of the team. You hoped that by bringing his attention to the jersey, it would focus him on what really mattered at that moment.

Almost immediately his demeanor changed. You couldn’t quite identify what replaced his anxiety, but it resulted in him nervously turning away from you quickly. A smirk tugged at his lips and he shook his head softly as he faced forward and began walking to shake the other team’s hand. For a moment, you thought you saw his ear tint with soft pink, but you were too far away to tell.

Though it made you feel better to know you eased some of the bed-headed boy’s tension, there was something nagging at you. How much did Kuroo know about what was going on? Kuroo was lined up in the captain’s spot, which you knew made him the opposite of Atsumu. If he truly was aware of yours and Atsumu’s past relationship, it would be confirmed in this handshake.

Keeping your eyes glued to Kuroo, you refused to look elsewhere. With each step, you saw his smile drop, and his aura growing darker. When he extended a hand, you held your breath and waited to see his reaction. When the two captains made contact, you instantly winced and turned your head away. Every muscle of Kuroo’s body seemed tense, particularly in his arms and shoulders. Somehow the boy had succeeded in making himself look larger than usual. It was clear he was trying to intimidate Atsumu if not assert his dominance.

He knew; there was no way he didn’t.

Shutting your eyes, you refused to let any tears of shame fall right now. You’d hoped that very few people were ever made aware of what happened to you. Although you didn’t think highly of yourself anymore, it would be devastating if others didn’t either. That’s why you intended to finish college by laying low, keep from building connections, and generally just heal.

Pressing your mouth into a thin line, you forced hot breaths through your nose. Suddenly your mind was filled with flashes of Kuroo. Mostly of him laughing or smiling, the moments you liked to secretly watch with admiration. You remembered how you felt in the bathroom like maybe him knowing wasn’t such a bad thing. With one last deep breath, you subconsciously hoped that he would be different; that he would support you, not judge or pity you.

Turning your head back to the court, you willed yourself to look at the other side of the net. The teams were all still standing there, and you took note of Atsumu’s casual response to Kuroo’s reaction. It was unsurprising considering you knew how he liked to secretly agitate those around him while maintaining his innocent façade. Since he was under the scope of the public, any outburst he had was bound to be malicious in a way that nobody else would notice. Just then, you briefly saw Atsumu’s lips move as he said something before turning away in laughter. When Kuroo turned back he looked furious to the point of basically foaming at the mouth.

Catching his eye before he walked to the bench, you didn’t miss the slight look of panic hidden beneath his rage. For a moment your heart fluttered as concern raced through you. Was it something about the team? Did Atsumu assume you knew Kuroo because Yachi was the manager? Or worse, had Atsumu already seen you? The thought made your skin crawl.

In a flash, you looked at the back of the boy with partially dyed hair. If he had seen you, he hadn’t let on. It gave you some reprieve to think that if he had noticed you, he likely would’ve found pleasure in making sure you knew he was aware of your presence.

The next person you looked towards was Yachi. Standing on the sidelines, she was clutching her clipboard to her chest tightly. Her already pale skin had a tint of green, and the bags under her eye seemed visible even from where you were sitting across the gym. She had a rough week, and this definitely was just the icing on the cake.

You and she hadn’t made eye contact, but she was trying to stay focused on the team. You watched her for a bit as her eyes continued to flit over to the opponents’ side of the court. Every time her gaze fell on Atsumu, she would tear them away and busy herself with writing on her clipboard. Yachi didn’t know everything about what happened to you, but she knew enough to feel disgusted by the Black Jackals captain.

Shortly after, the game was underway. To everyone else, the game looked like a competitive match. To you, it almost seemed like the tension was leaking off the court like a thick fog. You’ve seen both teams play before, so you knew they were good. Each was willing to fight with their heart and soul to stay in the game.

Not only that, but you could feel the negative energy of the players as well. In many instances, you would catch Kuroo scowling at Atsumu, only to receive a devilish smirk in return. Several times, you would see either captain making contact with the ball more harshly than what you had seen in the past. A silent war was going down below, and you were suddenly thankful for the net being a physical divider between them.

As you watched the rest of the game, you tried to keep your focus on your team’s side. Seeing Atsumu when you didn’t expect to was hard enough. Watching him do the thing that he loved while all of his teammates and fans supporting him, broke your spirit. As much as he was pissed about being broken up with, he wasn’t upset about losing you. The relationship between the two of you had never made a lasting impact on him, and that was painfully obvious now.

The more the game played out, the more your fear evolved into sadness. That was your only long-term relationship, and it changed you for the worse. It had left so many scars, some that were externally visible, and others that were not. Thinking back, you often wondered if you regretted your relationship. You always came to the conclusion that of course, you regretted loving someone who hit you, hurt you, and humiliated you. However, you also realized that you probably would’ve made the same mistake if given the chance to start over.

The two of you met in high school and were even friends before you started dating. Despite being in different classes, you occasionally hung around the same crowd. At the time, you were a ball of fire and fury; always being loud and getting the attention of those around you. While Atsumu also held the attention of those around him, he did so in a more collected way. He was clever, smart, and observant. Back then, the two of you shared a lot of similarities while also being great complements. Since you were both popular and outgoing, when you started officially dating, it felt natural.

Atsumu didn’t always treat you poorly. Honestly, for the first part of your relationship, he was beyond kind and gentle. He was constantly doing things for you and going out of his way to make sure you were happy. Randomly he would bring you flowers or take you on unexpected dates. He listened to everything you had to say and always gave you support. He truly had you believing he was the only person you ever needed or wanted. You didn’t think it could get any better than him. Although, his kindness ploy was just a way to force your guard down. Once he knew you were hooked, the real work began.

The changes started small. At first, it started off as a few dropped comments. They weren’t particularly mean comments, just off-putting. Mostly they were intended to be manipulative, to remind you that you were lucky to have him, and without him, you’d be lost. While you should’ve recognized this was a strange thing to say, all of his previous actions had only made you agree with him.

Slowly the comments became directed at the way you looked, dressed, and your goals. Often times, he would even disguise them as compliments. Particularly when talking about your body or clothes, he would say things like, ‘I don’t think you should wear that; you don’t want our friends knowing how slutty that beautiful body is, do you?’ Being naïve, you would heat up at the reference of the intimate moments you shared.

He planned his comments effectively. They were so well masked that they sometimes made you fall for him even more. They would make you think he was protecting you, looking out for you, or wanted to preserve you for himself. He put his claws deep within you, and you had no intention of taking them out.

Following the comments was the distancing and surveillance. In your final year of high school, the two of you ended up in a class together. Conveniently, that made it easy for him to push you away from all of your other friends. He was possessive, constantly lingering by you or dragging you around with him. At the time it seemed very sweet, but later you realized it was to deter people from speaking with you. Even when you weren’t together, he always had your location and was constantly texting or calling to see what you were doing.

Since the behavior started when the two of you were in high school, by the time you both picked your colleges, you were well-conditioned. It was the main reason why you hadn’t gone out much or made many friends during your time in school. You spent most weekends going to visit him because he demanded it. Despite going to different colleges, his control over you was nauseating.

At one point during your first year, you even considered transferring to his school. Although, your mom refused to allow it and reminded you that the reason you didn’t attend in the first place was that there was no fashion and design program. She had always insisted that you chased your dreams instead of boys, but clearly, you weren’t a great listener.

After a while, he added aggressive actions to the mix. However, he kept the common theme of disguising them so you wouldn’t notice. It began as a few verbal outbursts which would end in aggressive sex. Atsumu was the first guy you slept with, and he loved that. He would tell you he was teaching you things, and that it was normal to be rough. It wasn’t uncommon for you to walk away with painful bruises and bite marks covering your body. While you knew some people were into that, you had forced yourself to allow it because Atsumu wanted it.

Gradually the aggression moved away from the bedroom and into everyday life. The frequent yelling accompanied the harsh treatment. It all piled up as Atsumu began controlling the way you acted and the things you said. If you stepped out of line, you knew the price was a few new bruises. Even though you were the one in pain, typically, it would end with you crying relentlessly and begging for forgiveness. It was truly a pathetic affair. But it’s what he wanted, and you were convinced you wanted to see him happy.

Slowly but surely, the old you fell away until you were unrecognizable. Your family and friends noticed, but not until it was already too late. You were gone. A barely salvageable shell of what once existed.

Tears prickled in the back of your eyes as you recounted everything. The relationship had been so defining but in the worst way possible. It was disappointing, but you tried to focus on the silver lining. You were here now, free of him and everything he put you through.

While lost in thought, your eyes drifted blankly to the court in front of you. You were stuck in a daydream until suddenly, three girls filled your vision. A couple of rows down, some of the fans jumped up to cheer.

Curiosity was replaced by terror when you heard them shout, “Let’s go, Miya! Nice serve Miya!”

_‘No, not the cheering,’_ you thought as every hair on your body defensively rose. You hesitated for a moment out of surprise, then folded your head onto your lap in an attempt to hide your face. Atsumu hated when people cheered before he served. He always took a moment to shoot a death glare at those that did so. That meant if he heard the girls, he was bound to look into the stands in your direction.

You sat folded on your knees holding your breath like you thought it would turn you invisible. Once you heard the sound of the whistle blow, you expected to hear a hand contacting a ball shortly after. However, the pause you heard seemed longer than usual. Finally, the familiar sound came a moment later to signal the game was back on.

Slowly you lifted your head and stared at what was below you. A volley was underway, and there were no obvious signs that the opposing team’s captain had seen you. He didn’t seem angered or smug. He honestly didn’t even look annoyed at the cheering.

_‘Strange, he must’ve gotten over that,’_ you thought to yourself. Sucking in a deep breath, you placed your face in your palms as your elbows sat upon your knees.

“Alright, I can’t ignore this anymore. Talk to me, [Y/N],” Suga asked as he shifted his legs to touch yours lightly. Your stomach twisted as once again his focus was now on you instead of the game. Remorse crawled across your skin like a raging fire.

_‘Enough of this, you can’t keep dragging people into your shit,’_ you thought as you picked your head up.

The game was near the end with only one set left to go. Both teams had two wins, so the first team to 25 would be victorious. You took a deep breath, and with a sigh, you prepared to give Suga some insight into what was going on so he would stop worrying. With the game being almost over, it would be easy for you to insist on staying. Plus, you didn’t have to tell him everything, just enough to answer him.

Suga eyed you intently while you braced yourself to speak. “Atsumu Miya and I dated a while back. It didn’t end so great and I would just prefer not to see him,” you spoke quickly while facing forward. While you excluded a lot of details, nothing you said was untrue. However, you had a sneaking suspicion that if Suga saw your face he’d see right through you.

“Oh,” he paused. Gently, Suga took one of your still trembling hands in his. “You know, [Y/N], you could’ve told me. We don’t have to be here if it’s too hard. I know the boys will come out with a win!”

He squeezed lightly at the end of his statement, and you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. Despite offering to leave, he was beaming with pride and happiness. With the way the fluorescent gym lights reflected off his fair skin, he looked nothing short of angelic. It was actually a very comforting sight.

After admiring the boy, you squeezed his hand back. “No, I want to be here. He’s dictated my life for far too long since we were still practically kids. This is my chance to break the cycle. Plus, I’m not alone,” you said while looking down at the court below and then over to Suga and even Iwaizumi beside you. Although you were here to cheer on the team, it suddenly felt like more people were there to support you.

Suga continued to hold your hand while the last set continued. The boys looked tired, but they didn’t falter. Actually, they were playing better than they had at the start. You assumed part of that was because Kuroo seemed to have calmed down and was looking more like his normal self. He was focused and composed, most of his anger seemingly subsided. That helped you breathe a bit more easily; at least he was focused on the game again.

The set went on for what seemed like an eternity, neither team really gaining a significant lead. The two teams were a great match and you could tell they had the entire audience on the edge of their seats.

Finally, they scraped their way to a score of 24-23 (Huskies being in the lead). If they could win this last point, they’d win the game. The only problem was, Atsumu was serving again. Known as the “Dual Wielder,” you had witnessed first-hand how his serves could trip a team up. On several occasions, you would watch as he would serve 5 or 6 times in a row, earning his team an advantage. If you had known who the team was beforehand, you could’ve told Kuroo (or anyone for that matter) the secret to knowing which one he would give.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at his face, so you stared at his shoes while the setter prepared to serve.

“One… two… three… four…” you counted quietly under your breath.

“What?” Suga asked, thinking you were speaking to him.

“O-oh,” you said, looking at the silver-haired boy. “Umm, well I used to watch Atsumu play a lot. So, I can tell what serve he’ll give based on the number of steps. He took four so he’ll serve a jump floater. The boys should move forward if they want a good receive.”

“Mmmm,” Suga hummed with a smug look on his face. Lightly he tilted his head and nodded towards the court. You looked where he was directing you to find that the receivers had in fact already stepped forward.

“Wait! How’d they know?”

“Daichi knew,” Suga said with tangible pride in his voice. “We played them back in high school. Our coach figured it out.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. You never remembered your high school playing Karasuno, but you supposed you were probably just too focused on Atsumu to remember. Suddenly your own face was beaming with pride. Atsumu’s serves were a major source of confusion for other teams, but not yours. They were reading him like a book. For some reason, that felt very satisfying.

The whistle blew, and Atsumu was in motion. However, something was off about his approach. It didn’t look like his normal jump floater, there was more urgency in his movement. Actually no, there was more power, like he was going to hit it… harder.

In that moment, the desire to see your team win outweighed the horrible things you had felt all day. Acting on instinct, your body reacted before your brain could process. Before the faux blond could make contact with the ball, you shot up from your seat.

“MOVE BACK,” you basically screeched. In the quiet anticipation of the gym, quite a few heads turned to stare at you screaming to the court below. Normally you wouldn’t have dreamed of doing something like that, especially given the circumstances. But now, you wanted nothing more than to see the Black Jackals lose to your team. It was like a surge of passion was flowing through your veins, blocking out everything in the world around you. The old you used to have that feeling a lot; it felt foreign now, but still good.

Thankfully some of the boys headed your warning and frantically tried to shift their feet backward. Lowering yourself into your seat, you kept your eyes fixed below. You were in a trance, hope burning so intensely within you that it cleared your entire brain.

As you suspected, the serve wasn’t a jump floater. It had all the strength of the spike serve, which sent it sailing into the back of the court. Thankfully Daichi had been one of the few who actually listened to what you said. Though he wasn’t entirely in position, so the ball pelted him on his upper arms.

Since he didn’t receive the ball with his normally solid platform, the pass went sailing straight upwards. Kageyama (who was setting again because Terushima was back on the roster) ran towards the back to try and get the second touch. While he did manage to send the ball forward with a bump set, it wasn’t quite in a great position to hit. Ultimately, it resulted in Tanaka pushing the ball towards the back corner of the Black Jackals court.

While you knew this was a good spot to aim for, it wasn’t going to earn them the point. You’ve seen the Black Jackals play before; they take advantage of every opportunity. Basically, they had a free ball and you were afraid of how they’d utilize it.

As the thought traveled through your brain, you watched Atsumu make brief contact with the ball. Quickly it sailed through the air towards where their orange-haired ace was already floating.

_‘Holy shit, that quick,’_ you watched as the boy, who you now recognized as Hinata from Kageyama and Yachi’s social media, made strong contact with the ball. Hinata’s first year on the team began around the time Atsumu and you split up. Although you did make a visit, Atsumu refused to let you meet any of his teammates, so that’s why you never realized they played together.

You watched in amazement as you were sure the ball was about to drill the court. As if out of nowhere, Nishinoya came flying across the ground and saved the ball with a flat hand.

“Oh my god! He got it up!” Suga yelled next to you as Iwaizumi’s jaw dropped in shock. Overcome with adrenaline, all of you started cheering at the top of your lungs. Looking below, you saw everyone start running in an approach. It was perfectly synchronized, truly a miraculous spectacle. They all looked so determined to hit the ball that you were unsure of who it would truly go to.

Just then, Kageyama set the ball right towards where Kuroo was hitting in the middle. Surprisingly, the set was a little off target and ended up being too close to the net. Both Kuroo and Atsumu, who was still near the net, jumped to reach the ball before their opponent. Making contact at the same time, they momentarily held the ball together in a joust.

Just as they were starting to fall back down, Kuroo managed to win the upper hand and push the ball across the tape. Rolling in front of Atsumu’s face, the ball landed with an audible _thud_ on the court.

The ref blew their whistle and made a hand gesture indicating the game had ended. Meanwhile, the stadium erupted into cheers. One side of the court was celebrating, the other struggling to come to terms with defeat. However, both Atsumu and Kuroo remained standing at the net still facing one another. Although they were far away, you saw a glimpse of the well-known anger that Atsumu used to show you. This time it was Kuroo who reacted with only a smirk.

You were frozen as you watched the two boys. Atsumu was clearly pissed, his fists clenched so tightly you could see them turning white. As you stood staring below, you watched in horror as Atsumu turned his head. It seemed like slow motion as he finally was facing in your direction. The air rushed out of your lungs as you held his gaze. His eyes were filled with an anger that was now clearly directed towards you.

A sob caught in your throat, and you clasped a hand to your mouth out of horror. Finally willing yourself to move, you broke eye contact as you grabbed your bag and started pushing your way towards the exit.

“Wait, [Y/N]! Where are you going?” Suga called after you.

“I’ll meet you at the car,” you managed to say with a cracking voice as you pushed through the crowds.

Unfortunately, people started leaving their seats and moving towards the court, so it was hard to get through the crowd. Your eyes stung, and your face was beginning to feel hot. Whether or not he had noticed you before your outburst, you weren’t sure. Certainly, your disruption put the nails in the coffin.

_‘What the FUCK was I thinking?’_ you screamed internally as you wiped away a few tears. After several minutes of pushing, you were finally out of the bleachers and in the hallways. Slowly your vision was growing dark around the edges as anxiety threatened to overcome you. Your attacks were always debilitating, so you needed to get out of the building before you couldn’t anymore.

However, it was at this moment that you wished more than anything that you had paid more attention to when you walked in. The gymnasium building had several entrances, and suddenly you weren’t so sure which one would take you out to where Suga had parked.

Standing in the middle of the hordes of people, you spun around frantically as your breathing picked up its pace. You pulled your bag tighter towards you as the world around you continued to grow dark. You didn’t have much time before a full-blown attack; you needed out of the building.

Choosing the nearest set of doors, you pushed into the outside. The parking lot was huge and none of the cars you saw looked familiar. At this point, you were basically gasping for air, and tears were streaming down your panicked face. The edge of the building was somewhat nearby, so you walked around the corner in order to get away from the few people walking out.

Once you were alone, you let your back fall against the cold brick as you squatted down and pulled your knees inwards. The gasping continued as your body trembled mercilessly. Seeing him again eye to eye triggered a terror that was rooted deep within your being. His gaze was both icy and hot, full of cruelty and resentment. If looks could kill, you were sure that death was knocking on your doorstep.

After a while, your breathing became more regular and your body calmed slightly. You weren’t really sure how long you had sat there. Since your phone had buzzed a few times you assumed it had been a short while. With shaky hands, you pulled it out and looked at the screen. Calls from Suga, Yachi, and even Kuroo.

_‘Shit the boys must be in the locker room if Kuroo called,’_ you realized as you went to give them each a text to let them know where you were. However, your hands were shaking so badly you couldn’t hit the right buttons. Instead, you decided it would be easier to call. Aiming for Yachi’s name in your call log, your trembling hands failed you when you clicked on Kuroo’s name instead.

_‘Fuck,’_ you said under your breath. You were about to hang up, but Kuroo answered too quickly.

“Peach?! Where are you? I’m coming to you.”

Hearing his voice was a lot more soothing than you thought it would be. Further stabilizing your breathing while he asked questions, you finally spoke up, “I’m outside.” You were bracing yourself to stand and get more descriptive details when you heard a voice that made your knees turn to jelly.

“Tch, typical. You really are pathetic ya know?” Atsumu said as he rounded the corner. He stood with his hands in his pockets with his volleyball bag slung nonchalantly around his shoulder. “All you did was run out the door closest to where you were sitting. Are you actually stupid enough to think I wouldn’t see you?”

You started whimpering and dropped your phone in the grass as you put your hands in front of your face. Silently you were hoping, praying actually, that this was a dream. In the distance, you could hear Kuroo yelling into the receiver a few times until the call was finally disconnected.

“Get the fuck up,” Atsumu growled as he grabbed your wrist and yanked you upright. “You know we probably would’ve won if you hadn’t opened that whore mouth of yours.” His grip tightened and your other hand instinctively reached to pull on his wrist. Your efforts were futile as he had no intention of letting go.

“Aaah,” you groaned in pain. “’Tsumu, stop please,” your cries came out almost inaudibly through your trembling lips. You tried yanking your wrist away, but it wouldn’t budge.

“What? Does it hurt? I can do a lot worse, but I think you already know that,” he said as he pushed you up against the brick and slowly raised his other hand to your throat. The way his long fingers snaked around your throat was light at first, almost tickling your skin. Then quickly, the pressure increased. With your free hand, you clawed at the vice-like grip.

Panic spread across your face, causing your eyes to double in size. “Stop! Please!” you yelped between gasping for air.

With a smirk, he shifted his face closer to yours. He looked near-feral, with his eyes scanning over your terrified expression. It was as though he was a predator who’d just caught the prey he’d been stalking for weeks. However, instead of just devouring it, he intended to play with it a bit. It was truly chilling, and it sent a shiver down your spine.

“What’s gotten into you, you’re puttin’ up a fight,” he said lowly in your ear before nipping at the soft lobe. “Honestly, this might be better. I’ll take a lot more pleasure in rebreaking you like the trained bitch you are.” You writhed with all the strength you had left, but the lack of oxygen was making it hard to move. Whimpering, you bit your lip as you tried to keep it from trembling.

“I mean come on, [Y/N]. Clearly, that Kuroo son of a bitch is getting my sloppy seconds, but you’ll always belong to me, won’t you?” he asked rhetorically into your neck before you felt hard teeth pressing against where his fingers weren’t holding. At first, he just grazed, but then you let out a loud screech as he bit down hard at the sensitive skin near the base of your neck. Based on the recognizable stinging sensation, you knew he broke the skin.

With the last bit of courage, you could muster, you clenched your teeth and groaned. “UUGH. FUCKING STOP IT. GET OFF ME YOU PYSCHO,” you tried to scream at him, though it was hushed by his hand pressing firmly on your vocal cords. Tears were barreling down your face in both pain and terror. Finally, he let go of your throat as he firmly gripped your jaw. You winced, as it was definitely hard enough to leave bruises. Trying to catch your breath, you moved air rapidly in and out of your nose since his grip kept you from opening your mouth.

His amused expression darkened into one of rage. “Who the FUCK do you think you are. I fucking made you, you ungrateful slut,” his angered eyes drifted down to the jersey you were wearing. “You must really miss me since you tried to replace me with another captain. I hope he knows how fucking pathetic and useless you are. HA! At this point, the only thing you’re good for is being a cocksleeve.” he hissed as he grabbed one of your shoulders and whipped you around.

Now your cheek was pressed to the brick wall and his hand was on the side of your head pressing you into the coarse stone. Any time you shifted you could feel pieces of mortar scratching your cheek. As you attempted to use the wall as leverage and push yourself backward, Atsumu only pressed harder in return.

“Honestly, I should make good use of you now. Just for old times’ sake,” he said as he slid a hot hand up the side of your thigh, lifting the jersey up slightly to reveal more of your leg. A choked sob came out of your throat.

_‘No, please. Not this again.’_ It was too much. All of it was too much. The pain, the harassment, the things about Kuroo. You wanted it to stop. You would do anything for it to stop.

“I-It’s not like that, we aren’t together. He’s my friend,” you sobbed. Somewhere deep inside you, a frayed thread was about to snap. Soon your body would shut down so you wouldn’t have to consciously bear what was happening. It was an escape mechanism you had developed when you thought things were going too far. Of course, that also meant Atsumu would get to have his way with you.

“You expect me to think that idiot sees you for anything other than what’s between your legs. Don’t forget baby, your face is like a five, but thankfully your body is a nine. That’s all anyone will ever see you for.” He laughed maniacally before continuing, “That is if they can look past the fact that you have about as much intelligence as the brick wall in front of you, and your personality is probably as flat as it too.” Once again increasing the pressure on your head, he used the other hand to lift the back of the jersey over your ass.

You tried pulling at the jersey to get it down, but you couldn’t stop him. he was too strong, too determined. More sobs escaped you as you stood with your thin underwear exposed behind you.

“’Tsumu, please,” was all you could force out. The thread was wearing so thin, you knew it would give soon.

He moaned lowly in your ear as he pressed the front of his body against your back. “God baby, you know I love it when you beg.” You could tell he was turned on. He was getting to assert his dominance while he abused and ridiculed you, there was nothing he loved more than that.

“Tell me,” he said while groping forcefully at your thighs and ass, pulling more pained cries from your lips. “Does Kuroo fuck you as good as me?”

You couldn’t hold it in anymore. A loud sob left your mouth as the thread finally gave. Maybe he was right, he’d told you for so long how stupid and worthless you were; maybe others thought it too. Plus, it was clear you’d never recover from your relationship with him, so maybe you really were his forever. Maybe the best place for you was to tolerate his violence. Maybe it’s really what you deserved. You’d let him do this to you for so long, so maybe in some twisted way, this was the type of relationship you earned. Maybe you weren’t worthy of gentle and authentic love.

Slowly your senses fell away. Your eyes fell closed, and all the noises grew dull. Your body went limp and your hands drifted to lightly rest on the wall you were being pushed against. Finally, you were ready to take whatever cruelty Atsumu was going to dish out. Tears had been falling down your face, but suddenly they stopped. Nothingness filled you. No more anxiety, no more fear, no more sadness. You just felt empty.

Somewhere behind you, Atsumu was talking, but he sounded distant. He felt your resistance subside and his hands were getting more exploratory. He was pushing his tongue against the bloodied bite mark on your neck when you heard something that was so faint, you almost missed it.

“Peach?” asked a voice in front of where your face was pointed.

When the nickname registered, your eyes snapped open. Soon after, Atsumu let go of your neck with a pop. Kuroo looked baffled, torn between helping or walking away. His hair was disheveled, and his forehead glistened with sweat. He was panting like he was running. Had he been… running around looking for you?

Capturing his eyes with your own, you could feel your senses slowly came back to you. Tears started flowing freely and the emotions returned. It was overwhelming but seeing Kuroo reminded you just how much you didn’t want what was happening to you.

“Can’t you see you’re interrupting something? As much as I’d love to give you a lesson on how to properly fuck [Y/N], I’ll take a rain check,” Atsumu said while he flipped you around to face him again. He pushed one hand against your sternum and the other wiped the dribble of leftover saliva off his lip. Thankfully the movement caused the jersey to fall and recover your exposed backside.

With a soft whimper, you turned your head to face Kuroo again. Finally, before Atsumu could say anything else, you just whispered out, “T-testu, help me… please.”

Kuroo’s face grew dark as his eyes flicked down to the wound Atsumu’s mouth had just left. Dropping his bag behind him, he clenched his fists together.

“Get your fucking hands off her,” Kuroo growled as he took a step forward. “I’ll give you three seconds, then I’m going to kill you for putting your fucking perverted hands on her.”

Atsumu tossed his head back in laughter. “Tch, contrary to what she’s led you to believe, this bitch belongs to me,” he said while giving Kuroo an evil grin. “Besides, don’t let her lie to you. Her pussy is probably dripping in anticipation.” At that, he quickly swiped his free hand up the front of the jersey to make contact with your thinly veiled core. The unexpected action elicited a pained yelp from you.

“The fuck is wrong with you,” Kuroo said as he lunged at Atsumu. Quickly he made hard contact with the setter’s face, successfully forcing him off you.

Atsumu grabbed at his now bloodied nose. “I’m trying to help you here, man. She isn’t worth a damn thing, you’re wasting your time on this whore,” he said into his hand.

“Oh, I’m going to fucking enjoy this,” Kuroo replied while squaring up to continue his assault.

You hadn’t realized that Atsumu’s grip was basically holding you up, so when he let go you fell to the ground smacking your head when you made contact. For a minute you laid there in a daze as ringing filled your ears. When you finally pulled yourself up, you saw the two boys wrestling around trying to land a good hit on the other. With a sob, you yelled out, “Kuroo! Stop, please! Let’s just go.”

Not hearing you, the two started throwing punches back and forth, each making contact with their target several times.

“OH MY GOD, stop please!” you screeched. You were sobbing at this point as the two men continued to beat the shit out of the other. In the chaos around you, your body shut off again. Hanging your head, you let the sobs wrack your entire body. Guilt, sadness, and dread coursed through your veins.

You didn’t hear a thing around you until a soft hand touched your shoulder. Although it was a gentle touch, you jumped. Looking up, you were met with Suga’s caring eyes.

“[Y/N] what’s going on?” he said to you, but it sounded like he was underwater. Yachi was kneeling next to him, looking back and forth between where you knew the guys were fighting and you. Following her gaze, you saw Bokuto, Akaashi, and Daichi pulling a flailing Kuroo off of Atsumu. He was screaming what you were sure was all kinds of profanities at the bloodied blond.

The orange-haired boy from the Black Jackals was kneeling next to Atsumu, trying to help stop the bleeding on his face. Kageyama was standing between the two groups like he wasn’t really sure who to help.

“Oh my god, what did he do to you,” Yachi asked as her eyes fell to your jaw and neck. She too felt like she was a million miles away. Instinctively you touched where the bite mark was, and fresh blood came off on your fingers.

“P-please. C-can you t-take me home,” you said while staring down emptily at your bloodied fingers.

Suga looked at you with a concerned look in his eyes and then over to Yachi. “I think we should call the police.”

Suddenly everything resumed its fast pace. You gasped and grabbed Suga’s arm as he reached for your phone that was lying on the ground from where you dropped it earlier. “N-no. I can’t. Please.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at you with confusion. “Don’t worry, we are all here. We will support you.”

Yachi just nodded while a silent tear fell from her face. This was the part she didn’t know about. The part about what happened after Atsumu assaulted you for what you thought was the last time a year ago.

“It’s not – I can’t,” your voice was getting frantic. “Just trust me, please. I want to go home. I’ll explain later, just get me out of here.” Tears continued to stream.

Suga looked off to the side at the crowds of respective teammates that were now forming around Kuroo and Atsumu. He looked to the other side as Iwaizumi and Oikawa running over with a trainer’s first aid bag.

With a sigh, he squeezed your hand and agreed.

“Let’s get you home, [Y/N].”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anddd there is it. Ok so maybe a bit aggressive, but our main character is terrified of Atsumu, so I wanted to give some insight into why. I'm sorry if it seemed unrealistic or if it was difficult to read. I'm sorry to all of my Atsumu fans out there. I don't hate him as a character, I just think he makes a great villain. 
> 
> Also, I know that Atsumu uses the combination serve against Karasuno, but for the sake of the story, let's pretend he doesn't. Also, I intentionally didn't write with his accent or dialect he has. I just don't really understand how to portray it, and I didn't really like how it flowed with the story. You can pretend it's still there if you want!
> 
> Thank you all for reading! I hope it wasn't too painful.


	13. The Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY HELL. I am so sorry people. This is so so so late, I got distracted with school and wasn't able to find time to write. Not to mention I left you with such a horrible cliffhanger! 
> 
> The good news is that I have a break coming up soon which means more writing time!!! 
> 
> Enjoy this one and Happy Reading!  
> MW

“You know, [Y/N], it isn’t too late to get the police involved,” Suga turned around in the driver’s seat to face where you were sitting in the back. Yachi – who was sitting in the passenger’s seat since she convinced the coach to let her ride home separately – also turned and nodded in agreement.

Pulling your gaze from where it was aimed outside the window, you noticed the car was already in front of your apartment building. This was the first time something they had said pulled you out of the distant emptiness you were feeling. Although it was a long drive, it had only felt like moments since you’d been so lost in your own silence.

Both he and Yachi looked so concerned. You hadn’t yet explained to them why you refused to talk to the police. Thankfully they hadn’t pushed too hard, but you knew they deserved an answer.

With a sigh, you looked down at where your hands rested in your lap. Quickly, you took note of the bruising that was already forming around one wrist. The awareness resulted in you pulling at your sleeve in a pathetic attempt to keep the colored skin covered.

It’s not like you didn’t want to go to the police, you did. Every fiber in your being wanted that shithead to rot in jail for all that he’d done to you. You hated that everything had been kept a secret, it felt dirty and made you feel more embarrassed about the entire thing. But it was easier to hide than admit and face the rumors and lies that followed the unbelievable truth.

As you stared at your clenching fists, you started to feel angry. The numbness still overwhelmed your senses, but somewhere deep within you, a fire was burning. Keeping everything to yourself felt like you were letting him win twice. Even though you weren’t fully convinced, part of you knew it wasn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t be ashamed. Plus, it was clear the two people in front of you had genuine concern for your situation. It at least wasn’t fair to keep them in the dark.

“It’s happened before,” you said still looking down at your now clenched fists. You were only met with silence, so you continued. “Before we broke up, h-he…” you swallowed a thick lump in your throat. “H-he forced himself on me.”

Yachi already knew that, so she stayed quiet. Suga, however, let out a soft gasp. Refusing to look up, you thought if you looked away from your angry hands you would lose your confidence.

“I went to the police, and I tried to press charges.” Tears burned in your eyes, and you felt your throat grow tighter with each word. Almost like your body was trying to keep you from saying any more. What was to come next would be new information for them both.

“B-but… Atsumu’s family owns a major law firm,” you paused to take a deep breath. “He turned the whole thing on me, it was humiliating.” Tears fell softly onto your lap from your cheek. Biting your lip harshly, you tried to keep it from shaking; you were almost at your limit.

“W-wait, what do you mean. How did he turn it on you?” Yachi asked as she leaned forward ever so slightly. You knew she probably wanted to reach out to you, but regardless, she continued to give you some space. 

Wiping quickly at the hot tears, you pushed a deep breath out of your nostrils. Picking at a piece of loose skin on your cuticle, you decided you were going to have to have to give a bit more background.

“Atsumu had been kind-of distant, so I decided to surprise him with a visit. When I got there, I… he was sleeping with someone else,” you said almost inaudibly. 

Fuck, this was so much harder than you thought. You’d recounted the story so many times, but it never ceased to burn a hole in your stomach like acid. The physical and emotional abuse was painful, but you endured it because you’d do anything for the person you loved. Nothing could’ve hurt you worse than catching that person show his unfiltered affection towards someone else.

“I tried to storm out, to leave then and there. But he convinced me to stay, he always convinced me,” you said sadly, continuing to pick at your now bleeding finger.

Suga slowly reached out and grabbed your hand to stop you from doing any more damage. “You don’t have to keep going. If you don’t want to get them involved, we won’t.” His voice was so soft and sincere, so it gave you just a bit more courage.

Looking up, you finally met their eyes again. “No, it’s ok. I trust you two.” You continued, “It happened that weekend. I was too upset to have sex with him that weekend after what I had seen. It pissed him off, so he forced it.” That was all you were willing to tell them. Almost re-experiencing everything today was enough, you didn’t want you to have to describe the worst moments of your life again.

You continued, “when the trial went to court, they framed it like I was a jealous girlfriend, trying to get back at him for cheating on me. They pulled up all kinds of old messages, ones that made me look like I was lying.”

Yachi gave you a puzzled look. You groaned and threw your head into your hands. It was mortifying, but you knew they wouldn’t understand until you explained just a little further. “I-I used to tell him I liked when he hurt me, that I liked when he did horribly disgusting things to me! I didn’t, but I knew he enjoyed it, so I said what he wanted to hear. They pulled all the messages up and showed the entire court… my fucking parents were there.”

No matter how many photos of your bruises and bite marks they showed, everyone only saw your previous “consent.” Despite the messages being from long before the incident, everyone believed him, nonetheless. In the end, the only person who truly still believed your side was your mom. You started sobbing into your palms; this was your breaking point.

Before you knew it, two sets of arms were wrapped around you. Both Yachi and Suga were hanging in the backseat in order to wrap you in a group hug. After a while, it helped calm your crying. While you were humiliated by what happened in the past, there was another reason you felt like you couldn’t go to the cops.

“I’m afraid,” you said into their shoulders, “that if I try again, they’ll not only turn it on me but now Kuroo too.”

The two wrapped around you pulled back in confusion. “What? Kuroo was protecting you, wasn’t he?” Yachi asked.

You blinked away a few stray tears before speaking again. You had suspicions that they’d make Kuroo seem like the jealous one who walked in on the two of you, and then lashed out as a result. Since you’d been wearing his jersey, it definitely would’ve looked like the two of you were together now. At least, it wouldn’t seem like a bad assumption.

“They are just awful people,” was all you could bring yourself to say. “Plus, nothing really happened, so I’m not sure—”

“[Y/N], you can still report him for assault,” Suga said, cutting you off. “Hell, if you wanted to sleep on it and go tomorrow, you could still report it then. Or if it makes you feel better, we could take you to the hospital to get the wound on your neck looked at, then report it there.”

Stunned by his apparent knowledge on the situation, it was your turn to give him a baffled look.

“Heh, Dai is going into law enforcement. I find it interesting, so we talk about it sometimes,” he responded while pawing at the back of his neck nervously.

Humming in response, none of what he said changed the fact that you didn’t want the police involved. Kuroo, yet again, had stood up to protect you, so now it was your turn to protect him in the aftermath. As much as you wanted to think otherwise, that’s what really kept you from wanting to press charges. You knew Atsumu wouldn’t press charges against Kuroo, as long as you didn’t against him. It’s how he worked. He always had a move in his back pocket to manipulate the game in his direction. This time, you wouldn’t be playing his game.

“I can’t, I’m sorry. But thank you both and I’m sorry I dragged you into this,” you finally said. “I know you both didn’t ask for this.”

The two were speechless for a second, Yachi went in for another hug as Suga wiped your face with his thumb. “Are you kidding? You didn’t drag us into anything, we are your friends. Friends look after one another. Plus, it seems like you’ve deserved a lot better for a very long time,” he said with a warm smile.

You wanted to say more, but you couldn’t. Why did the word ‘deserve’ feel like it didn’t apply to you? This was how friendships and relationships were supposed to be, full of support and care. That’s all you had ever wanted from Atsumu. Why did it seem that you found it after it was too late?

________________________________________________________________

Yachi had come up to your apartment to help make sure you were okay, though the first thing you asked to do was to clean yourself off. It felt like your entire body was dirty – contaminated by Atsumu’s essence.

Now, as you sat in the bath, you could feel significantly cooler water start to prune your fingers. Finally, you decided it was time for you to get out. Pulling yourself out of the tub, you caught a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror. It had only been a few hours, but purple and blue marks covered your jaw, neck, wrists, and legs. They looked like tiny galaxies trapped on your skin. If you received them in another way, you might’ve even believed they were beautiful.

As you examined the figure in the mirror, your eyes landed on the angry red mark on your neck. The skin was still raw, but the bleeding had stopped thanks to Iwaizumi’s wrapping before you left.

_‘I should put an antibiotic dressing on this before I get dressed,’_ you thought instinctively as you poked at the raw skin around the injury. Atsumu had done this enough that you knew the drill. Keep it smothered in antibiotic ointment and cover it with a bandage when necessary. If you were lucky, you’d get away with little to no scar. _‘Always marking your territory, I see,’_ you mused to yourself. Slowly you dropped your wet hair to cover the injury.

Instinctively you looked down your body to the places where you weren’t so fortunate to come out unscathed. They were faint, but similar crescent-shaped scars were scattered across your lower torso, hips, and upper thighs. Those always seemed to be the places he bit the hardest.

They sat on your skin, like constant reminders of the damage done. They often made you extremely insecure and prevented you from wearing a lot of outfits you would’ve normally loved. Honestly, it’s part of the reason you switched into men’s fashion. When you design clothes for women, you’re expected to model them yourself. With many of the up and coming trends, hiding scars from a camera wasn’t always so easy. It was better if you were behind the other end.

It had been a long time since you cried while looking at the scars he left behind. Even though more tears felt warranted, your head and body still felt really hazy. Almost like you hadn’t fully processed what had happened, so you did your best to push the emotions away. The emptiness felt lonely, you hated feeling like this, but it was easier.

When you stepped out of the bathroom, Yachi was sitting on your bed with clothes lying next to her.

“I pulled these out for you, how are you doing?” she asked handing you the sweatpants and hoodie.

“’M fine,” you said as you looked down at the clothes. It was your favorite hoodie, well, what used to be your favorite hoodie. Without another word you walked over to your closet and pulled out a black hoodie. Kuroo’s hoodie.

“Sorry, I like this one better,” you said quietly as you turned around to face Yachi.

She scanned the hoodie for a minute. Recognition lit up her features, but she quickly fell back into her calm demeanor. “That’s ok, I just want you to be comfortable.”

Quietly you pulled on your clothes while Yachi left your bed to go finish making some tea and snacks. You weren’t hungry, but Yachi insisted that you eat something. It was funny to see her acting so motherly. Though, you appreciated it since your mom was what you felt like you really needed right now.

After she brought the tray over to you, she had you sit down on the chest at the foot of your bed and placed herself behind you. Slowly she started brushing through your wet hair.

“You know, I get why you didn’t, but I wish you would’ve told me everything sooner,” she said after a few moments of silence.

Her words pulled you out of your trance as you were mindlessly pushing your fork around your plate. She was giving you plenty of time to speak, but you could tell she was waiting for an answer.

“What if you didn’t… I just couldn’t bear the thought of any more people not believing me. Especially not you,” you spoke softly. Your chest felt heavy, but you were out of tears for today.

Yachi finished pulling the brush through your hair and wrapped you in a hug from behind. “Well, that would’ve never happened. But I do believe you now.”

You scoffed, “yeah, because you witnessed it almost happen again.”

“No,” Yachi pulled back quickly causing you to turn your head. “I never trusted that douchebag. He always worked too hard to make people think he was perfect. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

You hummed in response. “I wish I could read people like you do, Yachi.” Anger was brewing within you again, but this time it was directed at yourself. “This would’ve never fucking happened if I could’ve just seen through the smoke and mirrors.”

It made you feel good to be believed by Suga and Yachi. It felt both relieving and horrifying to share your story. Though it didn’t fix the feelings he brought back. The self-hate. The self-pity. The self-doubt. Even if it hadn’t fully gone away before, it was back ten-fold now.

“Stop blaming yourself,” Yachi said while pulling you in again. “If anyone is at fault for letting this happen it’s me. I did see through it, and I still didn’t do anything.”

You leaned back with an exasperated look. “What? Don’t be crazy Yachi. We barely saw each other in high school, and when we started college, I spent too much time with him to even see you. Besides, it’s not your responsibility to protect me. As much as you like to think otherwise, I am the older cousin.”

Yachi was quiet for a moment. There was a question on the tip of her tongue, but you could tell she was hesitant to ask. “I-is it Kuroo’s responsibility?”

You pushed yourself even further away from her now. “No, it isn’t his either.”

“Do you want it to be?”

Your face was turning red, whether it was from embarrassment or anger you couldn’t really tell. There was so much guilt eating at you from all the times Kuroo had stood up for you. While you appreciate the gestures, you felt pathetic for needing saved so many times.

“What the hell are you implying?” you asked with a bite.

Yachi shifted uncomfortably, clearly bothered by the way the conversation was going. However, she remained composed. “I’m not implying anything. I’m just curious to know how you feel. I mean, you own a hundred sweatshirts, but you picked his after what you went through today. I just thought, maybe it meant something?”

Your chest was feeling tight again. Kuroo did make you feel safe. He also made you feel like yourself, no matter which side of you was showing. You didn’t know what that meant, but you also didn’t have the energy to sort through it right now. Not today.

Besides, it didn’t even matter anyway; you’d already come to terms with the fact that you’re too broken for someone like Kuroo.

“I hate feeling fragile. I don’t want it to be anyone’s responsibility, it’s bad enough that I’ve been such a burden for Kuroo already. Especially when he just thinks of me as a friend,” your eyes burned like you wanted to cry, but none came. “You want to talk about people who deserve things? It’s him, and he deserves a lot better than me. Not after everything that’s happened, I’m too broken to be worth his energy.”

“Mmmm, I’m not so sure he’d agree with you,” Yachi mumbled under her breath.

“What?” you hissed at her. It was starting to tick you off that she was instigating this conversation after the day you had.

Yachi quieted her voice. “Nothing. I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to upset you.” She reached out to grab your hands. “Stop saying you’re broken. You will always be you, no matter what that shithead did to you. You just need time to heal is all. While you do so, it’s ok to lean on the people who care about you. To them, you aren’t a burden, no matter what you ask.”

That was the thing. You hated leaning on others. The old you never needed to lean on others. You were the solid one. The brave one. The fearless one. Now, you were anything but.

With a sigh, you tried to push your anger away. Yachi didn’t bring the conversation up with ill intent, plus, you always had a soft spot for her. “I’m sorry,” was all you muttered. “I just don’t want to drag any more people down. Unfortunately for you, we are family, so you’re stuck with my shit. Kuroo has so much going for him, he doesn’t need to occupy his time with my problems.”

Yachi cupped your check with her sleeved hand, then let out a soft chuckle. “You know I think Kuroo is a lot stronger than you give him credit for. I’m not sure you could drag him down even if you tried, the kid benches like 285.”

It took you a minute to process what Yachi said, but once you realized what she was talking about, you let out a small laugh. She was like your mini ray of sunshine who always knew how to make you smile.

“Thanks, Chi,” you said when you pulled on her arm to give her a hug.

“Always, [nickname]-chan,” she said.

You almost pulled back to jokingly push her but suddenly her phone started ringing on the bedside table. Flopping over, she grabbed it to check the caller id.

“Shit, it’s Kiyoko. I’ve been waiting for her to call. She might ask me to go over to the house,” Yachi admitted while biting at her nails nervously.

“That’s fine, you have a job to do,” you answered as she went to pick-up the call.

Surely enough, Kiyoko did want her over at the house. Apparently, both she and the coach attempted to calm a still infuriated Kuroo with no success. They both decided she was the best option.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?”

Your body felt exhausted both emotionally and physically. Despite this, you knew you probably wouldn’t be able to sleep peacefully. Although, you did still think you’d benefit from some alone time; you still had to process everything.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” you said with a soft smile.

Yachi grabbed her stuff and headed towards the door. “I’ll come to check on you tomorrow. If you need anything at all, please call me.”

You nodded in response, though you knew you wouldn’t call. She had done enough for one night; she needed some rest too.

_____________________________________________________________________

**~Volleyball House POV~**

Kiyoko had intercepted Yachi at the door of the house. She gave her updates on how both she and the coach had been by to talk to Kuroo, but he refused. He was currently locked away in his room, and Yachi was their final option.

Yachi was sure Kuroo would open the door for her. After all, the two had actually grown quite close in the last two years. Plus, she had a good feeling she knew what was really bothering him.

When she knocked on the door, she was only met with silence. A little worried he had fallen asleep, she knocked again, but this time she called for him also. Within an instant, she heard movement headed towards the door. It was ripped open right after.

“Where is she? Is she ok? Did she talk to the police?” Were the first questions out of his mouth.

He looked like shit. Both he and Atsumu had landed some critical blows, resulting in each man looking pretty busted as they walked away. Kuroo had a black eye, a busted lip, and a few butterfly bandages near his eyebrow. His knuckles were scabbed and bruised from the assault.

But it wasn’t just his physical appearance that was the most off-putting; it was his demeanor. Yachi had never seen the captain so frantic. He was urgently waiting for Yachi to provide an answer like if she didn’t, he could combust at any moment.

“She’s at home, she’s fine, and no,” were the answers she gave as she pressed past the tall middle blocker and into the room.

“What do you mean ‘no?’” Kuroo asked while following her with his gaze.

Yachi sighed as she plopped down on his bed. “I mean, she isn’t going to the police.”

Kuroo’s face turned from shock to pure rage. “What the fuck, Yachi. That dickweed deserves to be in prison. He’s a fucking rapist,” the accusation hung heavily in the air. Although it was true, Yachi still winced, the word just held so much weight.

“I don’t think this was the first time,” Kuroo continued. He was spiraling now as he paced around the room shoving a hand through his messy hair. “You wanna know what that sick fuck said to me before the game?” He paused and looked at Yachi like he was waiting for an answer, but he didn’t wait. “He said, ‘don’t listen to her lies, she practically begged me for it.’ At first, I thought he was talking about what he was going to do, but now I think he was saying this happened before.”

Kuroo was in full-on frenzy mode, mumbling things about how he should’ve punched him during the game. “How could you not make her go,” he questioned, anger starting to edge on sadness.

“She has her reasons, and we have to respect that.”

“I’m not letting him get away with this. Hell, I’ll go to the police, I don’t care,” Kuroo said as he turned towards the door. Yachi didn’t doubt he would.

“Would you sit the hell down you idiot cat,” Yachi yelled. It wasn’t often she raised her voice other than to shriek out of excitement, so Kuroo stopped dead in his tracks. “You’re right, this has happened before, but how do you think it went? If he had the balls to try again, do you think she succeeded? She did go to the police last time and nobody believed her. She’s traumatized from that and now she’s worried about pulling you into it too, moron.”

Kuroo was frozen. He had moved back into the room, but at Yachi’s words, he couldn’t formulate a coherent response. “Me?” was all he could ask.

“Yess, you. She’s worried Atsumu will press charges against you if she comes forward.”

Jaw agape, Kuroo stood silently. He hadn’t even really thought of himself or the consequences of his actions. He was so worried about you that his brain couldn’t process another thought.

“Well that’s fucking stupid, I fought him to get him off her. I can’t get in trouble, it’s like a Good Samaritan Law or something,” Kuroo replied.

Yachi shook her head in disbelief. Sometimes talking to Kuroo felt like talking to a brick wall, the kid was so smart yet so clueless. “Based on her last experience, I don’t think that’s what they would tell the court. They twisted her story, and she thinks they’ll do it to you.”

Kuroo’s emotions were in overdrive. He felt guilt, for not getting to you sooner. He felt disgusted towards Atsumu. But most of all, he felt anger. Anger that you’ve been through this more than once. Anger that as much as he wanted not to be, he was helpless. Anger that you cared so much about protecting others that you wouldn’t seek justice for yourself.

“FUCK,” he yelled as he slammed a hand down on his desk. Silence permeated the room as the two friends fell into a mutual understanding. They both shared a feeling of frustration and uselessness.

Finally, Kuroo spoke again, “Can I go see her?”

Yachi met his eyes with her own. “I don’t think right now is a good time, just give her some space and let her come to you. She needs time to get through this. I’ll be checking on her every day and can give you updates.”

Kuroo knew that was the answer he was going to receive, but he still grunted in protest.

“If it makes you feel any better, she picked your hoodie.”

“What?” Kuroo asked as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“I mean, dumbass, that after cleaning up she wanted to wear your hoodie.”

Kuroo couldn’t help but smirk to himself. Before everything had happened, if he said seeing you in his jersey didn’t make his heart flutter, he’d be lying. The sight practically made him lose his cool as he was standing in the middle of the court.

Now, given the circumstances, the thought of you in his clothes just made him feel more at ease. He was a bit worried about how you’d react to what he did. It was part of the reason he was so panicked. But the fact that you were wearing his sweatshirt meant that maybe, he wasn’t too far out of line.

“We’ll talk punishment tomorrow; Coach is pissed at you. For now, get some sleep,” Yachi said as she rose to make her exit. With a groan, Kuroo rubbed his hands down his face. Now that he knew you were alright, he had to face the penalties. Whether or not Atsumu pressed charges, there would still be hell to pay. But the punishments would at least keep him distracted until he could see you.

Yachi stopped in the doorway on her way out, one hand gripping the frame. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “If I could’ve, I would’ve beat the shit out of that asshole a long time ago.”

Her eyes were glossy as fresh tears brewed.

“Yeah, and I’d do it again.”

____________________________________________________________________________

The next several days were spent mostly holed up in your apartment. With a few vague emails to your professors, you managed to convince them you were sick and wouldn’t be able to attend class Thursday and Friday. It really wasn’t a big deal since most of your class time was spent preparing for the final showcase that was coming up. Really all it meant was that a couple of days off put you behind on work.

Yachi had been visiting you every day, usually bringing food that went uneaten. Truly since the incident, you’d barely eaten or slept. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried, you just didn’t feel hungry, and every time you drifted off you woke abruptly to the same awful nightmare. It’d been miserable past several days, but it was slowly getting more bearable. Each day it was a bit easier to forget what happened. Each day you cried a little less. Each day the bruising faded a bit more (it wasn’t anywhere near gone, but certainly improving).

It was Sunday now, and you knew you should probably start going back to class tomorrow. As long as you kept to yourself, there wouldn’t be any problems. There was also another thing you felt like you should do, and that was to thank Kuroo for his help.

He hadn’t texted you or reached out. You thought it was a bit odd, but also understandable. He likely wanted nothing to do with you after seeing what a train wreck you really were. Still, whether or not you remained friends, a ‘thank you’ was warranted. If he hadn’t come… you didn’t even want to think about what would’ve happened.

Ultimately you came to the decision to call him today. Originally you thought a text might do, but it didn’t seem sincere enough. This was some real shit, the least you could do was thank him with your voice.

The boys were going to play their next round of playoffs tomorrow. That meant their practice schedule was a bit lighter today in order to give them a rest. Yachi had told you what time practice would end, which wouldn’t be until the later in the afternoon.

You spent the entire day contemplating exactly what you wanted to say. Somehow you wanted to address what he had seen without inconveniencing him with information. The main goal however was just to express gratitude. You figured keeping it simple would probably be the least painful.

When 4 o’clock rolled around, you finally picked up your phone to call. For some reason, your hand was shaking as you held the phone open with his contact pulled up. Clearly, you were nervous, but you didn’t understand why. You figured it was because your suspicions of him never wanting to speak to you again would be confirmed if he didn’t answer or return your call. As cliché as it sounded, this was the moment of truth.

Pulling your legs in a criss-cross on your bed, you adjusted your posture and clicked the call button. It rang four times, and you assumed it was just about to go to voicemail. Even though you had tried to mentally prepare for this outcome, your heart sank a little. _‘I guess this really is it,’_ you thought just as you heard the ringing stop.

“Peach?!” came an urgent but familiar voice.

You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath, but it all came rushing out at the sound of the stupid nickname. The warm feeling of relief spread all the way from your head to your toes. “Kuroo,” you almost gasped out. You prayed it didn’t sound as desperate to him as it did you. Suddenly you were thankful to only be talking on the phone because a soft pink erupted across your cheeks.

“Are you – H-how are you feeling?” the question came out slowly like he wasn’t sure what to ask.

“I’m ok,” you said softly. For days you’d felt horrible, but since the 15 seconds you’d been on the phone with him, his voice seemed to soothe you. You didn’t realize how much of an effect it would have. You wanted him to keep talking, but you were the one who called, so you figured you should keep the conversation going.

“I wanted to tell you thank you, for everything. That was, umm, it looked really bad and I’m sorry,” your voice caught slightly at the end. “I just wanted you to know, that I didn’t…” you paused for a moment to regain composure. “I didn’t want what he was about to do. I am eternally grateful you were there to help me.” Your throat was dry, and a tear streamed down your cheek.

“Peach, I –” he started.

“Wait, I’m not finished,” you interrupted with a sniffle. “I’m sorry that I drug you into this mess, and that you ended up getting hurt. I understand if you think I’m a mess and never want to see –”

This time he interrupted you, “do you like Pad Thai?”

You began stumbling over an answer, too stunned as to what would prompt that question at a time like this. “Wh-what? Uhhh, y-yeah I do? But, that’s not what –”

“Ok great. We are having a team meal soon at my favorite place, their Pad Thai is literally to die for. If you’re feeling up for it, can I come by afterward and bring you some?” he asked so nonchalantly like you weren’t opening up just moments earlier.

When you didn’t respond right away, he continued. “I mean there’s no pressure. I just would rather talk about this face to face. That is if you don’t mind?”

An in-person apology would be the best way, but what if you started crying? What if you broke down or couldn’t control the dam of emotions you’d been trying to suppress since everything happened? There was no hiding if he was there with you.

All these thoughts raced through your mind, but then your heart fluttered for a moment. The thought of seeing Kuroo and being in his presence, made you lose your worries. “O-ok, yeah. I’d like that,” you responded without another thought.

You could almost hear his smirk through the phone. “Good,” he said quietly. “I’ll be by in an hour ok?”

An hour wasn’t a ton of time. Since you’d been wallowing in self-pity for the past 4 days, the apartment wasn’t exactly clean. Taking a moment to look around, you took note of the mess your place had become. There were clothes everywhere, takeout containers full and scattered, dishes full of Yachi’s cooking attempts, and both the bed and couch were covered in blankets from where you’d been spending most of your time.

_‘Shit,’_ you thought as you realized you would have to clean fast if you wanted time to get ready.

“Uhh, yeah that’s good,” you finally responded as you pulled yourself off your bed to start picking up things.

“Alright, see you then.”

“Yeah, ok,” you responded before the two of you exchanged goodbyes and the call ended.

____________________________________________________________________________

You were vigorously scrubbing the final pan that was caked with dried sauce when you heard a knock at the door. With a pause, you stared in the direction of the sound. Frantically you looked over to the clock and sure enough, it had been an hour. Though you figured it would take a while, you hoped you’d at least have 15 minutes to change and maybe put some mascara on.

Sprinting to the bathroom, you stole a glance to see if you were at least decent. Your hair was fine, it was in a messy bun, but it looked cute for lounging.

KNOCK. KNOCK. “Peach? It’s me.”

The bags under your eyes were a bit puffy, but he was a guy, so he probably wouldn’t notice. Despite wearing a hoodie, the bruising on your neck was still visible. You wished you would’ve had time to cover those. Following the reflection downward…

_‘FUCK. The hoodie.’_ You’d only taken Kuroo’s sweatshirt off once the whole weekend, and it was only to wash it. His smell was fading, but it lingered ever so slightly even after several washes. Though that gave you comfort, you brushed it off and reasoned with yourself that you wore it because it was just so big and soft.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. “Hey, if you don’t want to chat that’s alright. I’ll just leave the food here. Call me when you can.”

“Wait no!” you finally yelled out. With a groan, you pulled yourself away from the mirror. You glanced quickly at your closet full of other assorted sweatshirts, but you were afraid that by the time you changed, he’d be gone. You said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t recognize the hoodie.

Before you know it, your feet carried you to the door. With your eyes fixed on the bottom frame, you opened it. Using it as a shield, you slowly looked up. Once his eyes met yours, he closed them as he started grinning and shaking his head.

“You know, I almost thought you stood me up at your own home.”

A small laugh left your lips as they upturned into a grin. The smile fell as quickly as it came when you saw the injuries on his face. Thankfully, they seemed to be healing like yours, but they still look great. They made you feel terrible. A reminder that because he was involved with you, he experienced pain.

With shame, you shifted slightly from behind the door. The movement left you standing in front of him in his oversized hoodie that basically covered your shorts. The embarrassment caused you to look down again. “I’m kinda a mess right now, I didn’t have time to change,” you finally said quietly.

As you continued to avert your gaze, Kuroo said nothing. After a few awkward seconds, you glanced back up. His eyes were locked on you, and his mouth was slightly open in surprise. You could only assume it was because he noticed the hoodie…

Once he realized you were staring, he turned his head to the side and held a fist to his mouth as he cleared his throat. You could see the beginnings of a blush spreading across his cheeks. “Don’t worry about it. I- I mean you look great.”

His cheeks were exploding red now, which caused you to shift awkwardly. ‘ _Is he uncomfortable that I’m wearing his sweatshirt? That’s weird, right?’_ you began to convince yourself.

“I can change and get you your hoodie back,” you said as you stepped aside to let him into the apartment.

Kuroo whipped around to face you again. “NO! I mean… ahhh.” With a sigh, he dropped his head. He was clearly flustered. It was strange to see the normally suave and composed man so thrown off the sight of a hoodie.

When his head popped up, he raised his hand that was holding a plastic bag, “you hungry?”

You were about to protest – like you had every time Yachi offered you food the past couple of days – when your stomach started to grumble.

With a chuckle, the tall boy put the food down on a nearby table. “I’ll take that as a yes. Come sit, I’ll grab some plates.”

Idly, you slid into one of the open chairs. Although Kuroo seemed to have regained his composure, you felt a little awkward. Folding your leg between you and the table, you sat in the chair with your head resting on your knee. You watched as Kuroo shuffled through the few cabinets and drawers you had searching for plates and utensils. He was wearing a black graphic tee-shirt underneath a tan, corduroy jacket that had Sherpa on the interior. He had ripped jeans and white sneakers on his lower half. Despite his busted face, he looked as incredible as always. You pulled your knee closer to you, feeling increasingly more self-conscious about your own appearance.

Once he grabbed everything he needed, he walked back over and plopped down across from you. Sneaking a quick glance your way, he continued reaching for the food so he could plate it.

“Yachi said you aren’t eating, she’s really worried you know,” he said with a little bit of jest in his tone. Kuroo was probably just as amused by you at Yachi playing caretaker.

With a scoff, you rolled your eyes. “Haven’t been hungry, but maybe if her cooking was better.”

That pulled a loud laugh from Kuroo and thank god one of his smiles came with it. Feeling the infection of his laugh, your lips pulled up in a smile.

The two of you chatted casually while you ate. Even though you were both avoiding the elephant in the room, it felt natural. Actually, for the first time in days, you felt... good.

Another thing you had done for the first time in days was actually eat. You almost finished the order of Pad Thai that Kuroo had brought for you. He was right, it tasted amazing. When both of you were done, you helped him pack everything up and clean the dishes since the dishwasher was full.

Things were feeling normal. Kuroo teased you, and you pushed back a bit. You were having a good time, that’s why you couldn’t help how your face fell when you looked over and saw Kuroo staring at your neck. Instinctively reaching up, you realized you forgot to recover the bite mark.

Turning on your heels, you were about to B-line for the restroom to do so, when Kuroo side-stepped in front of you. Taking a step back, he ensured there was plenty of space in between you both.

“Wait, don’t go. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare,” he said softly. He looked like he was uncomfortable just standing in front of you, but you could understand why he’d be hesitant to be so close. Honestly, you appreciated it.

“I was just going to cover it, so it didn’t bother you,” you said as you dropped your gaze and started fidgeting with the hem of the hoodie.

“Hey,” he said, pulling your attention back to him. He opened up his body and nodded to the side at the small couch nearby. “Wanna sit?”

After a moment, you nodded and followed him. The two of you sat at opposite ends, but the couch wasn’t very long, to begin with. You sat crisscrossed while he turned and pulled a knee in front of him so that he could dangle one arm over the back of the couch and face you.

Neither of you spoke right away, but you refused to look at him. Pushing air out of your nose, you prepared yourself to speak when Kuroo started.

“I want to go first, but will you look at me?” he asked. His voice was steady, but almost pleading.

Slowly you looked up again.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t find you sooner. I watched Miy- _him_ ,” you winced at the near mention of his name, “walk off the court right after the game. I should’ve known something was up and left the gym sooner. I’m also sorry that when I did find you I… well I’m sorry if I scared you. I just saw you and the look in your eye, and when I heard you ask for help I couldn’t stop –”

“Kuroo,” you said as you grabbed his ankle to silence the now rambling man in front of you. “I don’t want to hear another apology out of your mouth. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” Tears prickled the back of your eyes, they were coming.

“Why would you apologize? He forced himself on you, right?” The end of his question got quiet. Like it was almost an inquiry as much as a confirmation.

“Y-yes! I never would’ve… wait, you don’t believe that, do you?” Your heart began to ache. Memories of the past rushed forward. Maybe it wasn’t as unbelievable as you thought. The lovesick girl rushing back to her ex, then playing coy when they get caught. It must’ve looked pathetic to Kuroo.

As you spiraled, Kuroo grabbed your retreating hand in his own. “Of course, I believe you. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t overstep my boundaries and assert myself where I wasn’t supposed to.”

“I asked you to help me, and I meant it. I didn’t think I would ever see him again, he’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me,” you confessed quietly. “If you hadn’t been there when you were, I would’ve been forced,” you paused. “I tried to get him off me, he’s just so strong, he always was.” Your voice sounded more broken as you spoke, your throat constricting in sadness.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. I know. I’m just so sorry,” Kuroo said soothingly. He looked so sad as he stared at your fingers. You knew he was thinking of more to say, but you already felt bad enough for yourself, you didn’t want him to pity you too.

“Kuroo, I told you, no more apologies. I’m sorry I’m not strong enough to stand up on my own. I’m sorry you’ve been the one forced to gather the pieces. I’m sorry I’ve pulled you into this whole thing,” you said.

A tear fell and you released Kuroo’s hands to wipe it away. When you did, his hand followed yours to rest over yours where it cupped your cheek.

“You didn’t force me or pull me into anything. I chose this.”

“Why,” you squeaked out before you could stop it.

Kuroo’s face immediately morphed at the question, and he dropped your hand. Looking up, he rubbed the back of his reddening neck. He was contemplating something and didn’t look back until he found his answer. “I – uh – well you’re… you’re Yachi’s cousin, so that makes you part of the team. The captain always protects his team.” It sounded like he was both joking and serious. He flashed a smile at you, but it wasn’t a stunning smile. It looked inauthentic, almost forced.

Still, as his words lingered in the air, and you felt your heart sink. You already knew where Kuroo and you stood, so why did you feel disappointed? Suddenly the word ‘deserve’ echoed in your brain again and you knew it was because Kuroo deserved better and you should be happy you aren’t that kind of hindrance to him.

_‘You’re asking for too much,’_ you thought as your lips turned upwards. Your smile was certainly forced.

“Well, thank you, for everything,” you responded as you let your head fall to the side and rest on the couch, tiredly. Kuroo’s presence all night had been so calming, you were finally feeling your exhaustion take over.

“Want me to go so you can rest?” Kuroo asked, reading your tired eyes.

Pulling your knees up, you hid half your face behind them. Your eyebrows furrowed and Kuroo cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“What’s wrong,” he said leaning forward ever so slightly.

You don’t know what possessed you to open up, but you did, “I’ve been having this awful nightmare, one where _he_ breaks in and – you know… hurts me. I haven’t been able to sleep much because of it.” You pinched your eyes shut. “Can you stay for just a little while I try and sleep?”

When you open your eyes, Kuroo is staring at the back of your upper thigh. At first, you’re embarrassed and then confused, but then you realize it’s one of the places you have a scar. Shifting lightly, you tried to cover it, which caused Kuroo to jerk back up.

“I’m assuming that’s from him,” he stated sadly.

You just nodded in response. If he didn’t think you were damaged goods before, he definitely did now.

Kuroo looked away and at the door. You were afraid he was going to excuse himself to leave when he started talking again, “he practically told me, ya know. On the court. I’m not sure if he saw you, or if he just assumed I knew you through Yachi.”

“Told you what?” you asked nervously. Your mind raced at a rapid speed. You could only imagine the horrible things Atsumu could twist to make you sound terrible.

“That he’d hurt you before,” he declared. He sounded so distant, and you swore his eyes looked glossier. Maybe it was disappointment? Maybe it was disgust? You didn’t know, so you just pressed your burning eyes into your knees.

“You can go,” you sniffled. “I won’t keep you here. I’m asking too much, I’m sorry.”

The weight on the couch in front of you lessened as Kuroo stood. You bit down on the inside of your cheek to control the sob that was about to burst out. This was humiliating. Of course, Atsumu found ways to torment you, even after the fact.

Blood was rushing into your head, so you couldn’t hear Kuroo walking around. You only knew for sure that you hadn’t heard the door yet. A moment later, you felt a blanket from your bed fall around you and the couch indent in front of you, but this time closer.

You pulled one eye above your knee to see what was happening. Kuroo was looking at you with eyes that burned with 100 emotions. You couldn’t read them all, you only knew they were intense.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “And I’m NEVER letting that fucker lay a hand on you ever again.”

The gentleness of his touch and the strength of his words shot a jolt of electricity down your body. In its wake, peace overtook you. All the tension in your body, limbs, and head fell away. You just felt relief. 

Falling forward, you closed the gap and landed on his shoulder. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around your back. Rubbing small circles into the soft material, he sat like that until you finished crying.

Once he heard you go quiet and your breathing even out, he made some space between the two of you to look down. You were basically asleep in the crook of his neck, drained by emotions.

Grasping the back of your head, he helped guide you, so you were laying on the couch behind him. The abrupt movement of your heat source stirred you back awake. When you opened your eyes, Kuroo was kneeling in front of you as you laid on the couch.

“I’m going to study some notes on my phone at the table. Why don’t you try and sleep a bit,” he softly brushed a thumb across your jaw that was littered with bruises. It almost felt like his touch was washing them away.

Closing your eyes and basking in the warmth of his hand, you nodded. With how tired you felt, you were in no mood to object. After a few more moments, Kuroo stood and placed another blanket around you. Somewhere in the distance, you could hear your kitchen chair scrape the floor as he sat down to study.

As you drifted off, the only thing you could think of was the lingering touch of Kuroo’s hand on your cheek. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was worth the wait. I also hope it gives some explanation. I still want Atsumu to face some consequences, I'm just not sure what I want yet... it's still a work in progress.
> 
> Obviously, this is some heavy stuff, so use it as a reminder to check in on your friends and make sure they are doing ok! 
> 
> Thanks for readingggg


	14. The Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHfadlakjdoiacjf I am so so sorry. I have been working on this chapter forever. I think I rewrote it 3-4 different times because I wasn't happy with it. It ended up with a lot more angst than I originally intended... Anyway, I wanted to get it out so I can start working on other chapters more in-depth. 
> 
> As always, thank you for the Kudos and comments, they truly make my day when I read them!!
> 
> Happy Reading  
> MW

**~Volleyball house POV~**

Kuroo burst through the front door of the volleyball house at 2 am. The abrupt noise triggered Yachi to bolt up from where she was half asleep on the couch; ultimately stirring a snoring Bokuto who was lying nearby.

When her hazy vision cleared, she rushed towards Kuroo, growling, “what the hell are you doing? There’s a curfew on match-nights for a reason, you’re the captain for Christ’s sake.”

She was flailing around rapidly trying to get Kuroo’s attention who was just staring at her blankly as he stood in the front room of the house. After a bit more of her rambling, Kuroo stopped her by grabbing her shoulders.

“Yachi, I was with [Y/N].”

Her mouth snapped closed for a moment as she blinked in bewilderment. She knew Kuroo left dinner to visit you, that’s why she didn’t go see you herself. Now she was nervous that Kuroo was bringing it up like she wasn’t aware.

“Is she ok?” She finally asked again, her tone switching from anger to uneasiness. Scanning his face for any cause for concern, she didn’t find any. Her gaze was only met with Kuroo’s excited eyes and a soft smile that was pulling at the corners of his mouth. Something about that look was almost just as alarming as a worried one.

“No, yeah. Wait, I mean yes, she’s asleep,” Kuroo said as he released Yachi and walked across the room to sit on the steps.

“Oh! Well that is good, but why are you so smiley,” Yachi asked apprehensively as she followed the tall boy and glared down at him.

Suddenly, Kuroo started laughing like an idiot and threw his head into his hands.

Yachi’s entire body tensed as she watched his reaction. “Dude, you’re freaking me out, what happened?”

Kuroo looked up while still keeping part of his mouth covered by his hand. “I didn’t blow it. I think I have a shot, a real shot.”

Yachi groaned as her shoulders fell in relief. Although you had grown distant over the past several years, Yachi still knew you better than anyone. She had seen the way you two interact. Every time you were near him, you had a bit more spunk and looked less like the wounded puppy you seemed to think you were. Even if you hadn’t realized it yet, she knew Kuroo brought out the best in you which certainly gave him a chance. “Yeah, I’ve been telling you that –”

“No, you don’t get it. She asked me to stay there while she slept.”

Yachi’s eyebrows shot upwards and her mouth fell open slightly. She knew you weren’t sleeping well lately, she’d even offered to stay the night herself several times; each time you declined. The fact that you wanted Kuroo to stay only made it clear just how comfortable you were around him, which wasn’t something she expected from anyone let alone another guy.

“I almost stayed the whole night just to make sure she was ok, but I figured that was a bit creepy.”

Yachi finally cracked a smile and sat down next to the beaming boy. This was certainly unexpected. Based on the conversation the two of you had a few days ago, she expected you to try and push Kuroo away. Your words made it clear that you were fearful that getting involved with Kuroo would only hurt him. In all honesty, that conversation had made Yachi angry because your argument hadn’t made any sense. She didn’t understand why you were so determined on pushing people away when support was clearly what you needed most. It was like that was your preconditioned reaction, which she of course blamed Atsumu for (among many other things).

But your actions towards Kuroo spoke so differently than your words. The hoodie, the jersey, the one-on-one interactions, hell, even letting him into your apartment alone spoke numbers for how differently you saw him.

It was confusing, but she figured you were probably more confused than she was. Yachi knew this was probably hard for you, which made her sad; but it was also promising. This would be something you would have to sort through on your own, she just needed to be there to support you. She supposed she couldn’t be so mad at Kuroo when he was also giving you that time and space to do so.

“Don’t forget that Kiyoko, Coach, and I would’ve killed you if you did,” she said jokingly.

Kuroo let out a breathy laugh and nudged Yachi with his shoulder. “I was really scared. I thought I messed up and gave her a glimpse of a horrible side of me, but this is good, right? Doesn’t it mean she trusts me or something?”

Yachi was about to confirm his suspicions when another voice started talking from the other room.

“Damnnnnnn bro, I was fell asleep worried about you, but you’re telling me you were with a lady this whole time? Did you get lucky?” a tired Bokuto yawned as he leaned against the doorframe of the adjacent room.

Stretching his legs out in front of him, Kuroo laid across the stairs behind him. “No, Bo, it was [Y/N].”

Bokuto’s eyes widened slightly in amusement. “Shit. Is she doing alright?” Bokuto eyed his friend curiously as the dark-haired man fixed his gaze on the ceiling. “At first I kinda figured this was a fling, but after watching you beat the shit out of another team’s captain because he threatened her, I’m starting to think you’re actually smitten.”

Kuroo winced. Most of the guys didn’t know the full extent of what happened to you. They only thought that Atsumu was getting rough with you when Kuroo stepped in. He, Suga, nor Yachi had shared the history or the details about just how far things had gone.

“When have you ever known me to be interested in a fling?” Kuroo scoffed, in an attempt to prevent having to divulge any more details.

“Well there was that one time…” Bokuto began.

“That wasn’t supposed to be a fling,” Kuroo snapped as he sat upright. “What’s the point in getting involved with someone if you know you’re just going to break it off? That’s childish if you ask me,” Kuroo said trying to regain his composure.

Bokuto shrugged, “I guess you’re right. But you’re avoiding the question, so you like her?”

“Yeah, I do,” Kuroo said quietly as he refolded his arms behind him and laid back down. You were different, that much he could tell from the first time you had walked into the volleyball house. Most girls came to the volleyball parties came in hoards with one intention of attracting one of the player’s attention. You probably didn’t realize it, but you walked in alone and walked past almost half the team without even batting an eyelash. You also looked beyond uncomfortable with the level of attention you _were_ getting. That’s what captivated him in the beginning. The more he had gotten to know you, the more he was surprised. He didn’t even love surprises, but something about you made his skin crawl with anticipation.

“Well then it’s settled, invite her to your birthday party this Friday,” Bokuto said, effectively pulling Kuroo out of his daydream.

“Can’t you two talk about this later and just go to bed,” Yachi chided, but it was ignored.

Kuroo’s birthday wasn’t until the middle of next week, but if they kept winning tournament games, they would likely have a match next weekend. Since this week’s match was scheduled for that day, they’d only have practices over the weekend. In Bokuto’s eyes, it was the best opportunity for a party.

With a groan, Kuroo pulled himself from his lying position once again. “Bo, I told you, I don’t want a party. Plus, I don’t think [Y/N] would be up for that right now.”

With a devilish smile, Bokuto snuck past where the two were sitting and started up the stairs towards the bedrooms. “The party is mandatory; I’ve already invited a few special guests. Plus, if she wanted to go because it was for you, wouldn’t that be another good sign?”

As much as he hated to admit, Bokuto had a point. Looking to Yachi for confirmation, she replied with a shrug.

“She hasn’t been feeling her best lately, but if she was with you, she might go. It might help to get some normalcy back in her life. I do think it’d be worse if she found out she wasn’t invited,” Yachi reasoned.

That was probably true. Kuroo himself had always thought it was better to be invited and not able to attend than not invited at all. “Alright, I’ll ask her,” Kuroo said to nobody in particular.

Bokuto, who was now near the top of the steps, turned around, “good. If you didn’t ask her, I was going to anyway. I like her, she’s a badass.”

Kuroo let out a breathy chuckle in agreement. He knew you’d probably disagree, but after everything you went through, you were still standing. There wasn’t anything more badass than that.

“Damnit lover boy, will you just go to bed now,” Yachi growled as she stood up from the steps.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it,” Kuroo replied as he followed her to a standing position.

He started walking up the steps when Yachi called up to him with some advice. “[Y/N] is convinced that her past relationship has done irreparable damage to who she is. Honestly, for a while, I thought she was right. But then I started seeing her with you and for the first time in a long time, she seemed like herself. Keep doing what you’re doing, she’ll recognize it too at some point.”

Kuroo stared at her sincere expression for a moment as his heart began to swell. It had been him who thought spending time with you was making a difference in his life. Past experiences had taught him not to trust others and to shut them off. He had gotten so good at it, that he stopped feeling emotions for much of anything other than volleyball. You brought back his fire. Whether it was the terror from the stunt you pulled in the haunted house, the anger from seeing you get hurt, or the overwhelming joy he felt when you hugged him; you had a tendency of making his emotions feel heavier. It was as if you were the only remedy. Though it was silly, he was afraid if he lost you, he’d never feel again.

Part of him thought it might be wrong to be pursuing you right now. A lot of things were going against him, but he couldn’t let you slip through his fingers. He didn’t care what your relationship was, as long as you were there. Although there was a particular outcome he hoped for, he wasn’t going to push it.

“Thanks, little crow,” Kuroo said while trying to cover his slight blush. He was thankful for Yachi. They’d gotten close over the past couple of years, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was just part of fate bringing him to you. He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t feel like he needed to know. “So, you headed home, or are you crashing in Kags’ bed?”

Instantly a dark rouge spread up to Yachi’s ears, “AHHH, shut it you pervert! Forget what I said, stay away from [Y/N]!”

Kuroo laughed as he turned to walk up the steps again. “Too late, I can’t let her get away now.”

________________________________________________________________________________

As you awoke in your chilly apartment the next morning, you aimlessly grasped around for something that would keep you warm. Eventually, you got a solid handful of your comforter and you quickly pulled it to your face.

_‘I’m in bed, so Kuroo must’ve –’_ you bolted to a sitting position. Frantically you looked around for any sign of the messy-haired boy. You found none. As your grogginess was replaced by adrenaline, the events of the night prior fell into place. So much had happened, but the one memory that was pounding in the forefront of your mind was Kuroo’s gentleness. A ghost of his hand lingered on your jaw and you instinctively reached up to your chin.

  
Even your own hand couldn’t replicate the warmth you felt when Kuroo brushed his thumb over your bruises.

A shaky breath fell from your lips as your hand fell from your face. Lunging across the bed, you reached for your cell phone that was lying on the nightstand (plugged in, you noticed). Sure enough, there was a text from Kuroo.

**Sent from Kuroo at 1:50 am:** Hey Peach, hopefully, you won’t read this until you wake up tomorrow, but I’m sorry I had to head out. There’s a tournament game tomorrow (today I guess lol), and Yachi wants my head for being out past curfew. Sleep well.

_‘Did he really stay that long,’_ you wondered as you stared at the screen. A familiar feeling of anxiety bubbled underneath your skin. Not only had you looked like a pathetic fool yesterday, you even made him stay out late the night before a big game. Still, there was a part of you that was truly glad he did. It was a selfish thought, which made you feel worse.

Your mind felt jumbled. While Kuroo had been with you last night, it was the first time in almost a week that you felt at ease. Now that he was gone, you felt terrible to have relied on him so much.

Suddenly you found yourself remembering your conversation with Yachi just a few days ago. When you selected Kuroo’s hoodie, she had asked if Kuroo meant something to you. Out of instinct, you avoided the question, not willing to address any emotions like that. As you sat staring at the contact on your screen, a mix of happiness and guilt sloshing together within you, it seemed like maybe you couldn’t avoid the question anymore.

For so long, you avoided any idea of pursuing another relationship. Things had gone so poorly the last time; you didn’t think you’d ever be able to handle another one. You’d insisted you weren’t ready.

That being said, why did Kuroo seem to make you forget that? He made you laugh, made you joke, made you nervous, made you excited, made you mad, made you sad, but then never failed to make you feel overwhelmingly happy and comforted. When he was around, you almost seemed to forget how screwed up you felt. He was like a grounding force, keeping you from drifting into a cold emptiness. With him, you felt… like you.

“GAHHH,” you screeched into a pillow you pulled to your face. “How did this happen? What am I thinking?” you asked to the empty room. After everything with Atsumu, you figured it would take forever to ever care about someone like that, if at all. You weren’t even looking for something like this, but there was Kuroo. He had protected you, supported you, made you laugh, comforted you when you cried; he was just, there.

_‘Fuck,’_ you thought as you clasped tightly at your blankets. Logically, you knew you weren’t good for him. You had said it time and time again. After last night it was clear you were a shitshow, and you were just pulling him into it. That wasn’t even the worst part; you were starting to feel like you wanted him in the mess.

All of your neurons seemed to be firing simultaneously as the gate of your true feelings opened up. The small moments you two shared that seemed strange at the time were starting to make sense. The way your skin felt electrically charged when he first touched you. The way his smile shot through you like a gun. The way his stupid laugh made you want to keel over and laugh like a maniac yourself. The way your face felt warm when he said something cheesy or sweet. You’ve liked him this whole time, you’d only been denying it out of stubbornness.

Everything around you felt warm. The excitement was welling up inside you as clicked on Kuroo’s contact. What if you called him and told him? What would he say? At that question, your mind came to a screeching halt. The eagerness faded from your eyes and doubt replaced your hopefulness.

Hadn’t Kuroo always been there out of a source of obligation? At the party when he first helped you, he had punched Terushima because he was dragging a half-conscious girl upstairs. Any normal person would’ve done the same. And the double date, he only went because Yachi had asked him to go. Both of you had. When he asked you to wear his jersey, he did so to get Bokuto off his back. Besides, he made it very clear he was asking under the pretense of being friends. Then, everything with Atsumu. You had asked him to help you, basically crying out in desperation. Even when he insisted that he chose to help you, when prompted, he said it was because you were “Yachi’s cousin.” All the kindness he had shown towards you, all of it was because he had to, right?

Your throat began to feel tight and it was getting hard to breathe. You couldn’t blame him. Kuroo was a good guy, one who looked out for the people around him. He put others first and didn’t care what happened to him. Then there was you. You were selfish and demanding. Your actions were reckless, and you were unable to fix your own problems. Last night was prime evidence of just how different the two of you were. Kuroo had sacrificed sleep the night before a big match in order to ensure that you got some rest. Meanwhile, you slept soundly like a baby, with no remorse for asking him to sacrifice so much.

Your eyes stung as you started gasping for air. The injury on your neck started burning, like a reminder of the disaster you were. You were scarred, damaged, wounded. Even Kuroo himself had pointed out one of the marks you wore. He didn’t need that ugliness in his life.

At first, when you told Yachi that Kuroo deserved better than you, there was a quiet voice inside you that knew you were trying to convince yourself. Now, that voice was drowned out, and you really meant it. If you let your feelings grow, or heaven forbid, you let Kuroo know, he might try to return your feelings out of that same sense of obligation. There’s no way you could let that happen, that’s where you had to draw the line.

These feelings needed to stop. Kuroo was at most a friend, and you needed to feel that beyond a shadow of a doubt now. He was a good friend to you, and the least you could do was return the favor. Once again you were demanding more from him, and it needed to stop.

Slowly, you felt yourself starting to calm down. Sacrifice. You were familiar with that. For Atsumu, you had sacrificed everything, and he was a terrible person. Kuroo was a good guy, he was deserving of a little sacrifice. Pressing your eyes shut, you willed yourself to breathe. Your chest still felt tight, but there was a sense of peace you found in knowing this was a good choice. The old you would’ve been less selfish, she would’ve put Kuroo first. At this point, you owed him, so this is how you’d repay him – by being a better friend, a committed friend.

For now, at least, you owed him a response.

**Sent from you at 9:30 am:** Thanks for being here yesterday. I’m sorry I kept you up lake. Good luck today.

It was simple, it got the point across. You were thankful, you were sorry, and they had a big game. If you were lucky, Kuroo wouldn’t even bother responding. Though as fate would have it, that wasn’t the case.

**Sent from Kuroo at 9:32 am:** No need to apologize, I wanted to be there, remember? And thanks, we’ll get that W.

_‘He’s being a friend. He’s being a friend,’_ you repeated in your head. The more you let yourself read into Kuroo’s kindness, the more you felt yourself giving in to your own selfishness.

You hadn’t even left bed, and you already felt emotionally drained. You were going to let the conversation end when another text came through.

**Sent from Kuroo at 9:35 am:** Maybe next time we can hang out without you falling asleep.

The words ‘next time’ echoed in the expanse of your brain. Here he was, offering up his kindness again. Was he so worried about you and what you’d gone through that he felt he needed to look after you? That seemed like him.

Although friends often hung out, you didn’t feel like it would be good for you to spend time with Kuroo alone. The intimate glimpses into his nerdy side, his horrible laugh, his beaming smile, it wasn’t good for your heart now that you knew how you really felt. The greedy part of you was screaming to let him worry, to let him spend time with you. But the logical one, the one that woke up this morning, couldn’t bear the thought of taking advantage of his friendship. You feared that if you let this go on, you would only be using Kuroo to fill the holes left within you. If you did, you’d be just as bad as that bastard who hurt you.

_‘How did it get to this,’_ you asked again.

With a groan, you wondered why you ever thought it was a good idea to turn your read receipts on. You couldn’t leave him on open, but you had to keep things casual.

**Sent from you at 9:37 am:** How about a deal? You win today, and I’ll do my best to stay awake in your presence.

There was an added element of jest because you couldn’t just go entirely cold on the guy overnight; that was just rude. This felt friendly, but it also gave you an out, all they had to do was lose. Immediately you regretted those words. Wishing bad things for Kuroo and his team was the last thing you wanted. 

Keeping Kuroo close would be dangerous, but you couldn’t entirely give up on him yet. After everything he did for you, how could you just vanish? It was clear what Kuroo meant to you, but you needed him to mean something else. From now on you would remind yourself that he was just a friend. You were fine, this would work.

**Sent from Kuroo at 9:36 am:** Your words cut me deeply. But deal.

After that, the conversation went quiet. Instantly, your stomach started twisting in a way that made you feel almost sick. You wanted the team to win, but the thought of spending time with Kuroo again was overwhelming. With a sigh, you tossed your covers aside and started getting ready for the day.

_‘Maybe he’ll just forget,’_ you silently prayed that would be the case.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Today was your first day back at classes. Thankfully, it was still cold out, so most of your bruises were easily covered by a turtleneck. All you had to do was put a little makeup to cover the remaining marks scattered across your jaw, and you were good to go. You always wished it had been that easy to cover and forget the emotional damage, but those marks had a nasty habit of lingering.

After a long and draining day of getting back into routine, you pushed through the door of your apartment. Even though you were exhausted, you hadn’t accomplished much throughout the day. Many of your assignments still required the finishing touches, and your portfolio project remained incomplete. Plus, you hadn’t worked out a final design for the showcase. It was frustrating since you stayed in the design lab until early evening.

The day had started terribly, and it was no surprise that it only got worse. Your mood was soured as your mind had been constantly plagued by the doubt and insecurity that seemed to constantly nag you anymore. However, this time, there was an added anxiety about Kuroo. Whenever you felt yourself feeling too suffocated, your mind would just shut down and go blank. (An awful coping mechanism, but the only thing you had found effective in keeping you from crying in public.) Each time resulted in your making an error that caused to you restart what you were working on.

Battling against your emotions all day had been tiring. Disappointment hung heavy on your shoulders as you were now even more behind on work. You could feel the dull ache of an oncoming migraine as you tossed your bag onto the floor and flung yourself onto the bed. It was past dinner, so you knew you should probably eat, but you figured you’d only mess up whatever you tried to cook.

Your eyelids grew heavy as you debated getting up to order takeout. Before you did that, you decided to decompress by scrolling through your phone. Clicking on the Instagram app, the first post was from the volleyball team’s official account. Yachi was in charge of running social media, so you had followed it a while back.

Instinctively a small smile pulled at the corners of your mouth. It was a picture of the team on the bus as they traveled to their tournament game. Most of the boys were smiling or cheering. A few of them had intense looks of focus plastered on their faces. Eyes darting from face to face, they finally landed on Kuroo’s. His hood was up, and he was leaning against the window of the bus, asleep. The realization made your smile fall as you couldn’t imagine how tired he must’ve been to have fallen asleep during the commotion.

After a minute of staring too long, you let go of the photo. A knot twisted in your stomach. Kuroo was sleeping on his way to the game because of you. Instead of preparing and spending time with the team, he was passed out because he stayed up watching you. _‘I really am pathetic,’_ you thought as you continued scrolling.

Somewhere during your social media indulgence, tiredness overcame you as you fell asleep while still grasping your phone. It was a few hours later when you woke up to the buzzing in your hand and the light illuminating your face.

In a haze, you answered the phone without even glancing to see who the caller was.

“Hello?” you asked in a raspy voice as you blinked your eyes awake.

“Well good morning sunshine. You do realize it’s 8 pm, right?”

The voice was familiar, and your breath caught in your throat. Texting him this morning was hard enough. Now you had to talk to him, without the security of being able to really think about your responses. Suddenly you were wishing you hadn’t answered the phone.

“I, uhm, I was napping,” you paused as you rubbed your eyes with the back of your hand. “D-Did you need something?” He sounded happy, so you figured they won their game. However, you didn’t want to ask out of fear that he would remember the deal.

“Well you see, I am looking for someone to celebrate our amazing win with me,” he replied. Even through his phone, you could tell his signature smirk was plastered on his face. Before, you probably would’ve made a joking comment about it. Now, you couldn’t. It didn’t feel friendly anymore, it felt flirty and you didn’t want that.

“Oh, you won?” you asked.

With a dramatic sigh, Kuroo asked, “you mean you fell asleep instead of live streaming the tournament game? Or wait, did you put the game on, and my horribly boring face put you to sleep again?”

He was sucking you in. His voice felt warm and smooth, like caramel. Your resolve felt like it was falling away already, and you couldn’t stop the soft smile that spread across your cheeks. You were such a sucker for his playful charm. “Is there an answer that would make you feel better?” you retorted.

The captain responded with a chuckle, “I guess not. But I know how you can make up for it.”

“Mmm,” you responded as you anxiously chewed at your cuticles. It was coming, it had to be.

“How about you let me cash in on that deal. Since you’ve been napping, I probably have a better chance of keeping you awake, right?”

_‘No, no, no.’_

Pulling yourself from your lying position, you were finally sitting up. “What? Now? Kuroo, you have to be exhausted from the game?” Your questions probably seemed more frantic than you meant them, but you were starting to panic. How could he possibly want to hang out on the same day?

“Honestly I’m wired. I’m so excited about the win. Plus, we have the rest of the night off so it’s perfect.”

A feeling of dread was rising to the surface of your skin. An unwelcome numbness crawled into your brain as panic consumed you. Scrambling your brain for some type of excuse, none came. Honestly, it was like you lost the ability to speak because you couldn’t say anything at all.

“Peach? If you’re busy, it’s not a big deal,” Kuroo said, though obviously less enthusiastic than he had been before.

You were at a loss. Sure, friends could spend time together, that was normal. However, he had just won a big game and still he was worried about you, that wasn’t right. If you said yes, you’d just be continuing the cycle of greediness. “Kuroo, I don’t want to steal you from your friends when you just won.”

Your comment was met with silence at first, then you heard some shuffling. There was a muffled voice on the other end and then Kuroo came back. “Actuallyyyy, some of them are coming too, so you wouldn’t have to worry.”

_‘Fuck. Come on,’_ you sighed as you pulled your lower lip in between your teeth. Somehow you miraculously came up with a decent excuse, but it crumbled. It would probably just be rude if you declined now. Kuroo would know something was up, and it’d most likely make things worse. If you just went, you could get it over with. At least others would be coming, that was helpful. It would allow you to divert your attention elsewhere. Maybe it would even help you act like a normal friend.

“Fine, what’d you have in mind.”

“Atta girl,” he replied, and for some reason, you felt your cheeks growing warmer. “I’m assuming you slept through dinner, so wanna grab some grub.”

The call was a mess, and you hoped you didn’t sound as discombobulated as you felt. Kuroo would definitely notice if you weren’t acting like you usually were. You decided to try and save face with some sass, “who the hell says grub anymore. What are you, 50?” The comment felt forced, not as naturally playful as it was before.

“Would you rather I said ‘chow?’”

“Absolutely not,” you said as you sighed in relief. Kuroo didn’t seem to notice. As if right on cue, your stomach began growling. Since you hadn’t eaten much over the past couple of days, your hunger was hitting you hard. “Where are we going?”

“Don’t worry about it. Can I come by and grab you in 30 minutes?”

Your mind was sputtering.

“Uh, yeah, that’s good.”

“Ok! See you then, Peach.”

As you hung up you immediately fought the urge to slam your head in a door. Falling backward onto the bed, you pressed a cool pillow to your face to try and ease the fire burning on your skin. It was most likely an overreaction, but you had just realized what Kuroo had meant to you, and within that same day decided those feelings were unacceptable. Was it too much to ask that you got a little time to process that?

With a loud groan, you moved towards your closet. Since you didn’t know where you were going, you couldn’t decide if you’d rather be overdressed or underdressed. Supposing it was probably more horrifying to look like you tried too hard, you decided to fall somewhere more towards cute but casual.

After slipping your legs into a pair of camo cargo pants, you tossed on a black turtleneck with a cropped white t-shirt over top. Rolling the turtleneck underneath the top layer, a small portion of your abdomen was now showing between your shirt and your high waisted pants. It felt like you were putting on a costume to play a character. You didn’t feel anywhere near badass but dressed like that, maybe you would act the part.

Heading to the bathroom, you went to finish getting ready. Thankfully your hair was already softly curled from going to class. All you needed was a little refresher on your makeup (particularly the spots that were covering bruises), and you were good to go.

As you were putting some finishing touches on your eyeliner, a realization hit you. Staring blankly into the mirror, you sighed. If you were a normal girl with a normal crush, this would be a really exciting moment. You’d be frantically putting makeup on and fixing your hair so that maybe, just maybe the boy you had a crush on would notice you. Now, it’s almost like you wanted the opposite. If he didn’t even look in your way it would be for the best.

The illumination from your phone pulled your attention away from your reflection. It was Kuroo telling you he was there.

“That little shit, he’s early,” you griped as you ran over to your closet to snatch your white sneakers and black puffy coat. 

There was a growing flutter of butterfly wings in your stomach that you quickly pushed aside. Your body and brain kept seeming to disagree, it was getting annoying.

______________________________________________________________________________

**~POV: Kuroo’s Car~**

It wasn’t in Kuroo’s original plans to be taking anyone to dinner but you. He planned on showing you this really cool hole in the wall shop that reminded him of back home. He figured it was a good way to get to spend time with you while also giving you a glimpse into himself. From what he gathered from your conversations; it didn’t make you entirely comfortable that you’d been forced to share so much about yourself with him. The idea was to return the favor, thinking it might help you feel better.

Though now that he thought about it, maybe it was too much like a date. You seemed very anxious on the phone, so he thought maybe that was the reason. He had asked a couple of the guys to come with him, but only two didn’t already have plans. In a way, he was thankful he had company to keep you comfortable, but he would never admit that. Not in a million years.

“Why did it have to be you two,” the bed-headed boy groaned from the driver’s seat.

“Oh, come on man, you’re just getting dinner. It’s not like we’re being cockblocks or something,” Bokuto protested from the seat behind Kuroo.

“See, this is exactly why I felt it necessary to come. I don’t trust that either of you won’t put your dirty paws anywhere near my precious little [Y/N]. Besides, Hajime is busy studying tonight so if I can’t get post-game action, neither can you,” Oikawa pouted.

Kuroo recoiled uncomfortably and whipped around in his seat. “First of all, fuck both of you, it’s not like that. We are just getting to know each other, and I don’t trust either of _you_ not to embarrass me. Second of all, as close as you think we are, I just don’t need that many details about your life.”

“Sure, and the sheer mention of being in bed with that girl isn’t the reason your face is as red as a tomato right now,” Oikawa physically poked at Kuroo’s inflamed cheeks. “Either that or the thought of my sex life really turns you on,” he stated as he leaned forward towards Kuroo.

Really, his face was red out of anger. He wasn’t mad at Oikawa or Bokuto in particular, just mad about the fact that sex was an expectation. He couldn’t even imagine thinking of you like that right now. Even under normal circumstances, that wasn’t something he imagined so easily. Of course, he thought you were stunning, but after everything you had gone through, that was the last thing he wanted from you. He’d take a vow of chastity if it meant getting to be around you.

He didn’t expect that much to be necessary but sleeping with you was not his intention and he would never want you to think it was.

Truth be told, Oikawa was another one of all of the guys that weren’t completely aware of what had happened to you. None of Kuroo’s teammates had ever held back their sexual comments in the past, so he didn’t really expect them to now. Thankfully they did have some sense of decency, so he was hopeful they wouldn’t say anything in front of you. For now, he figured it was best to just ignore the comment, rather than bring up the reason why intimacy was a touchy subject for you.

Kuroo scoffed and rolled back into his seat before Oikawa got too close. “Tch, that flat ass of yours couldn’t turn me on if it tried.”

“So, you’re acknowledging the latter?” the chestnut-haired boy asked.

The comment pulled a loud bark of laughter from the other passenger in the back. Once his laughing subsided, Bokuto began talking, “Give him a break Kawa, we all know he’s in full simp mode and trying his best to be a prince charming.” Clasping his hands together, he stared up at the ceiling with a dreamy look in his eye to mock his friend. “Which is why I am coming to make sure you don’t pussy out on inviting the girl to your party.” His vulgar language really contradicted how he said it in a very girlish voice.

Kuroo groaned in his seat while pressing his eyes shut. “I don’t see how me being a decent human warrants so many jokes from you clowns.”

“I’ve never seen you this twisted up over a girl, not since, you know…” Oikawa paused while earning another scowl from Kuroo. Oikawa pretended to ignore it and continued, “By the way, you’re hotter when you play the tough guy instead of the nerd.”

“The two of you are going to ruin this for me, aren’t you?” Kuroo groaned as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

The two were laughing in the back seat when suddenly they went quiet. The uncharacteristic silence forced Kuroo to open his eyes. When he did, he saw you walking out of your apartment building. It was well into the evening by now, so it was dark. However, the streetlamp right outside your building was glowing softly on your walking figure.

In a strange sense, it felt like every time he saw you in a new outfit, he got a different glimpse of you. Since you were a fashion major, of course, he expected you to have some sense of style. But it was your ability to pull off damn near anything without even realizing that really left him awestruck. Even yesterday when he could tell you were embarrassed by your casual outfit, though he could only admire you. His hoodie looked so much better on you than it ever did on him.

Today your outfit looked almost tomboyish, but it was still flattering. Pulling his eyes away from your clothes, he acknowledged the way your hair fell gently around the sides of your face as you dug through your purse. Even from a distance, it looked so soft. His mind wondered if it was as soft as it looked.

Suddenly his pleasant thoughts were interrupted by an interested whistle in the back.

“Damn dude, I don’t blame you for—“ Bokuto practically whispered before he was cut off.

“Would you shut the fuck up,” Kuroo hissed just as you were grabbing the door handle to climb into the front seat. You still hadn’t looked up from your bag, so he assumed you hadn’t seen your company. He already told you that others would be coming. Still, he wondered if you were even the slightest bit disappointed to not spend any time alone with him. He smiled to himself, it was a nice thought.

Kuroo’s eyes were anxiously fixed on your figure as you climbed into the car.

“Well, don’t you look nice,” Oikawa sang into your ear.

The unexpected voice elicited a scream from your mouth as you basically jumped onto the dash of the car.

_‘Cute,’_ Kuroo thought as you grasped at your chest with a panicked expression. Yeah, he was a simp alright.

____________________________________________________________________________

As you approached Kuroo’s car, you were too busy checking the contents of your purse to actually look into the vehicle. If you had, it would’ve prevented the embarrassing screech you released when you sat in the front seat and heard a voice from right behind you.

“Jesus, Oikawa. You scared the living daylights out of me,” you finally said as you looked away from Kuroo who was trying to contain a laugh.

Your face was bright red as you took gasping breaths. You knew others were coming, but you didn’t realize they were already in the car. Honestly, you were anxious about some of them being there. You weren’t really sure if you were ready to face the rest of the team. The majority of them had rushed over to the mess that occurred after the game. You weren’t sure how much they knew, but you really didn’t want to. You hoped that you’d at least get the car ride to prepare to face them.

Bokuto leaned forward so his head was between the two front seats. “Hey! Hey! Hey! Long time, no see! Where ya been?”

“Oh, you know,” you said plainly, “just busy with school and stuff.” Instinctively you pulled at your collar to make sure it was covering as much of your neck as possible. “I didn’t realize it would be you two coming,” you said while the normal color returned to your face. Thankfully the car was dark so you hoped nobody would notice how flustered you were. “I’m glad you’re here!” you said with a smile.

_‘Yes, good, a good start.’_

Glancing back over to Kuroo, he was sporting his usual all-black athleisure wear. It certainly made you look overdressed which was embarrassing. Even in the dark, you could see the injuries on his face. You must’ve frowned at the sight because he returned your look with a confused smile.

“You okay,” he asked as he reached out and softly touched your knee that was sticking out towards the center console of the car. His touch was soft it set the skin under your pants ablaze. His eyes softened and he rubbed his thumb over your knee waiting for a response. The touch was so small, but it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest.

“I’m fine,” you replied as you jerked your head away. Kuroo retracted his hand with a pained expression. Though you hadn’t noticed because you began pulling yourself into the seat normally, trying to calm your racing thoughts.

_‘Shit, not so good.’_

Even though you hadn’t seen him, the air felt awkward. “Well, are we going?” you asked Kuroo trying to ease the tension in the car. When you looked over to smile at him, he only gave a half-smile in return.

After that, he put the car in reverse and placed his hand on the back of your chair as he turned his body to look out the back window. The soft light outside the car lit up the side of his face as he backed out of his parking spot. The look of his sharp jawline and the close proximity of his hand resulted in you blushing and turning your head to face outside of the car.

Just as you had thought, it was a reassurance to know that the others were there to keep the attention off you. You were weak for Kuroo, there’s no way you would’ve been able to do this alone.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Sitting in a small booth at a local burger joint, the boys filled you in on how the game went. The dinner went by more smoothly than you would’ve imagined, that was until Oikawa started asking about you.

“So, how are you doing?”

You looked up from the fries you were picking through on your plate. “I’m good. Like I said, just busy with school.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Oikawa said as he narrowed his eyes at you which made you drop your gaze almost immediately. Shifting uncomfortably, you figured this was coming sooner or later.

“Alright, enough, leave her –” Kuroo started.

“No, it’s ok. I should probably address the elephant in the room.” You interrupted, though you refused to look away from your plate. “Thank you all for helping me, I’m sorry for anything you had to witness. I hope you can forgive me for all the trouble I’ve caused for the team.”

No answer was provided at first as the boys sat in awe. Of course, Kuroo knew the extent of your guilt, but the other two were unaware.

“Oh hell,” Bokuto boomed as he slung an arm around your shoulder in the booth. “You didn’t cause any trouble, that little dickweed shouldn’t scare girls like that.”

Your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. _‘Scare? That’s a funny way to put it?”_ you thought. It was a heavy topic, but Bokuto seemed to take it lightly. Almost too lightly. Then as if lightning jolted through your body, it struck you. Maybe not everyone knew exactly what had happened?

Bokuto continued as you sighed in relief, “plus, do you know how long I’ve been waiting to watch Tetsu beat the shit out of someone. The man’s hit two different guys for you, ya know? But hey, who’s counting.”

The relief that you just felt fell away quickly, replaced with remorse. The reminder caused you to pull your head upward. Just as you did, a beat red Kuroo was winding up to throw a french fry at Bokuto. Once Kuroo was finished with his display he looked back over at you. His eyes looked gentle, almost embarrassed.

Kuroo’s expression only made you feel worse, reminding you that his violence was out of character. A trait you had brought out in him. Although that was true, you couldn’t help but see the softness in his golden eyes. Something about it weakened you. “Yeah, and I don’t know how I’ll ever repay him,” your mouth said without conscious thought. It wasn’t until after that you realized you hadn’t yet broken eye contact.

All three guys at the table fell silent. Kuroo’s expression blanked as he looked at you with parted lips. Your face was growing increasingly warm as you realized just how cheesy the comment has seemed. Turning into a stuttering mess, you tried to pull yourself together, “I-I’m so sorry. That was weird, I just meant I am very grateful for him. I mean, no wait. Grateful that he’s punched people for me. Well, not FOR me, but –”

“Bokutoooo,” Oikawa sang, “I’m starting to feel like we aren’t as welcome at this table anymore.”

His words set your skin on fire. Kuroo continued to sit dumbfounded. If you didn’t pull it together quick, he looked like he was about to book it out of the restaurant and run for the hills.

“I’m sorry,” you said as you pinched your eyes shut. “I didn’t mean to make everyone feel uncomfortable. I am just bad at showing appreciation. In truth I am thankful to all of you in one way or another, so there,” you finished by snapping your eyes open and tossing another fry into your mouth.

You focused on chewing angrily on your food, this was turning into a disaster. You were supposed to be friendly, that was over the line.

When you turned your attention back to the table, all three boys pressed their lips into a thin line in an attempt to stifle laughter. Although it was a failed attempt as they all ended up bursting into loud chuckles. It was probably justified. You were just a blubbering idiot moments ago, now you tried to take on your badass persona. It didn’t really work like that.

“What now?!” you barked with a pout.

“Honey,” Oikawa said as he reached across the table. “Even when you’re angry, you’re just about the cutest thing on the planet, other than me that is.”

The subtle compliment made your skin itch. Though you were uncomfortable at least the attention was now on how unbelievably conceited Oikawa was. It made you feel a bit more relaxed.

“I think I have a way you can make it up to my man Tetsu, though,” Bokuto redirected the attention towards you.

_‘No, not again.’_

Apprehensively you looked at the boy sitting next to you. You didn’t say anything, but your eyes signaled for him to go on.

“Well, this lovely man’s birthday is next week, but we are hosting a party for it on Friday. Why don’t you come?”

Kuroo kept his mouth shut, but it was clear that he was staring daggers at his smirking friend. The look made your stomach drop, it was almost as if he hadn’t wanted Bokuto to extend the invitation. Your heart clenched painfully.

“Do you not want me to go, Kuroo?” you asked as you pushed past the lump in your throat. It was his birthday and his choice, but it still hurt.

“What? No! Of course, you should come if you want. I just barely even want to go,” He admitted with a flustered expression.

He hadn’t even mentioned his birthday was coming up. Of course, you didn’t ask either. The guilt sank in again. _‘What a great friend,’_ you thought.

You swirled the ice in your glass as you thought about the invitation. Getting drunk in a room full of mostly strangers was the last thing you wanted to do. Plus, your track record for how well parties had gone at the volleyball house was poor.

Almost every instinct in your body was telling you to say no or to make an excuse that you couldn’t come. Just when you were about to decline the invitation, your eyes met the side of Kuroo’s face who was now bickering with Bokuto about his party. He didn’t seem entirely angry, just annoyed. The way he huffed at Bokuto’s justification for the party made you smile softly.

There it was, the weakness that threatened to pull away your determination. You couldn’t help the thought that popped into your head of a big smile plastered on Kuroo’s face as he celebrated his birthday with the people he cared most about. Your traitorous brain placed you right next to him. You internally swatted the thought away. _‘Stop it,’_ you chastised.

When you didn’t respond, Bokuto continued, “the only requirement is that you wear an outfit that’s monochrome. Since Tetsu’s being LAME and won’t let me do a toga theme, we are sticking to a color theme.” His annoyance was returned by Kuroo who just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

Your heart fluttered briefly in excitement. Monochrome, that was something you could do. This whole past year you’ve experimented with outfits revolving around a single color. It’d been your entire focus on how to play with patterns and textures to make a seemingly simple outfit exciting.

Although as quickly as it came, the excitement left, doubt filling its place. Doubt that you’d have a good time. Doubt that things would go more smoothly than they have. Overall it still seemed like a bad idea.

“Can I think about it? I don’t feel like I’ll be much fun, but I might feel better on Friday,” you said nervously to the table. You had decided so much today, you only had enough energy for so much. Thankfully that answer seemed to satisfy them for now as they nodded and continued with their own conversation.

“Dude, you just want to do toga because you liked the way Akaashi looked in his Halloween costume,” Kuroo said.

“What’s your point,” Bokuto questioned as though he was insulted.

Despite the doubts you felt, even you had to laugh at that. Bokuto had an utmost admiration for Akaashi, that’s for sure. You respected that, but there was also a pang of jealousy in your chest. Did everyone get a soulmate or was it just a special kind of person?

Glancing back over at Kuroo, you knew he was that kind of person. You had witnessed first-hand the way he cared deeply about others. The way he took his job as captain and protector very seriously. The way he aspired to be more than anyone ever thought of him. The way he was thoughtful and caring.

Then there was the side that you had seen. The side that was stubborn, thickheaded, and occasionally antagonistic. The two of you bickered, argued, and he even fought people to protect you. Tears pricked in the back of your eyes as you thought about how you were the one who seemed to bring out those negative qualities in him. That thought only reassured your idea that the two of you didn’t make a good pairing.

At that moment, you felt your spirit shatter again. It was too difficult to be a friend to Kuroo. It was always too tempting to be selfish, even though you were clearly hurting him. It was pathetic, you were pathetic.

Maybe you did have it in you for one last choice; you wouldn’t be going to the party. From now on you needed to put as much space between you both as possible. In fact, it was probably best if you separate yourself completely from the volleyball team. It was the only way to protect them.

When you all left the diner, your hands were trembling as you imagined this would be the last time you spent time together. Clenching your fists together, you thought about the others who weren’t at dinner, like Suga and Akaashi. The old you would’ve been a great friend to all of those people. Crescent-shaped indents formed as you released a hot breath to distract yourself from the tears threatening to fall. An unpleasant numbness began creeping up your neck and into the base of your skull. You were sad and you didn’t want to feel it. You wanted to shut it off.

Throughout the car ride home, you gave in to your coping mechanism and let your mind go blank. The boys kept a steady conversation throughout the ride, but you didn’t hear a word they said. Every now and then you would just nod in agreement or offer a small laugh in order to throw off any suspicions.

Later that night, you sobbed into your pillow at the thought of how history had repeated itself. You hadn’t expected to make any friends let alone find yourself falling for someone. Like you had expected, you weren’t ready. So here you were, pushing them all away. Once again you were pushing people away because of the way you were broken at Atsumu’s hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still isn't my favorite chapter, but I think it's alright. Clearly, our reader is experiencing a lot of conflicting thoughts. She'll get through it, she just needs a bit of help!
> 
> I promise there are happier chapters to come!!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	15. The Emergency

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grrrr why am I so bad at updating. But now I'm determined to finish this story because I had another idea pop into my head that I am really excited to write. I also think I was letting the chapters get a bit too long, so it started to feel more like a chore than writing for fun.
> 
> But anywayyysss. Thanks to everyone who reads! I love posting so let me know if you enjoy it!
> 
> Happy Reading   
> MW

**~Volleyball house POV~**

“Ugh,” Kuroo groaned as he leaned against the kitchen counter glaring at his phone.

“Is something wrong? We can do this another time,” Daichi said as he clicked pause on the film he was currently playing on his laptop.

The two captains were reviewing footage of their next opponent when Kuroo was distracted by his phone. He had texted you several times throughout the course of the week. Most of them were random thoughts that had popped into his head that he thought you’d appreciate. Though, the majority of them you either didn’t respond to or sent a generic response. Since it was Friday, he thought he’d start the conversation by asking how you were feeling and if you were any more interested in coming to the party later.

He figured worst-case scenario; you would avoid the question. Never did he think you would just flat out decline the invitation.

The message itself was cold, a simple “I can’t make it. Sorry,” resting in a gray bubble on his screen.

“She’s not coming to the party. I don’t know what I did, but I feel like something is wrong,” Kuroo admitted as he tossed his phone aside out of frustration. Even in the case, it made a loud clank as it connected with the countertop.

Daichi raised his eyebrows and gave the taller man an inquisitive look. “You’re talking about [Y/N], right?”

Kuroo only nodded in response before he tipped his head back in resignation. He couldn’t quite place what he was feeling. Sure, he was disappointed you weren’t coming, but he wasn’t angry. He felt more… afraid. Afraid that he’d done something to push you away. The thought that he lost you before he even had you was eating him alive.

“Weird,” Daichi hummed. “Kou said basically the same thing. Apparently, she’s been ignoring his messages.”

Kuroo stiffened. Quickly he snapped his head back to his co-captain. “What? She has?”

Daichi folded his arms across his chest as he leaned back and nodded.

“Something is definitely wrong,” Kuroo said as he pushed off the counter and started pacing the kitchen. “What should I do? I don’t want to freak her out, but I want to help.”

Daichi sighed as he shifted to lean forward again. “I don’t really know, man. I hate to say this, but whatever is going on between you and her is kind of a concern.”

Kuroo stopped dead in his tracks. “How?” he scoffed as he looked down incredulously at his friend.

“Your game’s been off ever since our last match. Your blocks are slow, you’re not jumping as high, you’re in your own head during practice. I’m just worried this girl is going to have a negative impact on the team.”

Admittedly, the last few practices weren’t his best, but he didn’t think it was that bad. His thoughts had been pretty occupied by you lately, but he hadn’t considered that to be the reason he wasn’t playing well.

Suddenly the air in the room seemed to vanish, and it felt like Kuroo had just been shot. He wanted to be pissed at Daichi. He wanted to grab him but his shirt collar and throw him on the ground, but he couldn’t. Daichi was only saying what he himself said to Yachi not too long ago. When she talked about Kageyama he told her he’s support it until it affected the team. Now here he was, in a relationship (could he even call it that?) that had the potential to hurt the team.

“Fuck,” he mumbled.

“Maybe it isn’t worth it man? It’s your senior year. Do you really want a relationship right now?” Daichi asked as Kuroo plopped down across from him.

With his elbows on the table, Kuroo wrapped his fingers around the back of his head. He sat there silently for a moment until finally he unlaced his fingers and looked up.

“I-I don’t know what to do,” he croaked out. “Should I just give up?”

Kuroo barely said the last word above a whisper, but a nearby eavesdropper still heard the entire conversation. Around the corner, Oikawa was standing flat against the wall listening to every word. He had come down to make lunch when he heard Daichi start ragging on Kuroo’s performance in the past couple of practices. He thought it would be interesting, so he lingered.

While Oikawa agreed Kuroo wasn’t at his best, he couldn’t deny the fact that he played the game of his life the night after staying late at your apartment. Despite not having slept much, his stats were near record-breaking. Actually, Kuroo had been playing a lot better in general, particularly the day you came to watch the team. There was no way you extinguished his fire; you were his spark.

“Idiots,” Oikawa griped as he pulled out his phone. “I swear I have to do everything around here.” Scrolling through his contacts, he finally landed on the one he needed. Clicking the call button, he let it ring.

“Oikawa?”

“Yachi, hey. I need [Y/N]’s number,” he demanded quietly as he walked away from the kitchen.

________________________________________________________

Avoiding everyone throughout the course of the week proved much more difficult than you previously anticipated. Several unanswered texts resided in the message’s app of your phone, the majority of them being from Suga and Yachi. Kuroo had also texted you a few times, and you finally got the courage today to tell him you wouldn’t be in attendance that night.

It was getting colder outside, and you pulled tightly at the sides of your coat as you walked down the sidewalk to your apartment. You were rounding the corner of your street when your phone started buzzing in your pocket. Pulling it out, you saw an unfamiliar number on the caller ID. You never really answered random calls, so you figured if it was something important, they would leave a message.

The phone finally stopped buzzing, and you were shoving it back into your pocket when it rang again, the same number flashing on the screen.

“Ok, that’s weird,” you mumbled to yourself. You put it back in your pocket and hoped that whoever was calling would get the memo.

When it started ringing the third time, you finally decided to answer it.

“Hello,” you asked with a tinge of annoyance. If it was a telemarketer, you were going to be pissed.

“[Y/N]-channnnnn! Help, it’s an emergency,” the voice sang. You recognized it as Oikawa’s almost immediately.

“Oikawa? What’s wrong?”

“I’ll explain when I get there, just promise you’ll help me,” he responded. You couldn’t tell if you should be worried or not. His tone didn’t imply that anyone was dying, but he said it was an emergency?

“Get where? What’s happening?” you pressed.

“Your apartment! I’m on my way. I’m walking up to the building now.”

“Wait wh-” you started but immediately stopped when you saw the man in question turn the nearby corner and walk towards the same building you were. When he looked up, he instantly saw you and started jogging in your direction.

“Oikawa, what are you doing?” you asked hesitantly as he approached you.

Oikawa lunged forward and grabbed your shoulders in a desperate plead, “please tell me you have a free minute. I really need help.”

“With what?” you asked as the boy dropped his head between his shoulders in a sulking manner. The reaction caused your stomach to twist in fear. Without hesitation, your mind was racing with worried thoughts of someone being in danger.

“Ugh, you can’t tell anyone this, but I need help picking out an outfit for the party,” Oikawa confessed as he released his death grip on you and stood up. “The only monochrome outfit I have that isn’t black or white is mint fucking green. In high school I used to think it was cute, now I’m just embarrassed.”

A loud breath of relief fell from your lips. When it did, you put your hand over your mouth softly out of surprise. You hadn’t realized you’d been holding your breath. Once you gathered your bearings, you glared at the tall man in front of you.

“What the hell? You can’t just tell people there’s an emergency when there’s no emergency. I thought someone was really hurt!” you barked with the most intimidating scowl you could muster.

Oikawa did his best to suppress his grin. “This issssss an emergency. My title for best-looking teammate is at risk!” he whined.

Rolling your eyes, you moved to push past the boy, but he side-stepped in your path.

“Wait, please,” his tone turned serious. “All jokes aside, I really would love your help. I want to look nice.”

Something seemed off. He sounded sincere, but you could tell he was hiding something. Still, he was anxiously awaiting your response, almost as if you denied him, he was going to burst into tears.

“Do you want me to go shopping with you or something?” you finally asked with apprehension in your tone.

Giving him a long look, you took note of how he was tall and lean with pale skin and chestnut-colored hair. While mint green probably fit his personality, it wasn’t his color. He needed a darker, more earthen tone. Maybe you could help?

The tall man began snickering with a devious smile. “Actually, I was hoping, if it wasn’t too much of a bother, you’d let me wear one of the outfits you’ve made?”

You practically had to pick your jaw up off the floor when the words came out of his mouth. It was a shocking request, and immediately you felt disoriented. For a minute, you almost thought you misheard him.

“What? Oikawa, no. You don’t want to wear one of those,” you admitted while you stumbled back waving your hands in front of you. Oikawa was still holding you under his insidious gaze, his proximity was starting to overwhelm you.

“Ummmm are you kidding? I saw the way Akaashi looked in those photos. I want an outfit like that! Isn’t monochrome like your thing?”

You were turning into a bumbling idiot at this point. Words were trying to be formed but they came out as confused noises. “I, uh, uhm, ah.”

“Please? It would be an honor,” Oikawa said as he closed the distance once again and grabbed your hands in a pleading gesture. As he lifted your hands, your gaze followed to meet his face again. With big eyes, he jutted his bottom lip outward and gave you what you only assumed was his puppy-dog face.

It was cheesy, but it did make you want to give in and agree. You knew you shouldn’t. All week you’d been desperately trying to avoid the volleyball guys. Now Oikawa just shows up and asks to wear one of your designs to a party you already told the host you weren’t attending? If he told Kuroo, that would be awkward. All the reasons why you shouldn’t agree were racing through your skull.

Though, however loud they seemed to be, there was one thought that was louder; the thought that someone liked your work so much that they wanted to wear it. In your field, that’s all anyone ever wanted. This had never happened to you before. Atsumu had never even acknowledged your work, let alone request to wear it. 

Despite it being freezing outside, your face felt hot. You weren’t used to people complimenting one of your designs; it was both uncomfortable and exhilarating. Suddenly your mind was flooded with the mental images of a recent design you had finished. At first glance, it might’ve looked like a simple outfit. In reality, it was one of the most challenging yet rewarding pieces you had made. To see someone as handsome as Oikawa in one of your favorite projects would be truly heartwarming. It might even remind you why you fell in love with fashion in the first place.

That hopeful thought pushed all doubt out of your head. Finally, you gave in and decided that lending an outfit wouldn’t be so bad. “I might have something,” you sighed as you pushed past the man and towards the front doors of your apartment building. Oikawa let out a cheer behind you as he moved quickly to pass you.

“Oh my god, I could kiss you,” Oikawa exclaimed as he grabbed your arm and started to pull you behind him. You couldn’t help but note the way his hand clutched onto yours. His fingers were long and slender, and you could feel his callouses brushing against your palm. They reminded you of Kuroo’s though slightly smaller and less warm. You frowned to yourself.

_‘This is why I need to stay away from the volleyball team.’_

___________________________________________________________

“Shit, [Y/N], this is stunning,” the boy said as he admired himself in the standing mirror in your room.

The tall boy was dressed in an all navy ensemble. The slacks were tapered, so they fit his long legs nicely. Although well fitted, they were relatively plain and lacked details. The top though, was the star of the show. It was a button-up collared t-shirt, made of a sheer navy material. It wasn’t entirely see-through, more like a curtain material. On the shirt, hand printed in white ink, was a map design, similar to one you’d see on a globe.

Since the outfit was a finished product, you had stored it away in a chest in your room. You never could bring yourself to throw your designs away, so you always found places to store them. The printing itself had taken nearly an entire week to finish since you hand drew the stencil. It was one of the pieces that really showcased your artistic talents, and it looked perfect on Oikawa. Your heart began to swell with a foreign pride at the thought of your work being recognized.

“Are you sure about this? I don’t want to ruin it,” Oikawa asked as he spun around to face where you were sitting on the bed.

“If you don’t wear it, it’ll just sit in my closet.”

Oikawa dramatically grabbed his mouth with his hand as he gasped. “NO! What a horrible tragedy. Well, I supposed I’ll uphold my title of being the best-looking member of the volleyball team after all.”

You started laughing as the boy continued to admire himself in the full-length mirror. True, he was very attractive, but you weren’t so sure he was the _best_ looking.

“Mmmm, do you disagree,” Oikawa asked playfully as he moved to sit on the bed next to you. “Is there someone you think would rival my position?”

There was a look in Oikawa’s eyes that suggested he already had his answer. You shifted uncomfortably under his confident gaze.

“What are you insinuating, shittykawa,” you dragged the end of the nickname to emphasize your annoyance.

Oikawa laid back and folded his arms behind his head. “Oh nothing, I’m just wondering if you find a certain raven-haired bastard irresistibly handsome.”

You weren’t facing Oikawa yet, and at the moment, you were thankful you weren’t. Bright red was blossoming across your face. Sure, there had been a couple of slip-ups, but you didn’t think it was that obvious.

“Don’t be absurd,” you said while standing and walking towards your closet to fidget with your open chest. You hoped that the increased distance would hide the fact that you were currently now blushing to your ears. 

“You know he’s been playing like shit since you started avoiding him. Daichi is worried it’s hurting the team dynamics,” he said very matter-of-factly. You froze, suddenly feeling you’re your body was encapsulated in ice. Without warning, you felt like you could vomit. There’s no way that was because of you. It couldn’t be.

“That has nothing to do with me and I’m not avoiding him,” you squeaked out. It sounded like a lie, even to your ears.

Oikawa laughed quietly behind you, and you heard the bed shift as he walked over to where you were crouching.

“So then, what will you be wearing tonight?” he asked as he stood next to you and began to sift through some of your hanging clothes.

“Oh,” you started as you stood and walked back to go sit on your bed, once again refusing to face the tall man. “I’m not going.”

“And why is that,” he asked as he pulled out one of the tops to get a better look at it. It should’ve felt like an invasion of privacy, but you were too busy admiring the floor to really care.

“I just don’t feel like it,” you said quietly.

Oikawa didn’t say anything at first. He only put the shirt back in your closet and walked over towards you. When he was standing directly in front of you, he stopped. It wasn’t until you finally picked up your head that he started speaking again.

“Can I ask you something?”

You hesitated, “y-yeah, I guess?” You had a bad feeling about this.

“That Miya guy, he’s the one you were talking about before? That time at the track?”

Instinctively you grabbed at the bedding and turned away. “Yeah, he is.”

“And he didn’t just threaten you, did he? He really hurt you, and he’s done it before?”

Your head snapped back towards the man in front of you. “What? Why would think –” Then before you could finish your thought Oikawa was tapping on his neck, right where you knew the bite mark was situated on your own.

In a panic, your eyes grew. You hadn’t even realized that you took off your jacket and sweater once you entered your apartment. Now all you had on was a t-shirt and the mark had to have been visible.

“SHIT,” you yelled as you clasped at your neck and tried to rush to the bathroom.

Before you could get too far, Oikawa yelled for you to stop. “[Y/N], it’s ok. You don’t need to hide it. I had my suspicions long before I saw that.”

You stopped dead in your tracks. As your breathing became uneven, you could feel his analytical eyes scanning your back. There was a pit that was growing in your stomach. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“Well after our original conversation, I gathered that someone had hurt you pretty bad. I didn’t really know in what way, but I could tell it was rough for you. Then when Suga called Hajime over to the car with the med bag, I figured it was because someone was hurt. You looked pretty upset so I assumed it was you,” Oikawa reasoned.

You still hadn’t turned around to face him. It was getting hard to breathe. Of course, you were mortified, but for some reason all you could feel was anger. “Is that what you really came here for?” you hissed angrily.

“What? No—”

“Then what was it? It wasn’t for the clothes, was it? Did you want to humiliate me? To tell me to leave the team alone because I’m toxic? Well sorry for wasting your time but I already know that!” you shouted as you finally whipped around. Tears were starting to stain your cheeks and you didn’t even bother to wipe them away. 

“[Y/N], wait a minute, I’m not –”

“That’s why I’m avoiding him. That’s why I’m avoiding everyone!” you were borderline hysterical at this point. Your chest was heaving, and tears flowed in a steady stream.

Without wasting another second, Oikawa had closed the gap between the two of you and wrapped you in a hug. “Shhh, you’ve got it wrong. Let me say something.”

You tried pushing away, but he held on too tight. Eventually, you gave up and let him practically smother you.

“I did come here for the outfit, but it’s true that I also had another reason. It wasn’t to berate you; it was only to figure out why you’re trying to distance yourself from everyone. I’m sorry I tried to instigate it out of you, I just felt like if I asked you straight up, you’d lie,” he admitted. “You might be able to hide behind words, but you’re terrible at hiding behind emotions.”

He wasn’t wrong, you probably would’ve lied. But still, you felt a little hurt. “That’s called manipulation, you asshole,” you said with a tone that sounded a little more sarcastic than angry.

Oikawa pulled away slightly and looked at your face. You were sure you looked a mess from crying but he smiled. “I guess we’re both a little toxic then.”

You looked at him in shock for a minute. It was incredible how he could pretend he was the most perfect human alive one minute, then so easily admit his flaws the next. Strangely enough, you admired him for that. If only you could accept your flaws as he did, then maybe you’d be a more confident person. Anger was replaced with sadness as you fell back into the warmth of his chest. “Yeah, I guess so.”

You both stood like that for a moment. Then Oikawa finally spoke up, “can you do me a favor?”

“Hmm,” you hummed.

“Come to the party tonight. See if you can at least talk to Kuroo.”

You immediately pulled back, “Oikawa, we both just agreed I’m toxic. I can’t pull him into this, it isn’t fair. I need to give up.”

“Listen,” Oikawa said so firmly it was almost frightening, “it isn’t my place to tell you how Kuroo feels about you. But I’ve known him for a long time, and he’s different around you. And not in a bad way like I know you’re thinking,” he said while pointedly. “He’s more passionate and enthusiastic. I haven’t seen him like that in a long time.”

“Oikawa, I—”

“Just go, and at least ask him one question. To start a conversation and at least get an answer to something,” he said.

You looked at the tall boy as he finally released you. The past several days you had spent in a pit of despair because you thought you already had the answers to your questions. Now, Oikawa was telling you that maybe you were wrong. Maybe this whole time you had just been coming up with your own answers to protect yourself?

Asking seemed like the easy solution but putting Kuroo on the spot and asking how he felt didn’t really seem like the right question. Plus, you didn’t think you could handle a flat-out rejection if your own thoughts were true. Standing quietly, you couldn’t think of a single thing to ask.

“What would I even ask?” you said quietly.

Oikawa put a finger on his chin and looked upwards in contemplation. “Hmm, well why is it you think pushing him away is helpful?”

You sighed and your throat tightened as the words left his mouth. “I just… I just feel like I’ve forced him to feel responsible for me. Like he’s taken his job as being a protector so seriously that I’ve added another name to his already extensive list of people he looks out for.” You paused. “I also feel like I seem to bring out the terrible traits in him.”

The admission tasted bitter on your tongue. Although you had thought it yourself, you hadn’t said it out loud yet. It hurt when to hear the words exist in the real world.

“And what traits are those?” Oikawa asked. Although he was keeping the conversation going, he wasn’t pushing. Only offering up the opportunity for you to answer. The conversation would end if you wanted it to, you knew that.

“Well violence, for one. You heard Bokuto. He’s hit two people for me! And I make him act irresponsibly and make bad choices and apparently I’m also forcing him to put the team’s success at risk!” As you listed the ways you knew you were hurting Kuroo, you felt a burning sadness crawl up your throat. You knew these things were true, how would Kuroo see them any differently.

Oikawa slid his hand in yours and pulled you gently towards the couch. When you both sat down, he put an elbow around the couch behind and leaned his head on his palm towards you.

“You know,” he said while looking forward, “you may see those things as being bad traits, but I don’t think that’s entirely true.”

“Oikawa,” you snapped as you turned your body inwards to face the man that was still facing forward. “There’s no way that hitting people is a good trait.”

“Let me finish, please,” he said calmly. “Yes, senseless violence is a horrible characteristic to have, I’m sure you are aware,” he said as he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. Immediately the mark on your neck started burning. “But his violence wasn’t unwarranted. He hit a couple of douchebags to protect you which I see as passion and dedication. Sure, Kuroo isn’t typically like that, but maybe it isn’t such a bad thing.”

“What?” you scoffed. There was no way that Oikawa was actually rationalizing this.

Oikawa sighed before continuing. “Again, it’s not really my place to share things for Kuroo, but you aren’t the only one with a shitty ex. It was years ago, but ever since things went south between the two of them, Kuroo’s been pretty apathetic about things. Things he used to love, he barely acknowledges anymore, including volleyball.” Oikawa paused and finally looked over. “That is until he met you. Ever since the night of that party I’ve seen him laugh and smile quite a bit more. Sure, he’s also been overwhelmingly angry, but I’d take that over someone who doesn’t care about anything at all.”

You were speechless. His reasoning wasn’t terrible, though you weren’t entirely sure you agreed with him. If it was true though, was it really because of you? Did you really make him feel differently? Your heart fluttered at the prospect. That was it; that was what you needed to ask.

“Okay,” you nearly whispered. “I’ll go.”

“Perfect!” Oikawa sang. “Now let’s pick you out an outfit!”

It was difficult to process all you felt at that moment. Part of you was grateful that someone else was encouraging you. Another part was afraid that you wouldn’t get the answer you wanted. But the last part was really happy that maybe you didn’t have to entirely give up on Kuroo just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, not them both being idiots and wanting to give up on the other. Bless Oikawa's soul. Anyways, let's see what happens at the party... shall we?
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it so far! More to come! Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions.


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